I Need All the Advice (mostly just holsters, but I'm all ears for anything you have to say)

Zee, wise words indeed. Carrying every day has given me a sense of peace. Not bravado … I’m not a cowboy. But knowing the laws, knowing that I am well-trained, knowing that my weapon is reliable and that I can deploy it if needed, all of that gives me confidence.

The fact that I carry also enhances my senses. Because I have a loaded weapon, I am responsible for every round it contains. I’m much more aware of my surroundings, activities. I’m much more likely to recognize danger and remove myself and my loved ones from that situation. So for me, it’s not as much fear but rather diligence.


I feel this sentiment rapidly welling up in me since just buying my gun about two weeks ago, and even though I have not been able to CC yet with it.

I’ve been too not-afraid of situations historically. I think I wrote this above somewhere, but I’ve delivered pizzas in ghettos in the wee hours of the morning, I’ve walked through truck stop parking lots at night without a care in the world, I’ve done uber/lyft in a metropolis at all hours of the day and night - all without any fear whatsoever. Now, I’m already thinking twice. None of those occupations would allow me to carry, but I’ve been wondering if there would be any consequences for doing so, other than just simply being fired from said jobs (mainly uber/lyft). I’m also being more aware of my surroundings, and thinking ahead to going to places where the risk of harm are greater and carrying while being there.

It’s almost as though just having a gun has made me paranoid. Most people would probably just call that common sense awareness or something, but coming from a proud, brave woman, this is really a new feeling for me.

And I say “proud, brave woman” because that is how I felt. People DAILY would ask me while uberlyfting if I was scared to do this job (with trucking also, but not that often). My first retort (that I didn’t vocalize) was that it was quite the sexist question (I doubt many ever ask men this question, but I realize it’s not so much sexist as it’s just a legit question given how much easier I could be overtaken by a person compared to a man who’s larger than me, and asked with true concern) but would reply that I just wasn’t scared. This caused me to feel proud that I am not living my life in such fear.

But here I am now, in fear, and looking to CC. I think I’m coming to the realization that I have been reckless with my safety, and that pride probably had a lot to do with it.


@bulldog. I have more holsters than I could count. My wife says I have more holsters than she has pairs of shoes :high_heel:


^^^ that is the self-defense mindset you want. Self-defense is not just about having a gun, but about having the mind engaged to make sure your choices, actions, preparation, and training are really where they should be to give you the ability to defend yourself… or to not need to.

It hasn’t made you paranoid… it’s made you aware of the realities of the world you were not paying attention to before.

It’s not braver to be oblivious… its just oblivious. The awareness you’re finding now is one of seeing the real world, and preparing for the real world, and THAT is an act of bravery in itself. And something to be proud of :blush:


@Paul1 yes, exactly.

Not a sense of dreamy unconcern, but a sense of eyes-wide-open peace.
Not because I am unaware of the risks, but because I am grounded in the real world, with the best knowledge and skill I can bring to the deeply important business of protecting my own life and the lives of those I love.


They all are still, good Sir, it depends on the day, my going to the wall, taking a moment to decide if today it’s going to be natural leather or dark havana? At least that’s how I justify the crate of holsters.


Are you legally present and acting in a lawful manner?

No, you don’t have culpability simply because the situation makes you uncomfortable about your own safety and safety of others under the laws of any state I’m aware of.

From what you’ve described you are taking the logical and responsible approach.

If you have any friends in LE locally you might consider getting one of them to attend off duty and in civvies just to get a read on this guy and get their opinion as to whether or not you should consider taking further steps.


As far as I know you are right here. In every state I’m aware of the duty to retreat is specific to the case at hand “in the moment”.


You might have a real hard time getting AA members to be willing to attend meetings at a Police Station as some if not most are probably in AA as a result of interactions with police prior such as getting a PI or DUI.


^^ excellent idea


You mentioned living in Wisconsin and wearing layers of clothing for winter. I dont know how you normally dress but I can imagine a shoulder holster would work for you. This would also help to not draw suspicion of a new tactical purse or fanny gun pouch.
Sounds like you are all sitting around talking so a shoulder holster would be simple to draw from. Hmmm Group meetings in a small room with one door out…definitely mace is out of the question. I want to suggest a small powerful pocket taser in case a situation breaks out were people are grappling with this individual. Just an idea. The main thing here is be armed, get training, go to the shooting range and know your laws. People that dont CCW have no idea it’s not about carrying a gun. It’s a mind set and way of life.


Due to reading posts here on the training section, I’ve been now pondering a getting a taser. Maybe that’s something I’ll go look at today after the shooting range in the next town over.

Great advice about the laws. I learned the laws in CC class a couple weekends ago, but despite paying attention, I can’t remember a few of them. I’ve had to Google a few already since being there. At least I learned it was important to know the laws surrounding CC, I guess, lol. I did just recently read up on Castle Law, and should relearn some more of the laws here in the next few days before my permit actually comes in the mail.

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There are a number of topics on Tasers in the Community that might help, @LolaKinks


I will check those out, thank you!

Also, holy effing poop. My CCW permit came in the mail today!


sounds like your in a AA or other addiction program and your concerned about others who may come armed and high. Perhaps a stalker or ex. In any event my advice is to train with your weapon of choice until you are extremely comfortable and familiar with it. Then find a holster you r comfortable with, there are many styles to choose from. Comfort, Ease of access, conceal ability are just the basics of what you should be looking at. When you have spent enough time training so you can disassemble, clean, reassemble, and load your gun, you now need to train with your weapon & holster. Knowing exactly where ALL you gear is (gun, xtra magazines, knife, flashlight, etc) so you don’t have to look for it, holstering and drawing your gun without looking for it that should be your goal before safely carrying concealed. Knowing that carrying a concealed weapon carries an awesome responsibility as well as liability make sure your ready. As far as carrying in a small room, you must know your surroundings. If you shoot where will the projectiles go? (are there other people in the line of fire or a wall a bullet will pierce through, who’s on the other side of the wall? etc). Will you put others in harms way if you shoot? Training is what will increase you confidence and safety. One final thought, guns and alcohol or any other addictive cns stimulants don’t mix. Check your local laws. I hope this helps.

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Ok, you may not like my answers. Ma’am you seem like a lady who is trying to do alot of good in what ways you can. This man however is not only disturbing you and others, but he is doing so, so much that you have considered going to the police. You say that numerous others have expressed their fear to you.

Now I haven’t been to an AA meeting before but my understanding is that sobriety is a one day at a time journey, how many others journeys is he interfering or endangering?

I would, for lack of a better term, swallow my pride and go to that brother in law who is in law enforcement and ask him to attend and ask him what he thinks.

Also you have to ask yourself a really hard question. Can you take that man’s life if you have to? Combat trained soldiers serving in line units are statistically proven to only have about 30% of their numbers actually shooting for effect. That is one of the many reasons that Special Operations Operators are almost always “tasked out”.

Once you have your CC permit, get some training. From what one of my favorite people calls a " serious person". That’s a euphemism for someone who has been shot at with intent and has shot back with intent. John Lovell of the Warrior Poet Society has a great YouTube channel and recently did a good series of training videos with the USCCA.

Also since you are involved with the buildings management, I would probably recommend an alarm with a panic button you wear around your neck and your cell phone as the contact number with a monitored service using an affirmative phrase for send help now and another phrase for sorry was an accident.

Best advice I can give you. YMMV


I’m not recommending this revolver for your carry; I’m offering photos of my holster for it.
This one is custom made by my local leather worker/saddle maker. It isn’t a budget holster, but it doesn’t cost any more than many premium holsters offered online. This application is OWB but inside the belt. This is an option that works for us for rough wear, though my friend carries his 1911 concealed in his holster built exactly this same way.
My point is not to promote this style of carry or even this design holster. Once you are certain you have your every day carry weapon, you may want to have a reputable craftsman build your custom holster to perfectly fit that weapon. Make sure it’s a design you can wear comfortably and securely, then have it made to please your eye as well. Comfort and ease of use is more important than beauty since nobody will see it while you’re carrying. Choose a design that will be an easy or not too difficult proposition in bathroom visits.
It’s an option anyway.

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I have to say this 686 plus is fun fun on the range…great trigger in SA and easy and smooth DA. Load up some .38 target rounds and shoot all day.

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