In another thread, I posted about my extensive links to Colorado. I thought it might be edifying and probably entertaining to relate my first big game hunting trip.
I was 13, and we went on a hunting trip to the Rockies, in Colorado. It was me, someone, and someone’s friend. There had been a series of bear attacks, and someone and his friend had been messing with me all night before we were to go hunting about this bear. So, I am rather jacked up about this bear, but I am ready to go hunting. We are maintaining about 25 yard intervals as we start going down the mountain.
I get separated by what I first though was a small creek, which quickly became a brook, and then a good sized stream. It’s about 50 feet wide at this point and it’s pretty much all white water, moving rapidly.
This is where it starts to go sideways, for me. I am yelling at someone, that “Hey I am stuck over here!”, He basically tells me to “chill out”. About that time I start to hear this rather loud rustling in the bushes about 25 yards away. Refer back to beginning of this story, and the bear attacks that I had been hearing about. So I am thinking bear, and I am thinking how fast bears are over short distances. Plus I am 13 and there is a pretty good sized stream between me and the 2 adults.
So I walk on a bit more, and the rustling in the scrub is kind of pacing me and every now and again I see a flash of black through the bush. So now I am definitely thinking bear. Now I am actively looking for a to climb. I have a 30-30 but I am not certain it’s going to stop a bear. So I am thinking, climb a , shoot the a bunch, rinse and repeat as necessary.
Before I get to put this, tactically brilliant plan (to me anyways) into action. The “” in the bushes starts making its way towards me. So as any reasonable 13 y/o kid jacked up on adrenaline, and fear, from listening to bear attack stories all night. I light Yogi Bear up.
I have to admit, my marksmanship was actually pretty good as I put all 5 rounds into Yogi Bear’s head. I even stopped Yogi with those 5 rounds.
There was one small problem. It wasn’t Yogi the Bear, it was Bessie the lost Cow.
So, what did I learn from this adventure.
Identify your target. This proved to be a very expensive lesson as A) I got my butt tore up, B) I had to pay for poor Bessie, and C) A fairly delicious lesson, since I had to pay for it, I wasn’t going to waste all that beef.
It is contraindicated, to keep a 13 y/o up all night with stories about bear attacks.
Unsurprisingly, creeks quickly become bigger the farther down a mountain you follow them.
Please feel free to have fun with your comments, as I can now look back at this and look at myself and think of what an idiot I was.
Cast of characters
Me = well me
Someone = my biological sperm donor
Someone’s friend = An Alabama State Senator, that Someone was friends with
Do not attempt this at home. This message was crafted by professionals on a closed course. No animals were harmed in crafting this message (unless you count poor Bessie from 40 odd years ago).