Keeping guns safe

So here’s a little backstory… My sister-in-law has some mental and financial issues and has a boyfriend that’s mentally unstable. A few months ago, the boyfriend found my SIL’s revolver in an unlocked box and took photos of himself pointing the gun at his temple, posted them on Facebook, etc. You guessed it, this caused quite a stir in the family.

I have a gun safe at home and I’m well trained in handling firearms, so I offered to the family to keep the revolver safe, as well as the .22WMR rifle that she keeps lying around for some reason. My SIL agreed and I’ve had the guns in my safe for the last 5 months.

But, I don’t want to keep them around forever. At some point I’d like to return the firearms but I feel very conflicted about it. The boyfriend still lives with my SIL and I would never forgive myself if he harmed her or himself in whatever stupor he’ll be in. Note, she still doesn’t have any means to lock up her firearms safely.

So what should I do? Should I go to the police and reference red flag laws (we’re in Florida)? Should I just keep the guns until she can show to me that she has secure means of storing a firearm? Or should I just give them back, hope for the best, and trust that they’re adults?

Any serious advice would be highly appreciated!

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Keep the guns locked up. You answered your own question when you stated:

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Sounds like you’re the voice of reason. I’m no doctor or lawyer. There doesn’t seem to be a conflict. Keep all firearms now in your possession LOCKED UP. It does however sound like an intervention is required not a reason to report someone to the government. I believe family should care for family. Tough love and all that.
Leave the diagnosis to a doctor. Hope that makes sense. For the safety of all, KEEP THEM under your close supervision.

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You say your sil has some mental issues as well, never mind an idiot boyfriend…first sentence. Glad she agreed that you take them, imo that’s more sensible than the thought of you giving them back.
I’d keep red flag out of this, and this way, that’s easy to do.

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Thanks for your advice. My preference is to keep gov’t out of this for as long as possible, it’s really only a last resort. I’ll keep the firearms locked up for the time being until the dust settles.

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She agreed reluctantly after I talked to her, but yeah, it does seem more sensible to keep them locked up over here. I’m just wondering what to do if she ever wants them back.

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Given her situation which she fully understands, I’m not sure what it would take for your SIL to get her firearms back.

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I wouldn’t give them back.

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I have 3 similar circumstance firearms in my safe. I put them in the rear to keep my firearms easily accessible. They have been in my care for a long time and I don’t anticipate them moving for a very long time to come, if ever.

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I suggest you hold on to the weapons and report a red flag law. you never know what his intentions may be in the future. Sane people don’t take pics of themselves holding a gun to their heads and post them.

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Do not return them as long as he is in the picture

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You know I have to agree, times are not the same anymore and what used to be sane many moons ago is “insane” now. Normal people don’t place the muzzle of a gun to their heads. Not even toy guns.
MTV people took pictures and videos with their guns in showy displays of, what , I don’t know, but it was considered “normal”.
So now we have a YouTube generation. Well, if we didn’t have the MTV generation, IMHO we wouldn’t have all the awful YouTube “mishandling” videos!
I will admit, I do have a couple of shots of me with my weapons and all my children and grandchildren with various firearms. Non of which are irresponsibly held!
Yes, the boyfriend needs a little more intervention than the SIL, he could have real psychological problems or just mimicking YouTube videos. Notice, those videos have not been removed!

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First thing to do, IMO, is gather up that evidence. Everywhere that those pics of the boyfriend mishandling the firearm got posted, go take a screenshot and print them out. Keep multiple copies both digital and physical in multiple locations. Trusted friend/family, safe deposit box, your safe, etc. If this ever escalates into legal battles you are going to need that evidence especially if said boyfriend deletes the evidence at some point.

Keep the firearms as long as you can. ESPECIALLY if the boyfriend is still in the picture. As long as they are in your possession I don’t see any reason to involve police or red flag laws. Make sure to read up on the red flag laws in your state as they vary quite a bit from state to state.

You may eventually reach a point where you have to give them back. That’s when authorities can and should be involved (in fact she may involve them to get her firearms back). And that is when the evidence you collected earlier will come in handy. If at the end of the day a judge rules against you, at least you know you’ve done all you can. If it comes to that, make sure to buy her a safe(s) to keep them from being accessed by other parties.

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Just an idea. Since you live in Florida why don’t you and some other relatives in your family take him on a day trip fishing? While y’all are fishing and watching the gators swim about and sunning themselves on the bank (lived in Florida for a few years), then have a heart to heart discussion with him about your SIL and the consequences of crossing a line. He may get back home and pack his bags for greener pastures. Just a suggestion, worked for us with my niece’s ex boyfriend.

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I would not get law/red flag involved in a situation where there seems to be no dispute and the guns are secure. If the owner of the firearms is ok with status quo, what red flag?

The family “duty” would be to keep the weapons secure as long as necessary. If she demands them back, and that seems imprudent — then seek third-party support of one kind or another. Maybe she and her situation seem stable enough that helping with the expense of a safe for her to store them would be reasonable. Maybe she should have personal protection at hand. Maybe she would let you sell the guns to get them out of the picture.

I would add a reminder that GUNS are not the real hazard here — there is potential danger from a million directions when stability, judgement, and potential violence are prominent elements in a relationship. Don’t lose sight of the real hazards. It probably is not your responsibility to control or account for the behavior of other adults — hanging onto the guns may be the easiest part of what they need. It’s generous to do what you decide you are willing, but don’t own the outcome for others.

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I don’t think I would trust her with the guns. if she had a gun safe the boyfriend could find the key and get in it any way.

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@Harvey well unfortunately that has already happened… the photo was deleted soon after the family started rallying against him, so I don’t have any proof. For now, I’m just going to keep the guns safe and when she wants them back, I’ll see what I’ll do. Maybe involve authorities, or maybe not, but she doesn’t seem to care much about them right now anyway. So, no red flag laws will be invoked for the time being.

Thank you all again for your take on the situation - it’s very much appreciated!

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Not surprising, unfortunately. Keep track of the dates you think he posted them. Write them down, because you will forget them later. There is probably a legal process (thinking a subpoena) to get those photos if it comes to that. Because we all know nothing on the internet gets deleted.

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Screenshots last forever. Future reference. Also, anything ever posted to FB seems to get saved somewhere.

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There’s only so much you can do to protect someone from themselves. You have taken a very important action by keeping her firearms locked up and out of reach.

Involving the authorities should be avoided as long as possible. Once they are in the picture you lose all control over the situation. Think of the authorities the same way we think of out EDC’s: as a last resort for defense of life when all other options have failed.

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