Getting spouse over lack of self confidence

Right you are David-65, I learned that about 40 years ago when I got married. Now to get in the last word I just learned to say “Yes, Dear”, then do things the way I planned to start with. It just saves time from arguing, stuff still works out.

As far as for William’s “She won’t carry all the time” thoughts, even if she carries part time that is still more time than she does now. As she gets more comfortable and confident, that ‘carry time’ may increase.

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Just gotta let her learn at her own pace. It takes teamwork, dedication, and communication to teach anyone. I taught my wife how to handle firearms. Last year I started training her to clear rooms and sweap the house for threats. I even set it up into a point system game. We’ll even do a grab the kiddo, bugout bag, and get in the truck. Then head to the lake for a picnic. Gotta make it fun and interactive for her. And above all. She has to trust you and you gotta trust her.

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Welcome to the family brother @Mitchell22 and you are in the right place at the right time.

Many have mentioned it already, but let her go at her own pace. For example, after getting a CCP not everyone carries all the time but as they become more comfortable carrying, they carry more. Starting out, many CCP owners may not carry with a round in the chamber. Eventually, they become more comfortable and they change.

But I have to give it to your wife on one thing. The cattle. She had more insight into paying attention to what was beyond her target. Being paranoid and able to avoid a potential issue is a big part of being ready to carry and if she took a CCP (Concealed Carry Permit) class was likely something the instructor stressed. She’s not comfortable shooting and likely doesn’t feel her shooting is accurate enough to remain on the backstop. When she’s more comfortable this may change.

And having the knowledge to teach and being a good teacher isn’t the same thing. Providing instruction and telling someone what to do isn’t the same thing. I’ve seen a lot of horrible instruction by husbands and boyfriends at the range because they forget what they had to learn to get to where they are now and they lacked the patience to take the time to cover the fundamentals the student needed. This is only a larger conflict/struggle when there is a relationship between the instructor and student. I’m not saying you would be a bad instructor, only that it’s a struggle for some people to go from being a student/practitioner to being an instructor.

In short, give her time to become more comfortable and build her confidence. Go to the range together, and let her lead her own growth. The fact she’s wanting to learn is a big step. Let her go the path at her own pace. She’ll be carrying constantly and possibly outshooting you in no time. :slight_smile: :wink:

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Then, enjoy years of shooting together.

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It takes a lot of patients. I trained my wife to become very proficient she was very afraid of all guns and would not even touch them . Anyone can teach everyone if they go about it the right way and dedicate the time to do the job to the end whatever it takes . My wife now carries Daily as I do & have for over 35 years.

Bill

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My husband taught me. If someone wants to learn, they will accept the training.

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Welcome to the family @Tanya3 and you are in the right place at the right time.

Female here. My husband taught me to shoot. He’s been shooting his whole life. Nobody taught me as a kid. When we got our CCWs together, I was hesitant at first to carry everywhere. Initially, I would only take it certain places. Then I became more comfortable with it, and started carrying it more places. Now I don’t leave home without it, not even to go for a walk around the block. I pull weeds with it in my holster in my front yard. Give her time. It’s a huge responsibility, and for me that was the gravity of it. If I had to guess, maybe that’s how she views it as well, which is a good thing. It means she has respect for it and takes it seriously, which everyone should. If you feel like you need to nudge her, casually slip into a conversation that very often, when people are charged for self defense shootings, those who state they only carry certain places or admit that they don’t carry everywhere can sometimes deal with a prosecutor who tries to tie intent to the situation for that very fact. Carrying everywhere eliminates that possibility. That was something that opened my eyes, and with all the anti-gun prosecutors there are, it’s worth considering.

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I guess it all depends on how you conduct her training and the depth of your relationship. I trained my wife and she is very proficient now. In fact, she had so much fun learning to shoot she asked for a 1911 Government Model for Christmas the following year and she shoots it like a champ. She and I both carry everywhere we go and I am very confident of her ability to stand by me in an emergency.

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I realize there are folks out there who have successfully trained their spouses, I’m one of them. As a general rule it usually goes much better if the initial training is conducted by a third party IMHE & O. In my case I had my gun fearing wife come visit one of my classes prior to me “teaching” her. She saw how I interacted with the different students in the class and saw that the final message was always the same. The class in particular was a mix of 3 letter club “field officers” and “annalists” so everything from “I can actually shoot the eyes out of a snake on the move” to “Guns are evil.” The coalescing factor was that they were all going down range together to do what ever it is they were going to do. The end result was the shooters learned a tip or trick or two and the “Gunz are evil” crowd walked away going “Guns are OK.” ALL passed the qual standing on their own two feet and my wife was good with me “showing her stuff”. She has a permit but doesn’t carry often, her call not mine. With current conditions being what they are she has had significantly more interest lately and were working on that.

Cheers,

Craig6

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Well find a lady trainer you take a lesson from her then send wifey because. To put it bluntly you can’t teach her Isht ! If your sleeping with her point blank , I teach women they will listen. And I find they are more trainable than men. But there are some men who get it they are there to learn like some women same thing but then there’s your lady who literally has to like the most difficult gun to shoot correctly. And compact gun , I don’t care if it’s as soft a shot as a .22 remember no recoil it’s all about shot placement and grip fundamentals. You removed a large part of the equation that being recoil. Now when not available dry fire. It’s boring and most people don’t do it. In my opinion the best training is dry practice with the weapon you intend to carry. But training your lady unless she idolizes you yeah that’s a go preceded by a no !

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