@Joseph248 welcome to the family brother and god bless you. As far as your question I just keep it within reach.
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Not sure how you got that the wife passed away. No worries like that happening. All is safe.
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Hello everyone, here’s my first post after signing up in Jan, in preparation for my CCW course/test. Passed that and now I’m licensed to carry. Now I’m out in CA and new to gun ownership. I’ve studied and trained in a variety of ways in the past 8 months so I’m competent and quite comfortable with my skills. My wife is reluctantly getting out to the range and is not comfortable at all with the idea of carrying outside the house much less inside… It’s definitely the “we don’t need to be paranoid and go to this extent where we live”. National crime index 4.00, California 4.41, my city 6.45. How did others get past the initial concerns with their spouse?
Thanks in advance!
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Hi @Louis41 welcome to the community!
Getting on the same page as your spouse is always super important. Usually finding a point in the middle (aka compromise) is a good start. Communication is key. Find out why she is reluctant (is it fear, its frivolous, etc) or is she just “meh” on the concept of firearms. Not everyone loves to goto the range and there’s nothing wrong with that.
I’ll list a couple of other threads here with content that may help.
Sometimes, a spouse (especially if small-statured) may not like shooting duty calibers (9mm, .45, etc). You may not have any problem handling recoil but they might due to either strength or technique. In that case, every range trip is just “unpleasant” and you’ll find any excuse to not go. So maybe a smaller caliber pistol/rifle like a good .22LR can make shooting “fun” and then squeeze in a mag of a duty caliber so they are comfortable using the home defense weapon if needed.
I haven’t had to convince my spouse about firearms in regards to defense, but I do live in a low-crime area and have had the “why do you carry here its totally safe” conversation with a few folks. It goes something like this:
although the risk around here is very low, the risk is never zero . And if I only carried when it’s likely that I need it then I’d never carry, and then when I needed it I probably wouldn’t have it. Because it’s not like I go romping through drug-dealer infested dark alleys where I can say “today I need to carry”. So if I ever need it, I know I have it.
When it comes to mass shootings, by definition they almost always happen where people are not expecting to be attacked. Our churches, places of work, our schools, our theaters. I absolutely will not be one of those people cowering behind a desk waiting to die.
And then I can even give them a very specific personal example. There was a murder, quasi-famous around here because the murderer fled the country and was later extradited from his country back here to stand trial, and of course I have bookmarked the article(s) from appropriate anti-gun friendly news sources. That murder… happened a few blocks from my house. I used to walk my dogs that way, the wife used to jog that way, I’ve driven past it untold times. So I then re-iterate… around here… while the risk is low … the risk is never zero .
Links to other threads on the same/similar topic:
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She made me do it. “Honey, I think you should have a gun.”
She may be regretting that statement a wee bit. I won’t go into the details, but suffice it to say a lot of those couples gun memes aren’t particularly exaggerative.
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@Louis41 Welcome to the team and community! We are glad to have you! It’s starts with a discussion as to the needs and wants of firearm ownership, storage plans followed by the desire to carry. Your wife must trust you and your plan in order to feel safe and comfortable. My wife knows how to handle firearms yet has no desire to carry. You can’t force the issue. As for you, consistency is key. The more you carry, the more you both will feel comfortable. As @Harvey previously mentioned, there are several supportive conversations here.
Best of luck!
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Hilarious, lucky you!
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Thank you for information and the links. I’ve previously read a couple of them and they all give a good perspective on the issue. I think it might be a matter needing more time to adjust, it has been a fast track to where we’re at now! Thanks everyone, I’m loving the community!
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Unfortunately it took a near tragedy on 12/19/18. You can look it up if you want the gory detail. Its under 12/19/18.
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Thank you for the info. I did several searches and found so many responses I could tell for sure which near tragedy it was. I apologize but I’m going to have to ask for some help with a link.
But seriously, thanks, I am curious to check it out.
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That’s the Same with me. I switched to IWB about 4 years ago. Now the only time gun and I are separated is when I’m in the shower or bed. Then it’s in my night stand. I’ve been known to fall asleep on the couch with it. When grandkids are over I lock it in my closet. Military bases, banks & government buildings never.
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Thanks for sharing your story. It allows us all to learn. I am glad your family came out alive.
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Excuse my lateness but have had many disasters that happened! I’m sorry heard wrong but glad I was WRONG.
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The military has me sleeping with my weapon ( holstered ), and when I get up so does it. No matter if I leave the house or stay home all day, I have mine on. The only place I do not have it within reach is at work.
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I justtell people that if I have my pants on , I am carrying. Otherwise like in the recliner or bed it is within arms reach. Then there are still the guns that are scattered around the house and the so called play room/man cave. Also all of the ammo is not located in the same spot
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Short answer: Do all you can to persuade her to the idea; If she still refuses at accept it then establish you priorities. Your and your family’s safety must be No. 1. She’ll get over it eventually,maybe!
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When wearing elastic banded pants, use a belly band. They work well. Just situate the gun in a comfortable spot.
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Learn to fill that empty holster and carry everywhere but the shower and bed. I would advise against using a paddle holster in case that thought crossed your mind.
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