Should I Tell My Date I Carry a Gun? | USCCA Blog

#1

A first date can be complicated. But for those who carry concealed, it can be even more so … and more than a little nerve-wracking too. There are no rules or roadmap for what you should and should not do when it comes to disclosing that you’re armed. And if you’re newly single or fresh in the dating scene, it can feel like you’re venturing into uncharted territory.

This is a companion discussion topic for the original entry at https://www.usconcealedcarry.com/blog/should-i-tell-my-date-i-carry-a-gun/
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#2

I would definitely tell them if they have kids and also out of respect since firearms are such a taboo topic in today’s society. That is very important if you want a relationship based on honesty and trust. I approach the situation this way and say something like, “there is something I really need to tell you and I am kind of scared too because I don’t know how you’ll react, but I hope you will understand. I used to be involved with a person I wish I never would have dated and their ex had a very bad criminal record. They didn’t tell me until we started going out. I’m pretty sure nothing bad will happen, but the world is getting to be a very scary place and I’m not taking any chances. For my safety I have a license to carry a concealed firearm. If that’s something you are afraid to be around I just wanna let you know that is okay with me.”

Most of them are very understanding. If they are hesitant I always mention it’s not the gun that is dangerous. It’s the person that is in control of it that determines whether it remains safe or becomes dangerous. With proper training and responsibility a gun isn’t anymore dangerous than an inanimate object such as a swimming pool or a can of beer.

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#3

Leave you gun at home or in vehicle. Making this way too complicated. Go out, enjoy yourself and the topic arises then talk about it, Just say I am a gun owner and have a conceal carry permit. If she/he is a major pain in the ass. Go out with someone else,. And I am sure this won’t be a topic in most cases…blessings! Unless you make it one,Relax, way too complicated, K

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#4

Doesn’t seem like a real icebreaker on a first date.

Really, though, I’ve been aware of this unwritten agreement on “concealed” carry for quite a while: if it’s really concealed, who’s going to know?

I mean, isn’t that the whole point? What are you tucking that trigger in your trousers if you’re just going to walk around telling everyone you have it? If it’s that important for everyone to know, just strap it to your face.

#5

I just met a chick that is a little older than me on a singles site and I just put it out there. I said there’s something I’m a little scared to tell you because I don’t know how you’ll react but I need to be honest and tell you that I carry concealed because of something that happened in my past. I said if that is uncomfortable for you to be around and you don’t want to become involved with me I will completely understand. She was very nice and said I won’t judge you or what happened as to why you now carry but that firearms make me nervous. I said if it will make you more comfortable I won’t carry when I am around you okay?

#6

I’m no expert. But what if instead of ‘if it will make you more comfortable I won’t carry around you’ you went with something like 'if firearms make you nervous I could teach you to shoot… I mean if you think about it guns are a lot like sex… I bet that made you nervous the first time to, didnt it? ’
You never know, she she just might take the challenge. But seriously, if you shoot and you carry why on earth would you want a date/potential partner/friend that didnt accept that?
Personal opinion - I have guns, I shoot guns, I carry guns, I hunt, I fish, I stand for the flag, I kneel to pray, and I even eat meat… if any of those things offend you then we don’t have much long term potential. CHECK PLEASE…

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#7

I could always let her try my SIRT pistol and smokeless range setup too see what she thinks. That way she can learn the fundamentals safely until she feels more confident too shoot a real gun. If she is intimidated by firearms it will probably make her uncomfortable to hold a real one her first time out. But we can build up to that when she feels ready. :slightly_smiling_face:

I shot my first gun when I was 6 so I feel totally comfortable around firearms. My dad was a hunter and we used to go target shooting all the time when I was a kid.

#8

I’d take it a different route - more along the lines of I carry to protect myself and those around me, including you. I’d love to introduce you to firearms and help you become more comfortable around them.

Some girls want people to protect them. Others want to be able to protect themselves as well. Some who think they want others to protect them realize they want to protect themselves once they’ve been introduced to the lifestyle… growth opportunity! :smiley:

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#9

That’s a great idea. Thank you Dawn :slightly_smiling_face:

#10

I guess I got lucky. I currently date a lady who worked in the same profession I was in so we both had firearms training but with different state organizations. We even carry the same caliber firearms. I just wish she would upgrade to a better manufacturer. I think watching me disassemble my pistol for cleaning as oppose to the difficulty in disassembling hers, just might convince her to trade up. I wish you the very best, Lakerfan. And make use of Dawn’s advice. I think she’s right on target!

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#11

I agree. While I can respectfully agree if someone doesn’t understand why I carry everybody does have the right to self protection. If a person won’t be with me just because I choose the right to carry for protection then maybe they aren’t worth dating.

#12

Me and my now wife dated 4 months before she knew i carried a gun every day she was a bit nervous at first and I told her i have been carrying and owning firearms for quite some time im not going to give it up i like you and hope you understand. The more she was around it the more it didn’t bother her and since having kids she has gained interest in learning about them

#13

This is a good topic to come up again. I agree with @Greg35.s comments about if they offend you or make you nervous, then there isnt much long term potential.

However, why am I saying this is a good time for this topic to come back up? Because of all the civil unrest and uncertainty, I think there are a lot of people who were potentially against the idea of concealed carry and guns in general who are re-evaluating their position on firearms. This is a potential for the dating pool to be getting a little larger for those of you still out there. Not me. I am married and have absolutely zero interest in getting back out in that pool. But this also brings up some interesting situations. Typically dating might include either meeting for drinks or a drink or two at dinner. How do you handle that as most states frown upon drinking while carrying.

#14

I’m married so I don’t have to worry about this. But to me, if you met them online or in a way you’ve talked before the date. You should talk about it then. Before the date. Otherwise I say make it an icebreaker. Lol she’ll have the filet mignon with a 9mm side :rofl::rofl::rofl: