Welcome to Aftermath, a portion of our First Line email newsletter where Attorney Anthony L. DeWitt walks you through a real-life self-defense incident and shares his key takeaways.
Ex-Girlfriend Stages Home Invasion
A Dublin, California, resident was awakened at 11:30 p.m. by banging at his front door, ABC Channel 7 News reported. When he saw his ex-girlfriend, he opened the door. She rushed in with a gun-wielding man. The pair assaulted the resident, and the male attacker fired one shot. The resident, who went to the door armed, fired back and fled, calling police when he was safe. Police arrived to find the woman fatally injured and the armed attacker with non-life-threatening injuries. The armed attacker was charged with the murder of the woman who died. Police could not determine whether the resident or the attacker shot the woman.
Would you open the door for your ex at 11:30 p.m.?
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First of all… 11.30 pm is not a time for visiting, so that’s the difference I see with my actions.
“Go away and come back tomorrow if you want to talk”. Definitely I wouldn’t open the door.
Whatever happened it that scenario was the consequence of opening the door.
If I would be in that position…probably my actions would be the same. Fight back and take the cover. Call 911.
Whoever shot that woman…the attacker took whole responsibility for her death. Thanks God the Law is clear here…
The only reason my ex would even contact me at that hour is if there was a problem with out children. She wouldn’t come over without even calling me first. And I live in a community where she would have to stop at the front gate and get a pass before entering.
That being said, I have had a knock at my door that late at night once. It was a neighbor. I did have my gun on me just in case. It turned out on this particular incident that the neighbor’s daughter ran away and the neighbor was asking if my kids had seen or heard from the daughter.
Moral of that story is, it’s good to be prepared for the unthinkable, but not every encounter ends in violence. I think one key to being safe in your neighborhood is to have a healthy, friendly rapport with your neighbors, especially the ones directly next to you, so that they are familiar with who is usually in and coming around your house, and you’re familiar with the activity on their property, so that in the event that something suspicious happens around your house there is more of a chance of somebody watching your back and calling for help.
No need to open the door at that hour. No good will come of it. I too have neighbors who would reach out to me, but they would call/text first. Too many ways to communicate these days that make knocking on a door at 11:30 PM avoidable in 99% of the cases.
All my X’s live in Texas. Literally. Well, except for 1…and she’s dead now. So any of them show up here in FL and ring my doorbell at 11:30 PM, I am definitely NOT opening the door…especially if it’s the dead one!
Frankly, you need to have a come to Jesus meeting if you’re dating people like that. Poor judge of character. I only have one “ex” and she dumped me because I was pushing away. We’re civil to each other but do not socialize. We come from very different cloths. I’d do most anything to help her out but that is nowhere near her or my life situation. My wife’s ex is one of my Army buddies that I protected. He was one of my soldiers. He now teaches at West Point. Great man.
So, I haven’t had an ex-girlfriend since 1982 but trying to think back and place myself in the TODAY in that scenario… Yes, I’d probably open the door and see what she wants. Non of my ex-girlfriends back in the day had any violent tendencies. They just didn’t like me anymore and broke up with me.
If she were to call first?, maybe. But she is 2,000 miles away so I would be very surprised. My Staffy/Foxhound is a wireless door bell so if he doesn’t sense/hear anything I would have to check him for a pulse.
A little off topic, but it’s my 40th HS reunion this year. I hated HS. But I’d love to go back and show all the bullies and jocks where I’m at today.
I’m reLly getting tired of this forum limits on the use of perfectly good English. Your system tried to say I was using an unacceptable word, which was not even in my post.
Doorbell cams are cheaper and better than ever. So are outdoor cameras. So, a few seconds delay to talk to someone on the other side of the door with a remo bell cam (Ring owns you and charges too much, and are a pain to install) is well worth the time. Tactically you are away from your door, so no worries about bullets passing through to softer items behind them like you. As for Camera systems many have push notifications that can send an image, as well as mikes and speakers, a lot may be learned just by turning them on. So how would I have done things different? First observe.
In the absence of cameras there are any number of ways that could have been handled better. Having a firearm in your hand is definately adviseable. Anytime somebody unannounced/unexpected outside of normal hours for you (in defference to those who work midnights) coming to your home calling on you is not good. Even booty calls usually call first!
If she is your ex, would not you have untied the link? The connection? If she shows up it better be at a normal time. A phone call previously to set up a meeting time or otherwise your going to be talking to the door.
Upon going to the door and seeing the ex I would have not answered or if possible gone out anther door getting behind them and as soon as I saw a gun shot them both,
