My wife & I were parked, per store staff directions, in front of our local Best Buy waiting for a small fridge to be loaded in my Jeep.
She wasn’t paying close enough attention and when a civilian knocked hard on her passenger window twice, whilst I was evaluating WTF he was up to, she lowered her window cause she presumed it was store staff.
This dude proceeds to start cursing etc., about where we were parked, bc apparently the additional 6’ of walking to get around was too much to bear.
Short story, with her grabbing on trying to prevent my getting out of car, dude had walked to his vehicles area in the lot.
I honestly don’t remember wat I said, but I was clear, based on his dress and how he didn’t carry himself he was unarmed, which is y when he reached t for his crotch to spit some more rude language I didn’t mistake it as reaching for a gun….
Store staff spoke to my wife to ensure all was well, & since there was no threat all I did was issue some disdain verbally.
After the fact OTP that evening, wife’s twin asked y I didn’t just draw while he was at the window cursing.
Wife was between us
No imminent threat present
Although id very much liked to have pummeled this guy, we who carry must live by a higher standard….
Wat I can say is, where me & my kin are from, u talk to their woman like that u better expect lead to fly.
I thank God I knew better and had my wits about me enough AND exercised restraint. Had this dude presented a tgreat, different and bad ending……
The one saving grace as I see it was I could clearly see this clown was unarmed else I may have responded differently.
You know I used to think that armed society is a polite society. Then I moved to South of Florida, and oh boy, there are many folks who are unwell in the head, use substances, and suffer from NYC manners. Good job keeping your cool. You wont do any favors to your wife by creating legal or medical trouble for yourself.
Glad your spouse and you are OK. Cooler heads prevailed. I learn from everyone’s stories.
It’s not my place to comment, I was not there, it was not me that it happened to.
For convo’s sake.
You said it first “Could have went really bad”. But major kudos to you, as you helped it not to.
From what you wrote, you and your partner did nothing ill toward that man. But I’m also glad you didn’t draw. It turned out you didn’t have to. You had pretty good situational awareness, which I need to personally work on.
Words, Vs. a physical harm, big difference of course, but perhaps worth highlighting.
One could ask the store manager if they recorded it on CCTV vid. They might even have the identity of that person, make/model of his car, and LP #; from the cam or his computerized purchase receipt. They can flag him or document him with their security department and place him on their watch list. If that man continues his ways, he’s gonna get into a jam eventually. Hope he learns otherwise.
Your restraint protected you from getting into legal trouble, financial trouble, or worse. Word to the wise, not to roll down a window, until one is 100% certain that it’s a store employee, or a friendly.
Your story’s also interesting in that may experience something similar in the busy work and home life styles many of us keep, so thanks for sharing.
@Smiddy I know how you feel, you did good keeping it together, never lower your standards to their level, but always be alert and ready to respond quickly especially when these type of SCUMBAGS go to their vehicle in case they retrieve a weapon, the way this type of generation is acting these days, they don’t care, so older good folks need to be extra careful when getting into a tangle with these certain age groups.
As responsible firearm owners and carriers we are stuck with the duty of excess politeness even when confronted by those who don’t deserve it. Props for keeping your cool!
The only constructive criticism I might give is that, at least in my case my wife has many strengths but situational awareness is not one of them. I assume that she won’t see trouble coming and do my best to keep a 360* lookout around both of us.
Lessons Learned. With this type of event experienced, it’s time for everyone to keep heads on a swivel ALWAYS, stay ALERT, SITUATIONAL AWARENESS everywhere we are in our daily lives, in our daily travels, no matter where we are because this is the kind of life we’re going to have to get used to living. People out there seem to be becoming more loose, more dangerous, more brave, more daring to do what ever it takes to accomplish whatever they set out to do and that goes for both males and females, stealing vehicles, shoplifting, carjacking, shootings, robbing etc…,and it’s everywhere across the country. What’s it going to take to RESTORE LAW AND ORDER!
I’ve now made it clear to my wife that regardless of where we are, wat we’re doing, she doesn’t roll down window & sure as hell doesn’t open the door.
In the future, in similar situations, I’ll wait outside the vehicle for store staff. Anyone like that clown has an issue, they can determine by looking at this 6’2”, 250lbs of country boy if they wanna be smart Alec’s or speak rudely to my wife. It was clear the person didn’t want to engage after seeing her having no luck trying to physically keep me in the car. I had zero intent of an altercation but wanted to be on my feet until he was clear so that if needed I could respond quickly.
Looking back at this, I gotta think this guy was off his meds or something. Wasn’t too bright wat he did.
The thing I think kept me from overreacting was seeing him walking to her window to knock & seeing a crappy look on his face. Could tell some ahole behavior was coming. Only regret is not getting outta my Jeep faster. I have to think doing so woulda dispelled all his interest in being such a jerk.
The suggestion about camera footage I think is a great idea. I may check on that tmw.
My only recommendation/point of hesitation there would be, better to not get out of the car, I think. You both in your car, lock the doors, if needed, simply drive away.
I could see it bein construed or argued that, by getting out of the car instead of disengaging, you were looking for a confrontation, or looking for a fight. Avoidance and de-escalation whenever possible, being in a car with other person on foot, might be wise to just drive off, call the store, return when that individual is no longer present.
Tough call to stay in the car, or out of the car. There is no way to know for sure.
You surely needed something between a harsh word and a gun like OC spray.
It could help you disengage and he could live another day.
And, when seconds count, make sure your Wife doesn’t slow you up.
Was there an option to park further out of the way but still up front? And thereby avoiding this whole situation because foul mouth homeslice wouldn’t have been “inconvenienced”??
I’ve worked retail before and it always amazed me the people who think that just cause the store staff said to pull up front that that meant it was ok to be smack dab in the crosswalk of the only entrance and exit (not saying you did this. I wasn’t there!).
I’ve had this happen to me. And it is irritating. But being a rational sane person I just shake my head and move on with my life. But the crazies out there… that’s what I’m concerned about.
I parked where I was directed to park.
The manager who witnessed this guy was very displeased with his behavior, saying “come on we’re talking about maybe 5 steps.”
Sure I could’ve started my Jeep & drive off - without my merchandise having been loaded. I don’t see that as having been an ok option. Why on earth would I roll off without my stuff cause some pissy old dude wants to be a horses rump? Naw.
As for getting out of the car, I feel it more tactically sound in case such a person decided to pull a gun themselves, unlikely as that really should be in such a situation.
As I said, I’ll be outta the car by the open trunk hatch next time and anyone having an issue can then address me vs my little 5’5” wife. Can’t say I’m surprised a male nowadays misspoke to a lady, but that’s not ok. If I buy an item that needs loaded, am directed to park “there in front of those doors,” and I wait by the trunk for the stuff, I’m not looking for a fight, I’m looking to get my stuff and be in the best position if anyone desires to be rude - they can be rude to me. I can/will merely apologize for any inconvenience, explain I was told by staff to wait right there, and advise them to direct any complaints to staff. At that point, it’s their call whether to get stupid or not. I’ll not cower anywhere while awaiting an item I paid for to be loaded. For that matter, I will not cower, nor will I tolerate anyone being rude to my wife.
All that said, I ain’t the type who tries to project a machisimo image. But I certainly don’t project “easy victim” or “you’ll be fine if you get in my face” image either. ppl really should think before behaving like this guy did. Had this been 25 years ago AND if I’d been unarmed, I’d still be beating old boy into the pavement for speaking to my woman like that. So I’m just thankful to God I’ve matured/mellowed. But saying or doing anything inappropriate to her remains one of the most hazardous things on Gods green earth one can choose to do. “We don’t take kindly to that….” etc et al ad infinitum
I kind of think the above statement is a machismo thing (as is the concluding statement I did not quote). When you can avoid the confrontation with the person of that attitude, it’s best and most tactically sound to avoid it. Even if they were going to pull a gun, are you really sure that your wife sitting there stuck in place in the motionless passenger seat 1 foot in front of him is safer than if you had been driving her and the car away? Are you equally sure that if you were standing there on the other side of the vehicle after opening the door and stepping out, that you’d be a more difficult to target to hit than if you had been driving away?
I can see an anti self defense prosecutor try to go this route to pad his conviction stats. I carry pepper gel for the dogs, drunks, drugged and mentally unstable people who may try to hurt me or my family but in that moment I believe I have a very good chance of stopping them without applying deadly force.
I carry the pepper gel because shooting someone is the very last thing I want to do. It gives me an option in boarder line situations. If I pull my gun it’s because I firmly believe I have no other choice to protect myself or my family.
“Having BOTH OC spray and a gun on you opens you to legal danger, starting with “The accused is a wannabe cop…” and downhill from there.”
Now that’s just crazy talk - The last thing I want to do is kill someone.
If someone is just being physical or a aggressive dog, and can be handled with OC, great.
I don’t want my only option to be to kill.
I am not a lawyer, but I have heard lawyers discussing exactly this subject. Do not dismiss it as crazy talk. The more complicated the situation, the more chance a crafty DA has to get the result he wants.
I would use the word sleazy when dealing with someone who manipulates the facts in pursuit of convictions over justice. I do think it is a very valid concern though. But the same lawyerly arguments can be used against getting martial arts training. Why didn’t you use your karate chop instead of your gun? Or getting firearms training. Why are you training to shoot people more effectively? Or simply carrying your firearm alone. Why didn’t you carry a less lethal option so you didn’t have to shoot this fine upstanding car jacker?
If we base all our self defense preparations on what anti self defense lawyers will use against us we will all be walking around with T-shirt’s saying “I’m an unarmed pacifist please be gentle when you rob, rape or kill me”