My first big hunting trip

Miscellaneous Fun/Humorous
1

In another thread, I posted about my extensive links to Colorado. I thought it might be edifying and probably entertaining to relate my first big game hunting trip.

I was 13, and we went on a hunting trip to the Rockies, in Colorado. It was me, someone, and someone’s friend. There had been a series of bear attacks, and someone and his friend had been messing with me all night before we were to go hunting about this bear. So, I am rather jacked up about this bear, but I am ready to go hunting. We are maintaining about 25 yard intervals as we start going down the mountain.

I get separated by what I first though was a small creek, which quickly became a brook, and then a good sized stream. It’s about 50 feet wide at this point and it’s pretty much all white water, moving rapidly.

This is where it starts to go sideways, for me. I am yelling at someone, that “Hey I am stuck over here!”, He basically tells me to “chill out”. About that time I start to hear this rather loud rustling in the bushes about 25 yards away. Refer back to beginning of this story, and the bear attacks that I had been hearing about. So I am thinking bear, and I am thinking how fast bears are over short distances. Plus I am 13 and there is a pretty good sized stream between me and the 2 adults.

So I walk on a bit more, and the rustling in the scrub is kind of pacing me and every now and again I see a flash of black through the bush. So now I am definitely thinking bear. Now I am actively looking for a :evergreen_tree: to climb. I have a 30-30 but I am not certain it’s going to stop a bear. So I am thinking, climb a :evergreen_tree:, shoot the :bear: a bunch, rinse and repeat as necessary.

Before I get to put this, tactically brilliant plan (to me anyways) into action. The “:bear:” in the bushes starts making its way towards me. So as any reasonable 13 y/o kid jacked up on adrenaline, and fear, from listening to bear attack stories all night. I light Yogi Bear up.

I have to admit, my marksmanship was actually pretty good as I put all 5 rounds into Yogi Bear’s head. I even stopped Yogi with those 5 rounds.

There was one small problem. It wasn’t Yogi the Bear, it was Bessie the lost Cow.

So, what did I learn from this adventure.

  1. Identify your target. This proved to be a very expensive lesson as A) I got my butt tore up, B) I had to pay for poor Bessie, and C) A fairly delicious lesson, since I had to pay for it, I wasn’t going to waste all that beef.

  2. It is contraindicated, to keep a 13 y/o up all night with stories about bear attacks.

  3. Unsurprisingly, creeks quickly become bigger the farther down a mountain you follow them.

Please feel free to have fun with your comments, as I can now look back at this and look at myself and think of what an idiot I was.

Cast of characters
Me = well me
Someone = my biological sperm donor
Someone’s friend = An Alabama State Senator, that Someone was friends with

Do not attempt this at home. This message was crafted by professionals on a closed course. No animals were harmed in crafting this message (unless you count poor Bessie from 40 odd years ago).:eyes::crazy_face::innocent:

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:rofl:
First, I love this story. Shooting a cow while thinking it’s a bear. Adult men can be real stupid while they think they’re being “cute”. It’s taken me years to to undo all the fake information my uncles fed me growing up.

You were brave in my opinion. Cops shooting cows is stupid and coward. Unless your slow and a bull is charging you with nowhere to escape then I guess you can shoot. However, I’ve been chased by bulls a few times growing up. It’s definitely exhilarating. I have one really fun story to tell about one of those experiences but I won’t steal your thunder.

It’s funny that nobody ever responded to this post.

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