I’m here sitting rolling through the posts on the Community yesterday and this morning and my wife walks over and asks if I have or have seen her glasses. I opened the armrest and said “you have pair here but I do not think these are the ones you’re looking for.” (We both have readers strategically placed all through the house.) She grabs them and walks away and then, “Oh my god, their on my head!”
Welcome to our lives!
6 Likes
Mike, the other day I couldn’t find my cell phone, my mrs said your talking on it…
I keep my sun/safety glasses on my hat, couldn’t find them the other day, …one can only guess where they were…
5 Likes
Yep. It happens more than I’d like to admit.
3 Likes
I have found myself rummaging through drawers, first with my left hand, then with my right, pausing between to shift my car keys from one hand to another, all while looking for my … you guessed it … car keys. 
I seem to always forget to ask my wife. No matter where they are, she knows. She knows if they’re in a place I never put them or never leave them. I asked her once, and she replied, “did you look in your car?” I told her that I never leave them in the car, she knows that, and I will look anyway. Yup, that’s right where they were… I married a very smart and insightful woman. Scary sometimes, but that keeps it all more interesting.
8 Likes
Interesting, if I can’t find something, my wife always knows, I wonder if she
moves things keep me thinking… muscle memory?
7 Likes
While it could be true, I would never suggest that to my wife. I would either be informing her that I know the secret (causing her to escalate), or giving her ideas.
3 Likes
I was working in England during the time of year that the sun comes up late and sets early. There was a nice running trail just down the road from where I was staying so I got a flashlight, aka torch, and set out for an early morning run. The road to the trail went past a church, and every church property in England is a cemetery, both inside and out (see photos below of actual property). As you can see in the first photo there were dense tall trees beside the road.
Anyway, it’s pitch black and I’m running down the road past the church with my torch and the trees suddenly started moving very violently! I stopped and the trees stopped. I started running again, heart pounding, and the trees started moving violently again! I took off sprinting as fast as I could go with crashing noises following me right down the other side of the tree line! Then one of them let out a moo. I ran thru that section with the torch off for the rest of the trip.
5 Likes
Great story and great pictures!
3 Likes
Nancy and I are going through the same thing. I told her “as long as we both don’t forget at the same time we will be all right”. 
3 Likes
During my teenage years I never had any money. A friend and I would sneak over to a country club’s golf course at night and dive for lost golf balls which we would sell to some adults we knew who did golf. Most of the balls had cuts in them and were pretty worthless, but about 1 out of 5 was a seller. We kept all the junk ones in a large Coleman cooler. Late one summer night we had the ‘great’ idea to take them to the top of this hill and just dump the whole thing letting them roll down the hill, cross a 4-lane surface street and ‘roll’ into a neighborhood. So, dump them we did. we then drove down the hill laughing about all those ‘rolling’ golf balls. However, a slight problem with the plan came to our attention when suddenly golf balls were now FLYING by our car with some being 8-10 feet off the ground. Lucky for us our car was not hit and being late at night and no traffic no other cars were hit. Now fast forward some 15 years to my work place where a group of us eating lunch got on the subject of stupid things we had done as kids. When I told this story a lady at the table said, “That was you!! I lived in the neighborhood where the golf balls ended up. Everyone had stories about the night it rained golf balls and everyone had a different idea about what caused it. Nobody thought about someone rolling them down the hill across the major surface street.”
10 Likes
Lmao!! Good story!!
2 Likes
Many years ago when my daughter was about 12 she was expressing an interest in pistol shooting. So not wanting to have her shoot something that might discourage her by having a painful experience I went out and bought a Walther .22. She was already shooting rifles .22 and a .357 mag marlin and I wanted to keep her interest up. We changed the grip panels to fit her hand and also changed the front sight to hit point of aim. and left it on the dresser for the next weekends outing and I was letting her dry fire it in the meantime under supervision of course.
Skip forward a few days I came home from work soaked to the bone and after a shower and dinner was heading to bed. I crawled in and something warm and fuzzy was down at my feet. I jumped out of bed kicking and screaming at whatever critter had moved in and after the dismount noticed a lump in the bed. I grabbed it by what felt like it’s neck and reached for for-mentioned pistol. That’s when my wife came in the room certain she had married a maniac. I told her I had the SOB by the neck and I couldn’t reach the pistol. She then broke out in laughter and told me that she was just trying to be nice and had placed a heated rice sock in the bed to help warm my feet.
To this day anytime something happens the first word out of their mouths is do you have it by the neck. When my daughter turned 21 I gave that pistol for her birthday present. Now she and her husband take it out shooting and still get a chuckle out of the rice sock incident.
8 Likes
@Don41 Good thing you didn’t reach the pistol. Just imagine how mad the wife would have been if you had filled the bed full of holes and rice. 
Good story, thanks. Stay safe, Bruce and Nancy. 
6 Likes
Wild Bill should really not touch a gun until he gets control of his violent insect reaction! LOL
4 Likes
I understand the have to be there thing, just a little back-up- not everyone does get it
2 Likes
One of my many lives…In the early 90’s, I was hauling grain during harvest with a semi, with doubles. When loading, I would always check brakes or grease. This particular day, I was under the semi greasing, remember it distinctly, and spotted a huge prairie rattlesnake crawling thru the holes in the adjacent aluminum wheels. Upon crapping my pants, I remember moving very quickly, jumping onto the hopper trailer. Grain was being loaded thru a huge auger powered by a running tractor. With the equipment running, I couldn’t hear myself think. I didn’t dare jump down as I was searching for the venomous creature, and now the hopper in the trailer was running over with grain. I had to get down and move the truck, or I was in for an hour, or more, of shoveling the mess on the ground. I jumped down, ran to shut the tractor and auger off. Ran for the cab of my truck, and realized if I open the door of the truck I might encounter the slivering, huge, reptile looking at me with a forked tongue and a hiss. Cautiously I entered the cab, and moved the truck. Next was to start the tractor, I couldn’t find the dam snake anywhere. At this point, the auger was plugged up. Now I had a mess on my hands with no snake to be found, auger plugged, grain on the ground, hopper overfilled. AND now I was over weight on the tandems of the trailer. Several hours later, finally headed to the terminal, 2 hour drive, to dump the load. The unload was inside of a bay at the elevator, and I was inside sitting in front of the air conditioner in the office. I did check my underwear for stains or racing stripes. I heard a screeching, ear deafening, cursing verbiage from the young fellow unloading the hopper on the trailer. I ran to seize the moment or assist in any way…the snake, same one I had the encounter with or another, am not sure, got sucked up in the auger, was in the load, and was now laying on the grate under the hopper of the trailer, partially alive. The young, tall fellow, was dancing some sort of a jig, hopping around like a chicken that had just laid a proud egg, or maybe a mouse ran up his pants, not sure, but that was more exciting than discovering the snake. Luckily the fellow unloading the trailer had the proper snake tool, aka shovel, and dealt with the creature. Prairie snake.
6 Likes
Venomous snakes have the same effect on me. Many moons ago, when I was a very young woman, I had only recently moved into my 1st home of my own; a couple of girlfriends came over for an afternoon of girl talk, beers, and getting a little sun in my back yard. As I was 18 and just starting out, I didn’t have a patio and the requisite outdoor furniture, so we were catching some rays on old blankets on the ground, just chillin, when I had a an odd and unexpected sense of something bad about to happen. I learned young that when I have a feeling about something, one that comes out of nowhere and for no logical reason, I had better trust that feeling, so I did. I opened my eyes and sat up. What I saw was moccasin, about a foot from the edge of the blanket at 12:00, 18" from my feet, ¹/² his body on the ground and ¹/² standing straight up, little serpent tongue darting in and out of his pointed little head. I slowly pulled my feet toward my body, at the same time telling my friends to scoot back on the blanket because there’s a snake just in front of us. I didn’t have time to tell them to move because they were already jumping and running, and I didn’t waste any time myself. Both my friends ran screaming to the front of the house and I gave a wide berth to the back door, where I grabbed the .410 off the wall. When I came back out, the screaming had stopped, but it started back again as soon as I fired the shot at the snake. Needless to say, we moved our little party inside, thanking God for the heads up.
7 Likes
You are handy with shotguns!!! One can just see all the youngsters screaming and scampering about as the Commander of the party saves the day!!! Ms El Capitan or La Capitan…the lone gunlady rides off into the sunset…shotgun in hand, beer in the other, ….whispering “i’ll be back”
4 Likes
I think of it as shotguns come in handy it was just elimating a poisonous pest
too near my back door; don’t know if you’re laughing with me or at me, but a laugh is always a good thing 
5 Likes
A few years ago, I was accepted to Law school, but am getting to old…anyways…I married an adopted son, that the wedding was hosted at our place in the country. I Had to become an ordained internet minister. Of course the wedding was all western style and the crowd was fairly good sized, and of course a lot of guns, open carry. The adopted son had made up some cards, unbeknown to us, thinking he would have a laugh and drum up some business for me as a minister. a slogan on the card said my name and the minister company was Marium, Bearium, and Howe". We could provide a full service wedding, with firearms training!
A year or two ago, we need an attorney for a legal issue…300.00 per hour, in our area? are you kidding me? Dewey, Cheatum, and Howe? Anyways found a good ol boy attorney, who smoked like a chimney and got the job done. LOL
4 Likes