Just cause you like it, doesn't mean she will!


Take in consideration that because that gun fits you and WOWs you, does not mean it will do the same for her.
I was at my local gun store and was just browsing when I overheard a husband and wife pick out a firearm for her. He had the store teller pull out a Smith and Wesson M&P 40. He put it in his hand and played with it before passing it on to his wife. When he presented it to her, her eyes got big! Not big like she liked it, bug as in the size scared her. She was hesitant in grabbing it and really didn’t seem pleased. Then she asked to see the SIG 365XL. The Husband cuts her off and saids, NO thats just a 9mm and it hard too shoot. He then added, you need a 40 and a gun that has holds more ammo.

With all that said, she put the Smith on the counter and walked out! Lol, the husband stood there and still continued to negotiate the price and purchase of the 40cal.

Just remember, if she wants a gun let HER pick the gun or shoot the gun before purchase. Don’t be the overbearing husband and let ego interfere.


Hi @Alexander25. Welcome to Community.
Yeah… that was a great example how NOT TO BY a firearm :joy:
I cannot imagine what happened next when they came back home…



Lol, yea I know. No nookie nookie for him that night!


Funny that you posted this tonight…a few hours ago, my wife & I walked into one if the local gun shops so I could get something for her. Weaker hands, so I suggested the 380 EZ…she loved it. Was able to rack the slide much, much easier than my Sig 365. Fit her hand well, checked off all the boxes, so I bought it and we walked out 25 mins later with it. Came home & dry fired, and she loves the feeling of it; the trigger weight, grips, slide serrations, the whole 9. Perfect buy! The goal was to get HER something comfortable. She asks me questions, and gets the honest answer so she can make up HER mind!


Damn… How dare you :joy:
You should force her to buy M&P40 EZ :crazy_face:

I’m glad we have another M&P EZ series lover :muscle:


Right on Alexander25. I understand. Thanks for your post. It’s easy to get excited with any new gun potentially coming into the home.

She’s his best friend, she walked away from a journey of becoming a new responsible guardian of a firearm, we owe it to them to treat the idea in a loving fashion also, respecting them (non-pressured). Like when we first started out.

Each new user/buyer male or female could choose his/her own; hearing experienced ones share, then taking it all in. I went through quite a few firearms, before I settled on my favorites, that was part of the fun, having a journey.


Yep. When the better half got her firearm, I took her to the store. I did give her some suggestions at what she might want to look at given her hand size. Then, she picked the one she wanted, a Glock 43.


Well, I agree and disagree. Had I left the choice up to my wife she’d have chosen a .22 revolver. I bought her a gun I believe is good and easy to handle. After a few range trips I can always move to a Glock 43 .38. I’ll let her handle my G43 too. I just feel a .22 is just not enough. But I can always go to a Lugar LCP II

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If (hopefully - When) my wife decides to carry, I’ll let her pick whatever she will feel comfortable carrying. Even if she picks a 22. She’s at least still carrying something and upgrading later will be an option. Buying something she doesn’t like will probably mean it will sit unused in a drawer and might turn her off from the idea completely.


I bought my wife the MP shield EZ .380


A word from the wise. Do not give the wife a M & P 40 for her to shoot for the first time ever shooting a hand gun. Now she will not shoot anything. Start her out with a 22 cal.


Welcome to the Community, @Alexander25! It sounds like she had done some research and had an idea of what she liked. It’s unfortunate that he wasn’t hearing her. It’s fun to train with your spouse/significant other when there’s no “I know better” attitudes.

I co-taught a co-ed class this weekend. There were a fair number of couples in the class and a number of them chose to sit separately during the class. One woman had a harder time on the line as my co-teacher was a big, burly former police officer was the one issuing the commands loudly (it’s a shooting range, we have to be loud). I worked with her a little bit, adding a softer touch to the interactions and making sure she knew that we BOTH respected where she was on her journey and that people react differently to different teaching styles (part of the reason we teach together).

Her husband pulled me aside after class and thanked me profusely for working with her. He said that she felt a lot more comfortable after I worked with her and he KNEW that he could try to teach her, but it wouldn’t have been as effective as having another female teach her.

It comes down to know and appreciate the differences of how others learn and what they need.

Great points @Alexander25!


Sometimes people try to apply the “Family Rules” to everything.
These: “I know better, I’m your husband” or “I’m your Father, you listen to me” will never work when it comes to firearm choice.

This has to be a personal decision. Suggestions are ok… but that should be all.


In my life view these are never adequate arguments for or against anything. In fact, falling back on the “because I said so” argument simply proves that you’ve lost the reason and logic part of the debate and have pulled out the bully card.

Amen. Welcome to the family.

Firearms are personal tools. My kid sis prefers my old S&W 65, my Dear ol’ Dad a Colt Cobra, my Dear Ol’ Mom also has a different Colt Cobra (they had these prior to their marriage). I prefer the 1911 (Rock Island 22TCM/9mm double stack). My elder brother is legally blind and no longer owns a firearm. My two little sisters and their families also are licensed carriers. About half my friends are Concealed Carriers, most of the other half own firearms as well. I’m not sure if any two people carry exactly the same firearm.

Needless to say while many people own more than one firearm among my many friends you will find Rugers, S&W, Tauruses, Colts, SCCYs, Khars, Glocks, a Desert Eagle, a Helwan, a Berretta, even an AMT Hardballer. (A lady friend of mine has a partly pink SCCY, not my choice but she loves it and is fairly good with it.) The main thing is that they treat them with respect, handle then safely and can shoot them accurately. Calibers run the gambit from .380 through .45ACP.

The best thing to do is to allow a person to try anything you have to learn the fundamentals. Start them off with gun safety and maybe a 22LR, but let them work their way up in power and size as they feel ready. Then turn them loose in a gun store and have them pick up and feel everything they are interested in and then rent the top two or three they might want to buy. And go from there.

One of the worst things you can do is buy them a smaller gun that what you would buy for yourself as if they can’t handle a 9mm so they get a .380. If they want a .380 fine, but if they want and can handle a .40 or .45, good with that too. If they don’t like it they won’t practice with it, or carry it. In which case you bought a paperweight.

My wife just took her first class she used my shield 9 and realized that she had a difficult time racking the slide. So we rented a ez 9 and she had no problems with it and liked it. The only change she wants to make is add a crimson trace. Anything she wants she will get so she will be comfortable with it and practice as well. She picked the pistol,I wanted for her anyway but wouldn’t buy it until she shot it.

Depending on your wife’s hand/arm strength, there may be techniques she can use to rack any slide. The EZ is an awesome gun, don’t get me wrong. I always show people who say they can’t rack a slide a couple of different techniques that help. I’d say 80% end up realizing that they can rack any slide if they use better form.


Yep. He wanted it. So I’m thinking he was going to kill 2 birds with one stone. :flushed::rofl:


Fortunately, my LGS/range has a great women’s program, with terrific instructors. If it was time for my wife to buy a gun, I would send her in to see them, WITHOUT ME! She needs what fits her and makes her feel comfortable and wanting to shoot.

And of course, what’s wrong with 9mm? It’s good enough for the FBI, most of the police, and the US Armed Forces.

Sounds like an ego issue going on there.


I’ve taught several ladies to shoot over the years, and I always start with a nice .22targwt pistol (so they can learn about sites and actually “hit” the target, then work up to wherever they are comfortable. I’m always aggravated when a local “expert” tells them they “need” something that is difficult to hit with. Recently had a friend contact me about wanting to learn to shoot. She had a new handgun that a guy at the gun store had told her was what she needed-a hammerless .38 snubbie. She’d tried it at the range and couldn’t hit anything with it. I set is aside and taught her to shoot with a Buckmark. Once she had that down we tried a .22 Mag single six. She quickly picked up on that. I taught her to learn trigger control with her snubbie by using the old “penny on the back strap” while dry firing her weapon, I then brought out a long barreled J frame .38 and she shot it single action for several cylinders, then tried double action. After she’d mastered THAT we then tried her 342. Because of the dry fire practice and all the live fire she’d done she was quickly on paper and hitting consistently with her.38. I told her when we started that it would take several sessions and lots of practice, but I’d get her where she was comfortable with her weapon if she’d stick with it. She did, and was thrilled when she was able to consistently dump 5 rounds in a tight group at 15 yards.