My significant other, her parents are anti guns, especially her dad.
When I took Nadia on our second date it was to the gun range and was her first time shooting and I taught her the fundamentals shooting a gun. I start off on a .22 handgun and she slowly built her way up to my handgun which is a Springfield xdm 9mm full size. And now that Springfield is next to her on the bedside night table. She loves that gun
And about a year ago so she finally shot my AR-15. She didnāt mind it but itās not something she will be doing on a daily basis when we go to the range. Iām just pleased that she finally fired my AR-15. But her parents are worried that one day Iām going to snap and go on a rampage and hurt their daughter. Seriously I canāt make this up.
Couple days ago Nadia and myself did a mini gun photoshoot of ourselves. She posted a few photos on her wall and her parents went completely nuts. Her mother posted: donāt make your boyfriend become someone youāre not!
My girlfriend overcame her fear of guns and if she comes to the range with me thatās great if she doesnāt thatās fine. I donāt pressure her.
Her parents are the typical liberals in a sense that no one should own a gun but only law enforcement. Her father truly cannot comprehend that guns have saved lives by self-defense. He would say, āwhy why do they need a gun in the first place? Thats what cops are for.ā
Well my future in-laws will have to deal with the fact that my significant other likes guns.
Libs always think they live in a Utopian Zip Code and nothing bad is ever going to happen to them. Her parents donāt live in the real world. Remember that besides you are probably never going to be deemed by the parents as being good enough for their daughter. Iām suggesting that you just do your own thing and donāt tell her parents especially the mother what youāre doing. In other words live your own lives. Itās probably not the guns, if you didnāt have guns she is going to find something else about you to pick on. āDonāt make your boyfriend make you become somebody you are notā says everything about the mother
I wanted to add something here Roberto, if youāre serious about this girl I would have your girlfriend set up something for all four of you so they get to know you better so the mother gets a better feeling of who you are as a person and potential son-in-law. The mother is the one that you have to make happy and give her a level of confidence in you. The father will take the side of the mother so who you want to make happy and trust in you is the mother Roberto
Donāt let your girlfriendā's parents make either of you something youāre not. What is the point of each of us if we never discover things for ourselves?
Roberto, Iām right there with you, just a couple decades older though. My in-laws are huge anti-gunners. They either donāt understand or choose to ignore the existence of the Second Amendment, or the fact that law enforcement officers are, in reality, second responders.
I take great peace in doing the right thing. It is my right, indeed my duty, to defend their daughter and grandchildren. I still respect and love them, but I could care less what they think. Their daughter, my wife, supports me 100% in this position.
Even though my wife doesnāt enjoy shooting, and refuses to carry, she can still safely use all of my firearms. Do your thing brother.
My mom was hyper liberal when I was growing up, and terrified of guns. My dads a military guy, but in the house, mom ruled.
Iāve made a lot of choices that sent my mom off the deep end, including my first husband, and our choice to have firearms. It makes for rocky relationships with the parents and if you are not her parents picture of āidealā, your relationship with her had best be rock-solid. Just because sheās choosing you over them (as she should) it doesnāt make that conflict meaningless.
I love that shes taking charge of who she is becoming. and not letting her parents decide for her. I love that youāre supporting her, not pushing her.
The best strategy for me has been to do my own thing. I dont bring that discussion to my mom. I dont hide it, but I try not to put it under her nose. If it comes up, my best solution has been to say āmom, this is my life and my choice. If youād like to listen, Iāll explain why.ā For years sheād just get upset and try to change me without ever listeningā¦ and as soon as that started Iād say āI love you mom, got to go.ā And hang up.
Took years, but she learned if she wanted to have a conversation with me, she had to accept I am my own person, and not try to control or guilt or argue me out of what are my good choices for me. I still dont put it under her nose, and she has on occasion actually listened.
I wish you two the best in finding a path through this. BTW the two of you are adorable together
Hey Brad, I feel your pain. One thing to try is take a copy of the CCmagazine to the parent. Ask them if they would read a section of the magazine with an open mind. Show them the section āTrue Storiesā. If that doesnāt ādent their antigun armorā go online and find facts put out by the CDC and FBI as to the number of homicides and the means in which they were committed (hammer, knife, can opener, etc.). You could throw in the fact that there are over 100 million gun owners in the US with nearly 400 million guns and TRILLIONS of rounds. If āWEā were a problem, theyād know it by now.
Another point, of all the āmass shooterā not one has been a member of the NRA, GOA, USCCA, or any other Gun Group. So far, they have been mental patients that should have been, but because of the lack of law, banned from owning a gun.
One last thought. Invite the parents to go shooting. Be persistent but not pushy.
The funky part is that itās really the dad take a be a huge pain. A couple of months ago Nadia got really sick with a stomach bug and her mother came down to help out for a few days.
One night while Nadia is resting her mother and I were talking about guns. She wanted to know where the guns were at because she felt uncomfortable. I told her hold on Iāll be right back so I left the living room and went to my bedroom, went to my night table and opened up my safe to take out one of my guns, I unloaded it, and took out the bullet from the chamber to make sure the gun was cold. Put the gun back in the holster and I walked out to the living room to present the gun to her mother.
I pulled a gun out of the holster and demonstrated to her that it was cold. Then I handed it to her and I was actually shocked that she actually held the gun, of course I had to tell her how to hold it properly.
Now if it was her father, completely different. I donāt think he would even step foot our place because of my guns.
The father has rules on me when we go up to visit them.
In no particular order:
Ā° no guns allowed- okay fine I can respect that one not everybody is comfortable so I leave my gun and my portable safe in the car
Ā° no swearing of any kind-I $#!Š you not
Ā° no alcohol- damn
Ā° everything is politically correct- I absolutely hate political correctness
I donāt love or respect themā¦ I tolerate them nicely if that makes any sense.
Nadia does not carry him thatās fine but I gave her a pepper spray for a present during our first year together and even that caused some heat from her parents.
Ouch sorry that you had to go through that with your mom.
I think her parents are having a hard time seeing that their baby is in her mid-20s and is becoming her own person. They donāt like the fact that I introduced her to guns and when we go out for dinner we have a drink.
I canāt even bring in any magazine readings regarding guns into their condo. Her dad forbids anything regarding guns into the condo.
There is a fantastic Gun Range in Orlando called Shooters World and Iāve said to them, āyouāre more than welcome to join me.ā Her parents declined the invite.
When we we visit them and later when we want to do our thing, her parents will ask about our plans for that day. I donāt shy away from it I will say well Iām taking a stop over at Shooterās World.
Her dad will ask a question why do you have to go there. And my response is that theyāre having a sale on 9mm. Heāll then ask this question why do you need 9mm? And of course I respond by saying that I need target practice and for steel shooting.
Again he just asked more questions and I think heās testing me or waiting for me to snap at him, but i keep it polite.
@Roberto. Well young fellow if youāre serious about this girl then you know what you have to do; and not do as well. The father is an unusual guy, maybe in years to come he may come around but for now and your near future just leave the gun thing out of the mix if you are serious about this girl, just donāt talk about anything firearms. Liberal or not liberal he sounds odd. In contrast back in the 1950ās my father bought me my first single shot.22 cal. Rifle when I was 11 years old. Good luck to you and your girlfriend with whatever is down the road for you both my community friend. In reverse Donāt let him change who you are if you stay with the girl because if you do you will find yourself resentful of the father. Better to bailout when you have less everything invested than marriage, kids, and responsibilities. So good luck to both you and your girlfriend whatever life has in store for you both.
Never been in that situation exactly but I had situations (back in my single days) where there were āphilosophicalā differences between myself & the young ladyās parents. I found that all you can do is be yourself. Unapologetically. You do what you do to protect yourself & you have introduced their daughter to the empowerment of self-defense & the rejection of victim mentality. Hang in there young man!
Thanks for the words. And yes she and I are very serious and weāre now at the point or I should say she is at Point at times but she just rolled her eyes and shakes her head at her dad.
and yeah the last time we went to see them in Orlando guns was not discussed. But for that matter I donāt think I really talked that much to her dad in general which I donāt really mind
Iāve read all the replies, some advise good, some bad, in my opinion of course. What I can tell you from experience, donāt be controlled. If Mom and Dad are initiating the firearm discussion, they are trying to control you. They really donāt care what you have to say about your Bill of Rights. They are only wanting to instigate conflict and make their daughter choose. Sounds like they will lose their daughter.
When I was your age, people could talk anything political and still have beer together. Those days are gone. Itās all about winning now.
Case in point: my STEP son in law (devout socialist) told, not asked, my wife to tell me and my friends (all military) to not talk about firearms (okā¦and other stuff) in his, his wifeās (my wifeās daughter obviously), and his childrenās presence anymore. Iām laughing as I type this by the way!
This occurred in my wifeās and my home after returning from Afghanistan. It was a BBQ/ beer fest for my platoon and family. Need I say more.
Letās just say he would have been better off coming directly to me. My wife went somewhere between Eddy Murphy and Andrew Dice Clay on him. Hint: neither one or my wife are politically correct. Thank God!
Just win brother. Concentrate on loving your woman. Ignore all the noise. Things will become very clear for you. They certainly have for me.
One thing that Nadia and I discussed recently is that whenever we drive up to and I know, which is about three hours, maybe just get a hotel and avoid the headaches.
Also I found out that the dad does not want to come down to see us because heās afraid of the gun to the house.
Sounds familiar. Heās not afraid of the gun. Heās afraid his daughter has aligned herself with you and the Bill of Rights. She is thinking for herself and he canāt deal with it. Itās all about control.
I always hear the phraseā¦you can choose your friends, but you canāt choose your family. Well, Iām here to tell youā¦you absolutely can choose who your family is. In actuality, they make that decision for you.
