What would you do: Protecting yourself from a stalker

Firearm Training Mental Training
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You’ve got a stalker. You’ve politely and firmly told this person you don’t want them in your life for a variety of reasons.

They text and call you at all times of the day and night. You’ve blocked their phone number, so they message you on a social platform. You block them on social media. They text you from their email address and tell you the route you’ve taken home the last three nights…

What do you do? How do you protect yourself?

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If not already, become a responsibly armed American. If not already enrolled, take self defense courses. In addition, go through all the legal steps available, report the stalker to the police, get a protection order, vary your routine, start commuting with another responsibly armed American. In some states, that last email text in combination with the other texts, social media posts, would be enough for an arrest for stalking.

If you don’t already have your home set up in a secure manner, go through the steps to fortify your home, including an alarm system if you can afford it. If not, there are several options for an alarm type system that don’t cost as much as company maintained alarms. Those are most of the legal options I can think of with only 1.5 cups of coffee in me. Options outside of one’s legal recourse are up to each individual and their own conscious. Edit to add, get one of those security noise makers with four legs like mentioned in the other discussion if you don’t already have one.

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I have had stalkers in the past, psycho girl many years ago and more recently a couple years ago. The first one cut my car tires, the last one threatened to kill me and then herself. The first I went through the proper process to get an Order of Protection and her nonsense stopped. The second time the girl was going to kill me and kill herself. I ended up telling her I don’t care and I didn’t care if she killed herself as well. I have dealt with many suicides in my career as a Funeral Director/Embalmer and my experience was that those who threaten to kill themselves never do, it’s those who never say anything to anyone are the ones that will kill themselves. I kept ignoring the girl, changed my number she got bored apparently because of me ignoring her and moved on. I also was fortunate in that I recorded her threats and let my local PD know about her, they paid her a visit to her house and it all stopped. Advice just ignore people more and make good dating choices. This all occurred before Illinois had concealed carry before 2013.

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I have dealt with stalkers at work. We have been trained to help victims of stalking.
1.Restraining Order
2.Document EVERYTHING!Save texts,call records and contacts.
3.Contact a women’s shelter.(They are EXPERTS at helping deal with this)
4. Yes both females and males are stalked
5. Stay in constant contact with officers assigned to your case
6. If you can get a dog small or large they hear better than humans and are natural alarm systems
7. If you can purchase a firearm and get training. A lot of paid are around but where I live local Sheriffs Office offers classes
8. Also remember RESTRAINING ORDERS are just pieces of paper not magical protection .

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Adding to the already excellent lists.

The “head” stuff:

  • Define your boundaries and stick to them. No Contact means NO CONTACT - don’t let them work their way back in by being nice, apologetic, pathetic, needy, or because they seem to be acting normal.
  • Don’t worry if you’re being overly paranoid… be paranoid, you are under threat
  • Don’t make any excuses for their behavior - it doesn’t matter why, what they are doing has to stop and they’ve given up the right to consideration by you or anyone else
  • Don’t let your family or friends talk you out of doing the things you need to in order to protect yourself
  • If you’re having trouble managing the stress, get professional help with a coach or counselor.
  • If you’re not sure if you’re overreacting, same answer - get a counselor to help you evaluate the situation.
  • Coach your kids - where to go if they’re in the house, where to go if they’re in the yard, school, at Gram’s or anywhere else they might be
  • Coach your kids what to do, who to call, what to say

The physical stuff:

  • Install security film on your windows - it’s not expensive or difficult to do
  • Install deadbolts if you don’t have them, and change out the short screws on your strike plates for 3" screws
  • Change your door locks - you may not know who has keys
  • Check your window locks, install blocking bars
  • Inform your work security people and HR, make sure receptionists or other near-door folks know who they should be calling security about
  • Change your children’s school security protocol, who has authorization to contact or pick up your kids
  • Inform any family members or friends who may sit your kids
  • If school, work, family or sitters don’t know the individual, provide a photo so they know who they’re dealing with
  • Ask police or sheriff for a regular drive-by - you might not get it, but it doesn’t hurt to ask
  • Ask the police or sheriff to contact the person about your complaint - sometimes that can put some brakes on the crazy
  • Tell people where you’re going, when you’re going to be there, and check in once you arrive
  • Trust your instincts - if you arrive home and something doesn’t look or feel right, believe your radar, leave, call police for assistance
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