Be careful that self examination does not turn into second guessing.
As cold as this sounds when evaluating a self defense situation you have to turn your emotions off completely or to the greatest extent possible and simply evaluate the facts, the law, the options available and whether or not you have acted lawfully and morally in whatever you choose.
It’s like being a paramedic on the ambulance or an ER doc or nurse. You have to detach yourself emotionally, follow your training, and have the background and education to make sound decisions.
Otherwise the second guessing and self doubt can become incredibly toxic and eat you up from within.
Of my great grandfathers was the last US Marshall sent into the NM “Badlands” to clean out the last of the outlaws. In the course of his work he’d been in quite a few shootings many of them fatal.
He was a family hero and something of a scary son of a bitch all rolled into one and what made it worse was his physical appearance. He was somewhere between 6’8-6’10, gaunt and looked kind of like the angel of death and generally a very stone faced and stoic character but he had a real soft spot for us kids.
Of course we heard of all of his exploits from the parents, grandparents and great uncles/aunts.
I got up the courage when I was six or seven to ask him about his life behind the badge and how he lived with it and he simply looked at me with a cold stare and slight smile and said, “There’s true evil in the world and some folks just need kill’n so you do what you have to”.
Stuck with me for life.