Men training Women

Greetings All. I’m new here. I’ll come to the point. I’m specifically addressing the ladies.

I’ve been a Soldier for almost 30 years. I’ve trained men and women to shoot and do not believe there is anything distinctly masculine about shooting.

Why do ladies want “ladies only” training environments? The crux of the matter is I’m considering training my girlfriend who has no firearms experience at all. We just bought “his and hers” 9mm pistols yesterday.

Sooooo, ladies as I’m going to be her primary instructor what sensitivities would you wish your male instructor to keep utmost in your first experience with a firearm?

This may be a bit like closing the barn door after the horse bolted, but as an Army instructor there was no choice for student or instructor. These were the orders; students had no choice of instructors and vise versa.


Welcome to the family brother @Jason327 and I have the confidence that you can teach men and women and get the same excellent results.


Welcome to the Community :handshake:

That’s the “ladies thing”… perhaps they want to train in kitchen environment? :wink:
I’m just kidding… I personally spend more time in the kitchen than my wife. :pinched_fingers:

I never understood this as well, especially on the Community. We have a lot of women here but you can hardly find them involved in discussions.

However, fortunately I see good amount of ladies attending ranges, training and classes. It’s not 50/50… but at least they don’t have any problems running drills between male shooters. :clap:

Good luck teaching your girlfriend :v: Hopefully she catches the bug :muscle:


Welcome to the show. I don’t think it’s a ladies only thing. Been doing classes for 20ish years and have noticed it’s more of the partner to the ladies that is the issue . My observation.

Some of the ladies say it outright and others just go by what they were showed by hubby. Separate them on the firing line and she will do much better. Your situation i believe is different as you have instructed both before.


I’ve taught a lot of ladies to shoot over the past few decades. Frankly, they’re a lot easier to teach basics to than men-ladies tend to pay attention -some men seem to think they’ve got a “John Wayne” gene and already know everything🙄. From what I’ve seen ladies like a a “ladies only” CCW class because some guys feel the need to show off/impress women, giving them a hard time if the lady fails to do what he thinks is cricket. I usually teach ladies who’ve never been around a firearm. I start with the basic safety principals and safe gun handling. I’ll then teach them to shoot with a .22. Once they can hit consistently we start looking at heavier calibers. I let them shoot a variety of different types and let them choose what works best for the individual. I’ve taught ladies from my 12 yr old granddaughter to an 83 yr old widow from church. Best advice: be patient, be sure she’s comfortable with each step before going on. From my experience many gun shops and well meaning guys will saddle a lady with a J frame or a micro nine. A lady shoots one of these first time out and the recoil/difficulty of hitting often turns them off completely. Same advice for trading guys😏. Boys and women are the ones I like to teach the most because they “want” to learn. Those guys with minimum experience who think they “know” are a PITA👍


Welcome to the community. It’s not about men and women. It’s about husbands, wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, that sort of thing.


Female shooters have special needs but they don’t need and very do not want a female instructor. In fact my wife will refuse a female instructor every time. As a matter of fact probably 80% of the folks I have trained have been females.

When you understand how to teach women (and I have my two sisters and wonderful wife for THAT knowledge) the word gets around and they will flock to you.


Guns do end up being a distinctly masculine topic fairly often.

No matter where you go, you seem to eventually find innuendos about size or fun-poking comments about feminine characteristics with regard to recoil, caliber choice, etc. Just look up any long winded 9v40 or 40/10mm debate and see what I mean.

Not that actual professional instructors tend to be this way, but within genpop I can see how women might be a bit weary in general of the male/female dynamic

For actual instructors I don’t, in my experience, see it mattering at all either way or any combination. But, again, given the way the “community” (not this one, just, in general) of gun enthusiasts is by far and away overly populated with older men…I can see how women would have a hesitation in general


Greetings, and thank you for your service and for this question!

I’m new here and new to shooting, but I’ve thought about this often and even mentioned it to the USCCA person on the phone when I joined. I let her know that I’d feel more comfortable with an all-female range and that I’ve sought out female instructors for training.

Can’t speak for other women, but I sometimes feel more self-conscious and worry if perhaps there may be some men that take issue with women being a part of the sport. It may not be the case at all, but as a somewhat newbie, the idea of anything breaking my concentration feels like too much in an already stressful setting as I have some performance anxiety as well. I’d feel less uncomfortable messing up in the presence of a woman than I would a man.

It’s quite possible that it’s a matter of experience, and that once I am more confident in my skills, I will not care one way or another. I actually prefer a male instructor in a classroom setting and tend to think more traditionally, assuming he is more skilled, etc., so I do think, as others have mentioned, that the male/female dynamic is part of what’s going on.

As far as sensitivities, I guess it’s just a matter of being patient. That’s really all that’s required.


Thanks for the kind welcomes and intelligent comment. As I said my experience is military, so there was no choice. I hadn’t considered the spouse/boyfriend aspect of the dynamic.

We’ve known each other a while so I don’t think it’ll be a problem.


That part I can certainly address, and it’s completely the opposite. For many reasons, both selfless and selfish reasons. Basically, every reason imaginable.

We recognize that firearms are the great equalizer, and the same reason the frail old men rely on firearms to put them on a more level playing field with violent criminals, who tend to be younger strong males, applies to women arming themselves as well. All else equal, women, being less physically strong, have even more to gain by having access to firearms for self defense.

For the selfish part, anybody who thinks it through will realize that the more people who get into firearms…be it for sport, hunting, self defense, whatever…the less likely we are to get more restrictive laws. When we increase the number of people who are knowledgeable about firearms, who won’t be tricked by the media into silly bans, we end up with better laws. Matters not where that increase comes from…so why not from women? Huge untapped (relatively speaking) population there. The more, the better.


Welcome aboard ma’am. We are glad you are here.



Thanks for your perspective. I’m glad to hear you are involved in shooting and are enjoying the exercise of your Constitutional right to keep and bear arms.

I guess I was automatically trained as a trainer not to allow the male/female dynamic be a problem, as that would have been professional suicide.

However, you may be interested to know some female advantages in shooting: women have a lower center of gravity which makes them more stable; women also have greater visual acuity which means you see fine detail better and can generally see farther than men.

  1. Teaching Women To Shoot A Law Enforcement Instructor’s Guide Second Edition by Vicki Farnam & Diane Nicholl





I think a lot of it has to do with “mansplaining.” That and being talked down to. These two relate to the instructor and the environment created (not just male instructors, by the way). Neanderthals in the class don’t help either.


I taught all my girls including my wife to shoot and defend themselves.
I have one redeeming quality that all my girls respect!
The ladies require patience.
My boys, sometimes required the smack on the back of the neck.
With the ladies it’s just like dating, it takes finesse! No pickup lines, no showing off! Just the facts. Show, tell, and experience.
A little first aid will go a long way as well!

Youngest daughter, who thought at one point, she would never touch a gun. She can take out a dime at 100 yards.


FWIW I have often heard women tend to be easier to teach about firearms than men, because they don’t have the ego or think they already know attitude, they know they don’t know and know that’s okay and do what they are instructed and pick it up more quickly.

They are also, generally, less likely to have gone out on their own and developed bad habits that need re-trained, more likely to be a blank slate, which is easier to work with than a guy who has self taught or buddy-taught bad habits


Welcome to the family sister @Christy4 and we are happy you are with us.