Bringing up the subject of gun ownership with dating

How would you recommend bringing up the fact of owning firearms while dating? I did with my ex girlfriend when were together and she doesn’t want a relationship with me. It’s why we broke up. :cry:

I feel bad we did but I’m not willing too sacrifice giving up my personal security and safety just too stay with someone. I shouldn’t have too.


That’s a very interesting question. I suppose it’s like Religion, Ford or Chevy, Republican or Democrat. There are philosophical things that may be deal breakers. R and I agreed on things like guns, religion, politics and other stuff somewhere around the 3rd or 4th date. I’d hate to get too committed to someone and find out they’re vegan when a good ribeye and shrimp are one of my favorites.
The other thing is, what are the possibilities of moving to her side or she moving to your side? Probably pretty slim on some of the real important subjects. I would say it’s probably better to cordially part ways and start the search over.


I believe you dodged a bullet brother (sorry, couldn’t resist)
As we all know the World is a truly silly Place (Monty Python)
better to have loved and lost than to get married and find these
things out the hard way. I was in ‘security’ when I met my late wife.
I carried 24/7 (and still do). This was never an issue. We had our
differences but fortunately we were able to build something w/ compromise
and a growing mutual respect. before she accepted the ring we hashed out as
much as we could to find common ground and Build something incredibly solid.
I’m no expert in relationships, I’m selfish and self centered some of the time.
I Love my me/alone time: trigger time/Training and reading. and Protecting the INNOCENT.
That meant I traveled, and sacrificed to help battered Women, and the oppressed
in parts of the world I probably had NO business being in. She called me a White knight.
(No pun on my incredible Paleness!) :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:
She helped me when I was wounded, changed unbelievable nasty bandages and got me to
my (2) dozen or so operations and hundreds of hours of Phy.therapy and mental rebuilding.
She held me through my Ptsd/Anxiety episodes and nightmares she should have run from.
But she stuck. And when GOD needed another Warrior she accepted the job. I was there
for her through her Cancer and Kemo, accepted No stupid jobs that would take me away
from her and when it got bad I told her it was Ok to go home. She fought the good fight
but enough was enough. And she peacefully slipped away and saw GOD’s face. It is a smile
I will remember FOREVER! That my Brother is what it was all about for me. A partner, lover, friend, mentor, wife and WARRIOR! the devil has his hands full if he goes up against her (I did! :heart_eyes:)
I’m done. Good luck on your quest, I found mine, you go and find yours.
She’s out there waiting for you.

Peace Out.


Wait until she gets serious and take her duck hunting.
If she’ll slog through waist high cold water at zero dark 30 carrying a bag of decoys, and shoulder a 12 gauge that kicks something fierce just to be with you, she’s a keeper.

Don’t ask how I know this.

If not, you’re in better company with a good Labrador Retriever.

Again, don’t ask how I know this.

  1. If Hunting season is coming up, remark upon it enthusiastically and observe the reaction.
  2. Get a copy of Disney’s “Bambi”. When Bambi’s Mom gets shot, is the reaction “I love venison” or “Oh, my GOD. That’s terrible.” FYI: Even when I was young, I noticed something. Bambi’s mother was shot in the Spring. AS far as I know, no state has a legal Springtime hunting season. Poaching, on the other hand…

1st date, why prolong something. Find out if it’s worth it or not.


Lots of Women out there looking for a Good Man. I’m working on my third and (hopefully last) marriage. Three strikes and you’re out or third times the charm). And a trail of women in my wake. :sunglasses:


The usual answer I always get to this is…

Don’t tell your mom
Don’t tell your dad
Don’t tell your kid
and Don’t tell your wife
Don’t tell your coworkers
Or anybody you associate with
Concealed means concealed.

People think gun=bad

Hell had a discussion today with people and their conclusion is I want to be judge jury and executioner because I don’t want to shoot someone in the arm or the leg, only the A zone as the Editor of conceal carry magazine put it

“That fastest quickest way to stop the threat, is put a bullet or two into the central nervous system, either the brain or the spine, shut him off like a switch. If you can’t do that, aim for the center of mass, put as many holes as you can into the chest cavity, let the lungs fill up with blood, stop the heart, and stop the threat. It sounds kind of gruesome, sounds hardcore, but that is what you want to do. Somebody is doing some so egregious you need to stop them immediately, and that is all you’re trying to do in a self defense incident.”

Welcome to the lifestyle we all chose. Just remember this man, USCCA’s motto is Born to Protect.

Protect who?

You, your family, and your loved ones.

Your ex doesn’t want to be protected by you, she’s a liability to you and your future.

You’d think with the way woman are taught to be aware of their surroundings and how to be secure, that they would feel more secure with a man who takes one security seriously.

3rd wave feminism hit and now it’s the whole #METOO, men are trash, they’re all evil. Masculinity is toxic.

Now we’re left with a bunch of woman who feel they can’t be touched just because their a woman, and use it as a cop out. They’re not serious about their security, so when somebody violates them, its not their fault.

If you tell them right, they’re turning left,

Some people I think I’m a paranoid person who’s ready to shoot just because, and others understand that I have the ability to protect live, and give life saving care, and know who I really am, deep from the bottom of my heart.

I’d say find somebody the latter.


I would like too thank you all for replies here. I really appreciate it. I think in the future I’m going too bring it up early on when I start dating and start low key by saying something along the lines of “What’s your opinion on the whole gun debate over the 2nd amendment and people who legally own firearms for protection?”

That way I can find out how they react too the entire subject matter. If they say they think guns are bad and everybody should be disarmed, I know that I will have my answer that the girl isn’t for me. It isn’t the gun themselves that are bad. It’s the lowlifes who use them unethically and illegally that makes them look bad. That’s what the uneducated and ill informed will never understand. How can an inanimate object be blamed for the actions of a criminal? Alcohol itself does not cause drunk driving accidents. Irresponsibility and carelessness do.

I grew up around firearms my entire life and first and foremost I was taught safety and responsibility from a very young age. I’m really glad my dad did. I understand everybody has a right too their opinion but the way things are going these days people need too take their personal safety seriously.

It’s not enough too just have a cell phone call 911 and believe that only calling the cops will be enough too protect you. That’s not good enough. They can take up too 10 minutes just too respond too a call.


I’m not so sure there is a black and white answer here.

On the one hand you don’t want to waste a bunch of time on someone who will not respect your core values. But on the other hand there are so many millions of people in this country whose only knowledge of firearms and self defense comes from anti firearm propaganda spread by the anti self defense crowd and their main stream media conspirators.

If you take a media induced hoplophobe to the range in your pickup truck covered in black rifles matter and other pro 2A stickers for your first date you likely aren’t going to get a second one. But if a firearm resistant person has a chance to get to know you and realizes you are a reasonable person in most aspects of life there is a decent chance they will come to see your position on self defense isn’t so unreasonable either.

It’s been a long time since I dated someone new but it seems to be a total crapshoot to me. It takes perseverance, faith and a lot of dumb luck. Sometimes people seem to have everything in common but things fall apart quickly. Other times people can seem to be polar opposites but end up building a life long relationship together.


I’ll share the short version, but my wife and I met in an environment that was very idealogically laden. We knew each other as friends for several years before we ever went on a date. So we were on the same page with most issues before they ever even came up.

After we got married the personal firearm journey kind of grew in us together.

Wishing you the best in your journey.


When I met my, then, future wife, I was not a firearm owner, so that question was not even broached, though I lived in NYS, so handguns were pretty much verboten for the commoners, and I was not and am not a hunter. She was more idealogical than I, but her milieu was far different than mine. I was a rural boy and she was a suburbanite. Unlike, I suspect many, I did broach many topics after we had been together for a few months and it was clear things were serious, such as marriage, children, if any, financial goals, spending habits, etc., all of the issues that typically lead to strife. I was and am quite forth-right.

I learned a lot from the bs my friends went through with girls that were self-centered and was not going to waste my time playing games. I told her right from the beginning, if she plays games with me, I am gone. She did f- with me once after we had been together a couple of months, but I relented and gave her another chance.

We have been married for over 34 years now. She does not like firearms, but does not mind my having them. She even went to the range with me once, even though she does not like firearms. A hoplophobe that went to a range? She shot a mag of .22LR and determined she still did not like firearms. That takes a huge amount of courage. I have a huge amount of respect for her.


Have you got married yet or are you still waiting to find her? :rofl:


At the time I met the woman that would become my wife (future wife), I was not a firearm owner. I lived in NYS, was not a hunter, therefore, did not own any firearms, though my father owned shotguns and rifles. Handguns were pretty much not something a commoner owned where I lived, unless you were a LEO.


Ask to take her to a gun range.

Her response would tell you a lot about where you’re headed in your budding relationship.


Multiple choice questioner.

  1. Do you…
    A) believe hunting is not necessary
    B) think that guns are the devils firecrackers

That would not be my first question. Many people are ignorant of the issues, and only know the narrative most often heard - the “gun control” version, not reality. If the person is rational, slowly broaching the topic so facts can be heard and listened to, is the better method.

My wife is a hoplophobe, and likely would not have be amenable to my belief in our right to keep and bear arms if I had just thrust it upon her. However, my talking to her in a way that was condusive to discussion, and her being willing to discuss the topic, made the issue one that we could talk about without either of us getting emotions in the way.

She relented on my point about unless she shot a firearm, she would not understand, as I had taught many that had never been around firearms before and left smiling and happy. She then agreed to go to the range with me to experience it first-hand. I can say I don’t know anyone else that would have that much courage. Being afraid of firearms and not liking the idea of firing them, she still went with me to the range to get the experience. Her reason after firing a mag of .22LR, was that she did not like the loud noise.

Partly, I guess why she went, was her respect for me and her love of me, but she confronted her fear full-face. Not many would do that.


My experience was, I met my wife after the military. So she knew I was comfortable with firearms and she has been my only for the past 33 years. I couldn’t carry on my campus and it was the only home I had. I kept a Spas 12, and an AK-47, in a storage building and a .45 in the trunk of my car. When I moved off campus into an apartment with her, it was just understood. I don’t really deserve my wife, she is better than me in every way that matters. She just see’s the world differently, and see’s the best in/and of people. The same with my daughter. It’s my duty and my job to try and make sure nothing changes their world views.

Many years later, she became a Concealed Carrier, and a few years later my daughter became a Concealed Carrier.

But I think addressing important foundational beliefs is critical. So, my advice, is when you feel your relationship is moving from casual to serious. That’s the time to talk about those foundational beliefs.



And that is one of the secrets.

23 years for my wife and I.


I covered firearms and wallpaper.