When I first started carrying, my mom wasn’t exactly excited about it. She’s been around hunting all of her life, but her little girl carrying a gun wasn’t her idea of “safety.” So I would respect her wishes and not carry in her house. Which resulted in my trying to host all of the holidays
Since then, I’ve gotten a lot of training and become a trainer. Mom loves showing me off to her brothers - and shooting handguns better than they do at the range.
She’s having Thanksgiving this year and I’ll be carrying.
What would you do if your loved ones are hosting a holiday get together and they don’t want you to carry?
If I HAD to attend I would secure my weapon in the car outside and not carry while in their home.
I wouldn’t bring the issue up, during the visit/dinner (unless they did) but I would engage them politely in discussion about it prior to or after the event to better understand their position and so they might be able to better understand mine.
And honestly if they were pressing that issue I probably would not attend at all because I’m sure there would be other drama especially over politics and I can only be polite and nod to a point (I would have to excuse myself to go outside for a smoke…and I don’t smoke). If I did attend this would be the last year (absent any extenuating circumstances). If asked why, response would be “because I don’t feel welcome in your home.”
@JamesR Totally agree - They make the rules in their house. If I choose to go I accept their rules. I selected to lock it in the car, which is kinda the same as not carry at all.
Personally, my immediate family are all good with it and carry themselves. For anyone extended beyond them, I don’t discuss it. A “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy if you will. I always carry concealed so it doesn’t really come up. If I were to be found out somehow and the person who’s house I’m at doesn’t want me to carry, I’d respect their wishes and leave.
My house, my rules. Dads house, where do you think the ideas behind my rules originated? We usually talk hunting, new handguns, and politics after desert. That weeds out the anti-2A attendees.
However, only certain members of my wife’s family know that I carry. None of my own family knows, save my wife, daughter and son-in-law. Were my family to learn, I would be concerned about getting red-flagged. Yeah, we’re estranged (I can’t readily think of a word beyond that, or I would use it…).
I keep that information very close to the vest. I would say there are fewer than 10 people who know I carry. Well, know and can truly identify me.
I learned my lesson at the mothers day this past year…
The sad thing is…this side of the family where I went for mothers day is actually the side where I learned everything about fire-arms from. James, my grandfather is with the Lord, but he and I would go to the range all the time, gun shows, and much much more…
However, I’ve never seen an upset family like I did this past year…
Let it be known…we still are not speaking. All over my right to carry…
My story is similar. I learned how to shoot from my father. He passed away in 2007 and, as the only one even remotely interested in firearms, I inherited everything. However, it’s one thing to own, it’s another to carry - which is why most of us are here, I think.
Is this why they hate me concerning firearms? Maybe?
His passing was in 2010 and everything was fine until this past year…
The sad things is like some we know in political parties in the U.S.A. is they had to bring dirt in his past to discredit him that I could have lived and died without knowing myself.
Their house, their rules. I would lock my weapon in the car before entering and not mention it. I would politely declined to engage in any 2A related conversations, begging off on the premise that the event is to celebrate family and the holiday and that this isn’t the time or place for such. If pressed I would go outside for a smoke or three. Enough pressure would result in a sudden and compelling reason to leave early.
Family dynamics are an interesting thing… my mom has, and always has had, issues with understanding appropriate boundaries. Part of why I left home at 15.
The truce we’ve come to so that we can have any kind of relationship at all is that I am going to make my own decisions. She can fret over them or accept them, but for the last 45 years, I am responsible for my own boundaries. I carry. If she’s hosting, I’ll still carry. If she wants to interact with me, it’s pretty darn likely I’ll be carrying. My house, her house, no house. Yep, carrying. If she were to put her foot down, I’d have to excuse myself from attending, and I’d be 100% ok with doing that if needed.
My siblings get it. Some are firearms types, some are not, but there is a level of respect among us that we are comfortable with each others’ differences, and respect each others competencies. Not an issue with them. They may not all choose to carry themselves, but those that don’t give the nod to my doing what I’m willing to take responsibly and seriously. And that’s carry.
