My wife told me she wanted to get her CCDW the other day. Being the typical guy, I said great I’ll train you. I used to be a prison guard and have a # of yrs of their training under my belt. I also have a few RR ties set up as a backstop that overlooks our neighbor’s field that cattle come and go out of at their own liking. She’s afraid she’ll hit one. I told her we’ll wait until they are in another field but that wasn’t good enough. To make a long story short, I found a range with a woman’s only class that she said would be perfect. I get this type of reaction from her all the time and it’s frustrating. Then she said she wouldn’t carry it all the time. Don’t know how I kept my mouth shut. Since she’s paying, I’ll let it go as best I can.
@William191 I learned a long time ago that you can teach your children but not your wife, mebby your girlfriend, but not your wife. You can teach other people’s wives and husbands but out of the gate NEVER train your spouse. Once they are competent and comfortable then all is well, cool and Scooby with the gang. Before that NOPE. Throw money at her lessons and then go shoot together. Chances are you will have a hard time keeping up with her.
Good call on the Women’s only class, let her learn at her own pace. Men are from Mars and Woman are from Venus.
Correct. Let another gal teach her. She’s not going to listen to you, don’t care how good you are, how smart, how well you teach others. She may love you to the moon & back but she will not take any advice from you. Lol
what a lack of trust in your wives, gentlemen…
But seriously…you are all right… wife always knows better…
Let her learn with her own pace and take lessons with Instructor.
My wife was the same way. We took a basic handgun course and now she is more confident.
My wifes pace is so slow, she still won’t even touch one.
It’s taken 34 yrs for her to come around to get to this point.
DON’T TRAIN YOUR WIFE. You can give advice or make suggestions, maybe, but let someone who isn’t invested in the relationship do the “training.”
Not meaning to be insulting (seriously) when I say, this was your first mistake. I feel your struggle.
My wife is an avid and accomplished shooter and a force to be reckoned with. It took quite a while for her to reach that state.
She now teaches other women to shoot and is good at it because she still vividly remembers her experiences learning to shoot as “an outsider.” After seeing what I’ve seen for the past decade or so, I have come to the unapologetic conclusion that the biggest barriers to women shooting are men and a lack of lots of other women shooters.
Get her into a woman-taught women’s gun class (let her come to that decision on her own) and let her meet other women shooters and then encourage her to regularly go to the range with her woman-shooter friends. You might be amazed at what happens.
I’m happy my wife can step in and be my protector if need be. I pity the fool who would be naive enough to test out her marksmanship and open-hand skills…
Been training my wife for months now with no repercussions. She says she is more calm with me, I teach her just as any other student. We were just at the range this morning, she was trying a few other company makes, rentals. Turns out she said the one she owns handled better and was more comfortable in her hand.
There’s one thing I never say to her, the word NO. If advice is asked for I ask questions specifically about what she wants advice on and most times she can answer her own advice queries.
WORKS FINE FOR ME.
Most have already covered it. Let someone else train your spouse. Once they are more comfortable, then you can enjoy the sport together or work through some of the other carry concerns (which will probably go away once they are more comfortable).
99 times out of 100 training your wife will go badly for one or both of you. And all 99 of them thought they were the 1.
All being said, I agree let someone else do the initial training. You can interject your experience while practicing together. Bottom line is she get trained and a formal class will likely be the best potion. Heck, I have had a CCW for over 45 years and although not required I like to go through a class every few years “just because”. I learn something new every time, whether it be a new law or something old just explained in a new way.
I must not be a typical guy. I had the owner’s wife of the gun shop I go to train her. I see a lot of husbands coaching wives; bowling; softball; golf it never goes well. We, husbands, tend to overcoach and I did not want to be that guy. The lady taught my wife the basics and now my wife asks me about her form, techniques etc. I don’t coach until she askes for help. I must admit sometimes it is very painful to keep my mouth shut but she is learning her way. Learning very well I might add. She has taken a ladies only course on pistols and now is helping her friends learn to shoot. She likes to shop for pistols and when she finds one she likes; well, she buys it. Then decides how and where it will be used. A lot like me. She does practice her 2A right everyday. Needless to say I am very proud of her. Growing up in a city and never shooting a gun of any kind until she met me. She has come along way and improving every week.
Sounds like you have a winner. Let her go at her own pace. Be there for her when she asks. Keep the peace and dont make it a competition.
Too late As I mentioned in another post my wife and play battleship or pool while we practice strong hand off hand or other skills. Loser buys at winner’s choice restaurant. Good thing I am a gracious loser.
Thanks everybody for the sage advice. We’ve been married close to 35 years. She has to be a saint to put up with my dumb antics. She seems to like the 38sp rev I have. Now if the prices of ammo for would drop.
This is a very common situation. Having been a female NRA certified instructor for the last 12 years many of the folks in my class are women. Women are generally more relaxed with another woman anyway. In general a husband teaching a wife how to shoot is like teaching her how to drive. There’s to much of a personal connection there and any strife that might be in the marriage is going to affect the entire situation in training…way to much familiarity.
After 12 years of teaching this became one of the “don’t do it’s” real fast. I’ve had a lot of guys in my classes that came through the door “shooting for 20 years!” My first question was “how is it you’re still taking in air?”
One thing I do in my classes, for the guys as well as the gals, is offer continuing one on one training at no extra charge, for anyone completing the class. I’ve even had some guys come back for more one on one. Fortunately I’m only about a mile from our indoor range.
I have a statement I tell all the husbands never teach your wife any of the following, driving, golf, flyfishing and shooting, also never pick out her gun that’s her choice. My wife Cindy and I teach mixed classes together but she always teams with another female instructor for the women’s only classes.
For peace in the marriage, never train your wife, get an instructor to do it. This way it doesn’t seem like you are lording it over her. If you can get a female traing class, all the better. Being a male instructor, I find that women get comfortable when I leave all my male stuff out of the training, and just concentrate on HER needs.