Conceal carry and dating

Concealed Carry
#1

I’m in the dating world never really been in an actual relationship. Trying to talk to people online and find something long term. I don’t want to date somebody who’s not going to accept my lifestyle cause it plain out is not going to work. I carry everyday so I try to at least mention it, or get it brought it up.

So I was talking to this chick and I asked her, if she’s okay with me having a concealed handgun license and if she would be okay with me carrying because a lot of people I talk to block me the minute I talk to them. I don’t want to waste people’s time.

Her response:

  1. I want to join the police academy so I’m okay with guns, and I want to eventually get my CCW, and I feel that guns aren’t good or bad.

So we talk and talk and talk and talk.

She went ahead and sent this long text out.

Finally done with laundry for the night. Off to bed. So I just want to be 100% honest… sometimes I get overwhelmed by the amount of messages that you send me. I’m pretty busy most of the time so if it will take my longer to read everything n then text changes are it’ll take me long to get back to you. Especially after I go to bed or I am at work. Also when it comes to music where wayyy different which is okay. Also I can tell u really really into self defense n guns n stuff. That’s fine but it’s kinda overwhelming to see/read because I’m “unsure” about my feeling of guns. Also if we met up in person would u be carrying? For me trust goes a long ways… until I build that up with you I wouldn’t be comfortable around u if u were carrying n I knew that. Also I’m a very realistic/ serious person… n I tend to only laugh at serious realistic things. So like memes on Facebook or videos of different thing I don’t like. I’m always busy with my child 90% of the day unless they’re sleeping so I rarely ever watch videos. I’m sorry I hope I didn’t hurt ur feeling. I just want to you be aware of how I feel if that makes sense. I hope you had a good night at work.

How should I feel about this? I told her from day 1 I carry everywhere I go, from the time I get up to the time I go to bed, every single day. It be a different scenario if I just said hey I have guns at my house, but I carry a gun on me in public.

Any advice? Thank you.

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#2

My first reaction is YOU calling a young lady/woman a chick. Maybe I am old fashioned (I am old) but to me shows a lack of respect on your part.

Now as for her response, if it was me I would politely answer her with a short message tell her I dont thing it would work and I would move on.

You were upfront and to me is sounds like she was either 1) leading you on at first or 2) someone else talked to her and changed her point of view.

Don

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#3

I’m 63 and married for more than 34 years. Lose this word, unless you are raising chickens.

Otherwise, you need to slow down. That’s the overall message she was giving you.

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#4

Hard to give dating advices… It’s easier to give firearm advice because we know what to expect from the firearm…

Anyway, as @DBrogue said - starting dating with “chick” not a “woman” is the first red sign . :triangular_flag_on_post:
The other thing is try to recall, how many times have you told her you have been carrying? Perhaps it was too much? In some moment she might realized that she would be position between you and firearm (not physically, but mentally).
I don’t know any woman who wants to be “between”… :neutral_face:

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#5

Relationships are like growing plants. It takes nurturing and time to make a healthy relationship. The right women is out there and she will have your back and support you 100%. As for you will have her back 100% and your support. Communication is a good key to understanding and dealing with problems that might or will rise up in a relationship. Your actions will speak louder than your words.

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#6

Damaged goods, baggage, bad attitude, narrow minded, wouldn’t waste any more time! It’s still a large ocean, seek love elsewhere! What makes a couple are commonalities or you could just marry her and work on it for the rest of your life! Read text again and notice she has more than one child!

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If this is NOT what you see when you read her texts, dump her!
A picture is wort a thousand words!
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Probably out too busy protesting! Too busy being seriously serious!
On a more tactical note, I would not divulge the fact that you carry anywhere online! Especially to a person you have never met and might meet!

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#7

I wouldn’t date her if I were a man. She sounds crazed and unable to stay on course. Also, calling a woman a chick is so 70’s. Bad idea.

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#8

I agree with everyone’s comments on the word chick. I’ll add that her response wasn’t very consistent. She mentioned her child then later in the sentence uses the word they.

Going forward I wouldn’t even mention carrying or self defense. People change when my wife and I met she had no interest in either. She wasn’t against it, it just wasn’t an interest we shared. Today she quizzes me on different situations and has a more active interest.

Personally for me until someone gets to know me they never know I’m carrying and once they do they realize I have been the whole time and will continue too.

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#9

Not really one to give dating advice, since I did not date for a LONG time before my GF, but the above would tell me a lot. Me personally, I carry everywhere I go, unless it is illegal to carry there. Also, in Louisiana, you have to have permission to enter a private home armed…

My advice, for what it is worth, to run, but if you like her, back way off, and maybe see what else is in the sea…

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#10

The sidearm does not define who you are. As others have said … communicate and build trust; patience, you’ll get there. The right women have an uncanny knack for finding you … just be yourself.

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#11

@Scott52 - I would really like to know where you found a picture of my ex.

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#12

Wow, the group has devolved into dating advice, hahaha! Just glad it’s not for me.

Old guy anecdote: I used to LOVE street bikes as a young man, and racing them on the track on weekends. It put some ladies off. I still loved it. Learned to not talk about it so much unless with my racing buddies. Guns are similar. Know your audience.

Good luck younger brother… :crossed_fingers: Hope you find a good one.

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#13

Refer to a woman as a woman. When I met my wife, she was completely okay and understanding with me carrying each day. After we started dating she got a CWP. I think you want to find someone that is okay with you carrying and
hopefully find someone that would probably carry. If you are both okay carrying then you do not have the problem. I don’t know her so I will not give any advice.

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#14

Personally, I wouldn’t look for a woman online.

One word: Catfish

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#15

Sounds like this is turning into a Dear Abby. After three wives I am the last to advise on matters of the heart.

Larry

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#16

Freedom of Information Act

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#17

Yep, 100%!

That being said, I’ll try anyway :rofl:

I agree with the other folks in here, don’t call her a “chick”. Respect must be given to be received. If you consider them “chicks” then that’s all you will find.

I picked up on two bits from her messages.

sometimes I get overwhelmed by the amount of messages that you send me.

You are sending her way too many messages. Back off on the frequency or volume or timing. Some folks are attached to their phones and reply instantly to all messages. Some folks just aren’t and may take a while to get back to you. Sending “did you see my text” doesn’t help. If you find yourself staring at your phone waiting for a reply… go find a hobby (I’m joking, but also serious… find something else to do).

I can tell u really really into self defense n guns n stuff. That’s fine but it’s kinda overwhelming

This also sounds like you are sending her a lot of info on guns and/or self-defense. Turn it down a notch or three.

In general, you don’t have to spill your whole life story to someone you haven’t even met yet. There is so much that doesn’t come across in a text/chat/email that you get from in-person. Save some things for in-person dates and even date number 10 and beyond.

Someone above said “know your audience” and that’s 100% true.

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#18

We have had similar threads here on this very subject already. Heck, I even have a few replies in them too.

I had the gun thing in my profile. I did not have in there that I had a CCW though. I may have talked about it a little, in the context that I am quite into competition, so frequently at a match on weekends.

Others have already said what I noticed as well.

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#19

@MarkinMT:

However that one was more about being safe with online dating…

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#20

Just a hint. Try to mention you have a ccw & carry. Done no more about it unless asked. She has a busy life, you not so much.( I guess.) Try not to be a stalker, cut down on texting. Chat is one thing , meeting is real life. Get used to wasting time. After covid go meet people.

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