MINNEAPOLIS, MN — Amid accusations connected to a massive fraud scandal, Minnesota Governor Tim Walz has announced he will not seek reelection.
Sources say the governor will now focus his attention on prison where it belongs.
“Yes, folks, I have decided to retire,” said Walz, flanked by dozens of cheering Somali migrants. “I love being governor, but I need to spend more time on some other important priorities in my life. It has been an honor serving as your governor. Hadda waan tegayaa Dhamaantiin waxaan idin leeyahay sagootin aad u wanaagsan.”
At publishing time, Walz had reportedly escaped the country and was headed to Somalia.
Me:… or Venezula, IRAN, Colmbia whoever will take him…
Don.102. Brother. Joe ELY. Was one of the Most Influential singers of my Lifetime he passed just the other Day. He is from Amarillo and Loves New Mexico as Do i. A thousand miles from home im listening to right now !! How true Blood Brother. Here’s a Root Beer Sir For we will make it Home a thousand miles from Home !! Love Bobby jean and Debbie ann twofeathers . Sir . Love ya Brother . And New Mexico Sir Amen Sir
He (and the rest) aren’t going to their ‘Golden Parachutes’ of Ill gotten gains retirement. If y’all haven’t noticed by now Trump ain’t playin’. THEY TRIED TO DESTROY HIM, RAIDED HIS HOME!, Went through Melania’s Underwear drawers and closets—Evil, Twisted bestards!. Disrespecting the MAN and his Family.
None of the phuckers are going to get away. Where’s Killery?, Shummer? Jefferies? CRICKETS!, AOC, Bernie? awfully Quiet… You would think they’d have something to say with all Trumps WINS wouldn’t you?
But the fact of the matter is He’s Kickin’ Arse! And WE THE PEEP’S are backing his plays, We’re SICK OF THIS ‘ELITE’ Bullsh!t! They grow Richer and we get to suck on the dregs of our dwindling Income!
They give OUR MONEY, Security, Wealth to the friggin’ Illegals? I don’t think so. Now all the CORRUPTION WILL DESTROY THEM!
WE MAY NEVER SEE THE HANGINGS (Pity) but they will NOT get to the escape pod in time.
Don.102 Sir Yes Sir the Dimwits. Suck fish heads and the the woke Bastards sold out our country and all the American people . And they play the Racism card every single time. J.6. Was a sham nothing more than good Citizens going to prison for four years for Bull crap what A set up we the people know what The Dims Did the world knows. It’s sad they the Dims who sold out our country . An still are trying to give it to Foreigners as we speak Sir. God Bless America Sir thank. You for your service sir Love Bobby jean and Debbie ann twofeathers . Sir Stay Sharp America New York is just the Beginning of the End . If the Dims ever get back in power . Sadly sadly !!!
U.S. — Following the events in Minneapolis this past week, liberals across America are now living under the constant terror of being senselessly shot by the ICE agents they’re hitting with cars.
Many liberals will not even go outside, fearful that America is no longer safe for people who aim their SUVs at law enforcement officers and accelerate.
“I’m petrified. This is an awful new reality we are living in, where the federal officers you’re trying to mow down could shoot you at any moment,” said local liberal Jennifer Small. “Every time I wave good-bye to my husband, I wonder if this is our last farewell. Is today the day when I will be needlessly killed for blocking law enforcement, refusing to comply with police orders, turning my wheels toward an officer, and pressing the gas?”
Democratic politicians have warned their electorate that they are in imminent danger from the police they are trying to maim and and murder. “Make no mistake. The people you are running over with your cars could literally kill you,” said Minneapolis Mayor Jacob Frey. “I am disgusted that Minnesotans are at risk of violence when committing vehicular homicide, and I’m going to do everything in my power to change that.”
At publishing time, Democrats had also warned that citizens could also be groundlessly arrested by the riot police they’re setting on fire.
ME: Are we sure this is Satire? I am deathly afraid of the ‘Icicles’ ! (it’s winter after all!’
U.S. — In a powerful protest against Robert F. Kennedy Junior’s caution against drinking alcohol at breakfast, liberals have begun chugging bottles of Everclear at 7 a.m. every single morning.
“We’ll show you, RFK!” shouted local man Donovan Mitchell. “I’m about to wash this down with a gallon of red dye. Take that, you brain-wormed freak!”
With RFK Jr. stating that alcohol should be enjoyed in moderation and not for breakfast each day, liberals were left with no choice but to drink obscene amounts of 190-proof Everclear every morning. “No eggs for me, I’ll just have Everclear,” said local woman Jeannie Barton. “No alcohol for breakfast, huh? What will this lunatic think of next? I already feel healthier, happier, and weirdly, warmer. It could be that I spilled some Everclear near a candle and now my dining table is currently on fire. It’s hard to say.”
At publishing time, liberals had learned that RFK Jr. also recommended not drinking straight liquor for lunch either.
ME: OK! THAT’S ENOUGH! I KNOW THIS FOR A FACT! My Leftist neighbor was found in his driveway yesterday morning and the other neighbor (a Conservative) heard from the OTHER neighbor (an EMT) that it was acute alcohol poisoning, we thought he was hitting the bottle pretty hard lately after the Garbage trucks would dump his recyclables and it was all Glass! what a racket !
WASHINGTON, D.C. — As part of ongoing efforts to improve things in both countries, the United States reportedly made an official diplomatic offer to trade all of its liberal women for Iranian women.
According to highly placed sources, representatives of the State Department, including Secretary Marco Rubio, had engaged in high-level talks with officials from the Iranian government to lay out parameters for a trade that would send every liberal American woman to Iran in exchange for Persian women.
“It’s a deal that makes too much sense not to happen,” Rubio said in a brief statement to reporters. “In the United States, we’re overrun with unpleasant, objectionable, hateful women of multi-colored hair. In Iran, they seek to oppress the rights of the beautiful Persian women. In light of the current state of affairs in both countries, making a historic trade is a viable solution. Just think about how much life would instantly improve in America with no more liberal women.”
White House insiders confirmed that the idea for the swap originated with President Donald Trump. “Why don’t we get rid of the nasty, ugly, liberal women and bring in hot Persian ladies?” Trump reportedly asked his advisors. “Everything would be great. Protests would disappear. Traffic would be less congested. They won’t let the crazy liberal women go on social media in Iran. And those Persian women are beautiful, believe me. It’s nothing but winning. Get it done, Marco.”
At publishing time, Iranian officials were reportedly open to moving forward with the trade after realizing that Islamic law could hide all the unattractive liberal women under burqas and prevent them from participating in society.
A good deal for sure. Before those lunatics that seem to prefer goats over women took over, the Persian women were doctors, scientists and entrepreneurs. Not many people got screwed by Islam worse than the Persian women.
Sir For we will make it Home a thousand miles from Home !! Love Bobby jean and Debbie ann twofeathers . Sir . Love ya Brother . And New Mexico Sir 
Amen Sir
what A set up we the people know what The Dims Did the world knows. It’s sad they the Dims who sold out our country . An still are trying to give it to Foreigners as we speak Sir. God Bless America 
