Conceal carry and dating

No offense, but with how crazy people are these days, I wouldn’t want to go on a first date with someone if they had a gun. Some dudes be crazy… ladies too for that matter. I wouldn’t necessarily take offense to her saying you carrying if y’all met would make her uncomfortable… she may just not want to end up dead in a ditch. Second, does she know police carry guns?
A lot of people I have met have a limit on how much they can/want to talk about SD and firearms…my wife is one of those people. However, in person, it is easy to see when you are approaching that limit. Not saying she isn’t a little odd, maybe, but she doesn’t seem like she’s going to stab you with a fork during dinner.

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What happened to her hair??

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I agree with @OldGnome.

Just SLOW down partner…

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There’s a lot there to digest.

First, calling a young lady or a woman a chick is demeaning. Whether intentional or unintentional, it tells us all you don’t have a lot of respect for women. People who like or love a woman, call them a woman or a lady. Calling a woman a chick shows that you are “that” guy and women tend to try to avoid, “that” guy.

Second, This young lady has a kid and doesn’t care about your beliefs, perspective, or feelings on self protection. She’s interested in 2 things, keeping her kid safe, and making sure that any guy she brings around will be someone she wants around him (i.e. good influence and not a bad influence). You clearly set off too many red flags for her and she likely considers you unsafe, wreckless, potentially dangerous, or any number of other things and based on what I read…I think she made the right choice. You don’t seem to care or consider her point of view because if you had, you wouldn’t be asking a bunch of strangers how you should feel, you’d already know that you probably didn’t give the best impression to a mother who is looking for the right person to invite into her life and be around her son.

Third, if you’re sending that many texts, you come off as needy and desperate. YOU need to find a hobby. The lady has a child and a life. Stop trying to make yourself the center of her attention…because that will never happen with a good mother. You should recognize she has a life and want to be part of it, not force yourself into her life whether she likes it or not.

Lastly, you honestly set off my warning bells too as a father of a daughter because coming right out and telling a woman you hope to date that you carry and they have to be fine with it is really the worst way to do it. You don’t need to divulge that you carry on the first date, that tends to scare even gun friendly women away. Instead, get to know each other, let her know you’re into shooting, ask if she’d be interested in going to a gun range some time and try it out herself? If she says she hates guns, fine, move on. If she says she’s never tried and might consider it, again, get to know more about her and let her learn more about you…but refrain from spewing gun rhetoric and tell her you’re really into personal defense…because that screams lunatic to most women in general. After a couple dates, if things are going well, it’s ok to let them know you have a permit/license but I’d even mention it by saying what you went through when you got your license so that when she learns you have it, and are likely armed, she also knows you went through all the legal means to get it which will help. If she happens to hug you or accidentally hits it and asks what it is before hand…be honest and let her know that you do carry and you worked really hard to go through the steps to get your permit/license so she doesn’t think you’re some gang banger with a gun illegally.

Hope that helps.

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Hey my brother, you really didn’t have to mention the fact that you carried. I would’ve kept it to myself and see how it worked out when you met. But long story short, if later when she finds out you do and she doesn’t like the fact that you carry, move on to the next one. But if this lady is interested in becoming a police officer it’s kinda strange she would mind you carrying.:thinking:

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Then replying she’s not ok with carrying…

source

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Dr Phil here or a wannabe…LOL…ive been married and divorced a few times, on a first name basis with the divorce judge…LOL…Glad I met my mrs, we been together 13 years. Thank goodness she hunted and was a gun nut, loves to ride bikes and sleds, etc. The mrs would tell anyone to be prepared, and defend oneself. She is a patriot! Maybe ladies like her are few and far between. I stumbled into her by accident, and my experience on dating sites was horrible. I always say, I am who I am, and not going to change.

DR. Phil out…

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Lmao,now that’s funny

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I agree with all the others saying to keep that info close to the vest. Most women (especially with a child) are already leary of letting a man get too close. Heck, my wife wouldn’t go out on a 1 on 1 date until she met me in a group setting first. She didn’t even know I carried! However, that gave me a tremendous amount of respect for her.

What I’m trying to say is, let her drive the relationship at first. She is the most vulnerable, so she should be able to get to know who you are on her terms first. She’ll know that you are respecting her space, and that will only make her like you more. Win/ Win

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I’ve been married 16 years…my wife is still leary of me…but now she at least has good reason lol :face_with_hand_over_mouth:

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Perhaps list trap or sport shooting as an activity to your online dating profile. This will save you time and money.

That said, view the first several dates in the same light as printing. No one should know especially in our current climate. When the time is right stick to one topic and one topic only…K.I.S.S. Do not overload the conversation discussing cant angles and the meaning of +P. That’s equivalent to her discussing Real Housewives of Any town or her son playing the recorder.

My wife is understanding and supportive yet has no interest in CCW (currently). As supportive as she is, she has zero interest in any of my technical, holster and/or accessories talk. That’s what my friends and this community is for.

Also, lose the word “chick.” It’s not cool!

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This is good advice. If carrying is important to you do not date someone who doesn’t have the same ideology. It won’t work.

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Dude… think about your first two sentences in this thread.
…never really been in a relationship… looking for something long term…

Now follow it up with… and I carry a gun…

I bet when you say it you intent is to be sincere and transparent. But say it to yourself a few times and pretend your a single mother listening to what your saying.

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Forgive me, but when I first saw the subject title, I thought it was asking about that moment of truth when a relationship had matured somewhat and worried about the big reveal.

First, lose the word “chick”. It’s not the 70s anymore.
Second put something in your dating profile about enjoying rifle or pistol ranges as a free time activity. Too soon to mention concealed carry yet. Go out a time or two and find out what her interest are. Concealed carry should be way down the line, after there’s some trust built up. That’s like asking about how many kids you want on a first date. Probably gonna be a last date. Good luck dude. Dating advice on a USCCA forum. Maybe it’s time to add a new section.

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Is that a pistol in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?
Mae West

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Ask Dr. @Michael554

Might I suggest an addition (or beginning) to Dr. Michael’s rules for dating …

Only date women known to frequent ranges, gun shops, sporting goods stores, and Harley Fest

Of course the corollary is to avoid dating women from your shrinks waiting room and the AA meeting.

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The fact that you carry, or are a “Gun Guy” is not a “first date” topic of conversation. For the first few interactions, she is nothing more than an interested stranger and should be treated as such. After all, would you go up to everyone in a big box store and announce that you conceal carry? Doing what you are doing on dating sites or on first dates amounts to the same thing. Unless you meet someone at the range or in a gun-related class leave the gun stuff out of initial conversations.

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Is anyone else curious how this turned out? @Forensic_Wow any updates?

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Looks they live happily ever after :face_with_hand_over_mouth:

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Couldn’t be anything else with all the great advice we offered. :laughing:

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