Let’s pretend for a moment I’m an Aye Tee Eff agent. What brands have you lost in a boating accident?
These are mine (or, were mine?):
What? No Glock?
Daisy
Crossman
That’s my story. I’m sticking to it.
You forgot Umarex.
I like the way that rolls off my tongue 
Weihrauch / Beeman,
Gammo
The boats though!
Yeah, 3 bassmasters at the bottom of the reservoir and I couldn’t afford another Daisy BB gun!
I’ve never owned a boat or even been on a boat. A friend of a friend has, though, and I heard through the grapevine that he may have had a boating accident once, I think.
If I recall, the story was that he lost a couple of Glocks (I think those are some sort of glow-in-the-dark clocks or something), a Canik (a foreign can opener contraption) and a couple of custom/bespoke SOTAs (not sure, maybe some sort of Swedish soda maker??).
Anyway, haven’t heard from my friend or his friend in decades.
I had 18 boats for awhile, totaling 256’ in length. I tend to go a bit overboard 
in my pursuits. I was on the river during the week, and on the ocean weekends and vacations.
A friend of mine built barges at a shipyard in RI. Ocean going, 3-600’ long. He fell off one with his Glock, took a shower and both were good to go.
Hasbro, Mattel, Nerf, if you grew up with these, you never heard of a school shooting! Just sayin!
We were AMERICANS! It was in our blood! Somewhere along the line there was a massive transfusion!
Not gonna see these on the shelves at a store called TARGET 
Seriously. We played “army” as kids. Most violent we ever got was with the steel cork guns we had. It got tiresome hearing “I shot you” " no, you missed" with the sticks we used, and when those steel cork guns came out, we found that by removing the cork and jamming the muzzle into the ground, you could blast your “enemy” in the face with dirt, and judge by the shriek or cursing whether it was a hit or not. Trench warfare, anyone?
Generally, we’d all end up at the frog-pond anyways, just messing around.
Truth!
I lost my LEGO Glock… 
I’m 65 and we played war along with Cowboys and Indians then went to high school with a shot gun and a 3030 in a gun rack no one was ever shot.
We played with gunpowder before 10th grade, I thought I lost my left thumb print due to powder burns.
I don’t own any guns. It’s obviously an AI conspiracy perpetuated by neoNazi Soros funded illegal immigrants.
I have never had a boating accident, but I did lose some things in the unfortunate Stripper/Mudslide incident in Bora-Bora.
Remington (2)
Beretta (2)
KelTek
Marlin
Browning
Lee Enfield
It was a very traumatic time in my life and I would appreciate if we could just drop the subject. I mean it, so stop asking. Quit it!
Fine, if you really wanna know, here’s how it happened…
We had bomb threats. Usually when someone wanted to get out of class.
We did thr EXACT same thing! Then one day Bruce stuck it in dog s#it and shot his sister Becky, and we actually all felt sorry for her!
Then we went to the pond and everyone got over it.
Or we built a ramp in the street to see who could do the farthest Evil Kanevil jump on our bikes.
We lived better.
Never had a boating accident, never will. All my guns are safe.
Fug the ATF
Dang. Biological warfare. I’m glad we never progressed to that level of innovation 
