The correct answer is “Survive!”
7 Likes
Preferably not in prison.
2 Likes
De escalate as best possible in the affirmative. How?
I maintain a complete mock-up of my wallet including a color, yet defaced ( to protect the innocent ) drivers license.
Complete with cash, about eight bucks.
Toss it to the left or in the opposite direction of my vehicle door. Actually it will always be to the left as my sidearm is on my right!
Keys are in my hand gripping a Surefire crenellated sharpened bezel. I never leave an establishment without this firmly held in my hand.
Believe it or not I’ve been allowed to fly and enter courthouses.
At a quick glance and his adrenaline pumping, he’ll never know what hit him as it gives me time to escape, draw down or put him down. His choice!
This kinda crap comes in the mail weekly, it’s all cardboard fakes!
8 Likes
I have a coworker who was confronted with this situation at a gas station.
Still had the happy tags on his new F-150 putting his second tank of gas in it, dude wanders up and asks for some change.
Coworker simply said he doesn’t carry cash and walked inside the store.
As he came back out to his truck, dude had a friend with him now and came back at my coworker saying that he knew he had some money he could spare.
Coworker lifted his shirt and told them he didn’t have anything they actually wanted while indexing the grip of his pistol.
They walked away, he drove away,
I’d like to think I’d handle things the same way, no need for sots fired, but also don’t want to allow the perp to get too close.
8 Likes
I’ve recently picked up a couple of high lumen, high candela flashlights and have been doing a decent job of making myself carry one at all times. My thinking is that, in addition to providing much needed illumination for my aging eyes during ordinary tasks or for target ID/acquisition, the light would be great for just such a situation. I can legally direct the beam into the thug’s eyes which should blind and/or disorient him long enough for me to make it to my truck, cover, barrier, etc.
8 Likes
If someone approaches me aggressively, demanding money and shouting, my immediate response will be to move away from the situation. If escape isn’t an option and the person is coming from behind, I will act quickly to turn and face the threat. As a woman, I am prepared to reach for my purse to grab my pepper spray for self-defense, particularly at night when I may not know if the person is armed. It’s crucial to respond decisively to ensure my safety. I welcome any feedback on this approach.
8 Likes
Great!
My only comment is, the way I taught my daughter, she’s already holding the pepper spray as she approaches her car. She researched better than I did—she has a taser too.
Hope he called 911 too.
A proverb says a soft answer turns away wrath.
Not sure how I could deescalate in the scenario presented where the perp is aggressively asking for money.
7 Likes
That is a great question. I think the first thing one has to do is resist the temptation to escalate. This being a hypothetical situation it makes it more difficult to visualize.
4 Likes
Not to the best of my knowledge, and while it would probably have been a good idea, the gun never cleared leather, no shots were fired. Just a live and let live no harm no foul situation. 
I have the sheriff and at least my home city police (non emergency both) in my contacts, so if I have to flash iron to make them leave, but not having to shoot them, I might call one of those numbers and report the attempted robbery…
911 they have to respond to, all I can see happening there would be a headache for me.
5 Likes
A hammerless DA revolver can be fired from inside your purse.
You’ll be point shooting (and destroying your purse and probably some of its contents)
It’s an option though.
6 Likes
I have while pumping gas early morning. From a 100 yards I caught the look in the eyes, the hunched Neanderthal crouch coming right at me.
I was patient, sizing things up, my escape, which was not possible as the pump was still in the tank keys in my pocket reaching for my wallet. Never took eyes off. He got within 15 yards, I sweep my Hawaiian shirt
( no worries, natural look for my job and area ) with my right hand approaching my grip and firming up my stance.
On a dime he pivots to the bus stop and we’re both on our merry way.
No words were spoken, then again none were needed!
Be polite, be professional, have a plan to kill everyone you meet!
It all comes down to mindset and what you think you, let me rephrase, what you know you can handle.
Coming at me with intent, in my case anything is a disparity of force!
I have age on my side! Wisdom and a quick draw. Normally I’m patient when things go wrong! Must be that slow is smooth thing!
Usually a mellow composure sets “them” off guard as opposed the fear thing. They are animals and can see and sense the fear. It excites them.
Now if they are coming at me like the “Ghost and the Darkness” well all bets are off.
This is what they look like in the field, does he look like he’s interested in a snickers bar 
7 Likes
R has one, when she reaches into her purse she can grab her wallet or she can point and shoot. LCR is a good choice.
6 Likes
I heard a close proximity of that in a training class a while back. “Be charming. Be professional. Have a plan to kill everyone standing in your way during your exfiltration, or infiltration, as the situation warrants.”
Slow is smooth. Smooth is fast.
I agree with this whole heartedly. The extra seconds required to get into your purse during a stressful encounter could be the difference between success and failure. That is why I taught my daughter to have that Hello Kitty key ring in her hand, fingers through the eyes, when she exits the building.
My Wife has no need for the Hello Kitty key ring or pepper spray, but she has them. She also has her EDC in her purse as a back-up. She has them but does not need them. She has ME. We have only one vehicle and she is at home when I am at work. When the weekend hits, we are all over the county. I get her out of the house and fill those two days with as much as I can before her fibromyalgia says it’s time to go home.
I always open her door and assist her getting out of the truck. I have her arm tucked in mine as we walk into where we are going. It is the same coming out. I open her door and assist her getting in the truck. I close the door and make sure she locks it before I leave her side.
I am her veteran knight escorting his Queen. Nobody has ever dared mess with her with me at her side. Interestingly enough, I get messed with a whole lot less when she is at my side.
Don’t know why that is.
7 Likes
Chivalry never died for our generation ! I am quite the same.
This is me opening the car door for my wife.
6 Likes
Since the day I started carrying and was married my wife knew to walk on my right side. Of course I’m left handed. She is very situation aware and over the last few years she has really improved All her actions. Always asks where I want to sit when we go out to eat. Never questions where I park. Understands my 1 or 2 days a week at the range. Reckon I’m lucky.
8 Likes
You are indeed lucky, Sir.
I have seen too many Gunners, men and women, who have spouses who do not understand the need for what we do to keep them safe.
8 Likes
She’s a keeper 
4 Likes
In this vid, Fairfax, VA, April 2025, quite a different scenario, but it reminds me of situations where it is so intense, that de-escalation itself might not solve a dangerous situation.
Although it still reminds me that there are other situations where deescalation can help. The driver in this story appeared so agitated, obviously had a deep psychological disturbance, that even deescalation techniques could only go so far.
As civilians, sometimes we have the luxury of backing off, and not “fueling the fire”. But if we were ever cornered, were too brave or made the mistake of sticking around, in other less intense situations, it does bring to mind, learning strategies to help someone become more calm.
7 Likes
That was suicide by cop.
I did a quick search about him, he did help our guys in Afghanistan, I didn’t see anything about family here in the states or employment….
I did find this though
Officers attempted to pull over Wali in 2018, but he didn’t stop initially, later stopping at a shopping center, police said. He was charged with felony speed to elude, resisting arrest and running a red light. His concealed carry permit was suspended following that incident.
IMHO that guy was a ticking time bomb, I’m just glad he only got himself room temp.
5 Likes