Silly Stuff In The Military

What really silly, ridiculous, and laughable people, events, or experiences have you vets had while you were in the service? When I was stationed in Norfolk, we could keep civvies in lockers that we had to rent off the ship - there were locker “clubs” for this - and change into them when we had liberty. One of my shipmates actually dressed like a COWBOY - complete with a blonde wig and sombrero - to go to country-western places - where he thought he could fit in. You could spot him waiting in a bus-line to go out on the town.

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Not mine, but my cousin was in the Navy.

Following in his father’s footsteps, who was a welder on an aircraft carrier and got to tour Asia after the Korean war, he enlisted right after high school for the same vocation.

The ship he was assigned to was in drydock getting a retrofit, hence they needed welders.

The ship spent three years at a drydock at a base on the southeast US coast before needing to be sailed to a base up north for the final part of the retrofit and the rest of my cousin’s career in the Navy.

The hilarious part is when the ship was sailed north to the other port my cousin was on shore leave back home. So, the only time his ship was out to sea he wasn’t on it. :rofl:

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We had a new, young Private in our unit who was a Hurdler in High School track who said he could jump over 3 side by side strands of Concertina Wire. He was warned by several and told by the NCOIC not to try it.
Well of course he tried it.
His toe caught the top of the center row and he fell right into the middle of the wire.
It took us 40 minutes to cut him free, we had to cut the hardened steel wire, his uniform and him to free him, he had 30 puncture wounds and cuts from the top of his boots to the side of his head. He spent 1 week in the sickbay and was on antibiotics for 2 weeks.
He was given an Article 15 and docked 1 months pay for disobeying a direct order. :rofl: :us:

3 of these, one in front of the other. :roll_eyes:

image

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During my time, on shore duty, at a secret nuclear weapons naval magazine, sometimes people get really bored. It’s a large land mass but a small facility. Maybe 3 occupied buildings, a small parking lot for a team of 30-40 servicemen and a large maintenance building.

The place is seriously guarded by rat trap exit and entry, double razor wired electrical fences, dogs and a few trigger happy Marines. During one particularly quite afternoon a couple of marines decided to test out their M203’s…launching on our parking lot. Luckily my car only suffered a cracked windshield. You had to be there! The debris field was awesome!

On another occasion, someone thought it fun to empty their tear gas canisters in the maintenance building. While doing our rounds that early morning, we stepped into the building and noticed what looked like snow on the ground, well, it doesn’t snow in this part of the world. As we got deeper into the building, investigating, we noticed all parts of our bodies getting hotter and hotter. Eyes are sweating, tongue is burning our lips are the size of inner tubes and our shoes are covered in white dust when we realized, we can’t run out of here without creating a base wide hazmat disaster. Every step taken created a dust storm! Buy now we can’t see squat because we’ve been rubbing the crap out of our eyes and every rub triples the heat, we’re foaming at the mouth, nose and ears! That was the first two minutes, then we called it in.

All the fun started when they came to “rescue” us. From Marines on watch to medical and fire services they all RUSHED into the building creating, what we tried to avoid, a Mount St. Helens event. Since nobody knew what it was or why it covered the ground, the base was locked down and hazmat teams were called in from the surrounding bases. A fun time was had by all!

Yet another occasion at the marine guard station to the Arizona Memorial tourists line up for the small boats. A cute young Japanese couple asked the Marine on duty where the Arizona Memorial was located and he replied, “right where you left it”. Not good for his career.

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In Japan we were out in town, and I had my western gear that I normally wore. We were at the bullet train to head to Nagasaki and while we were waiting for the train to arrive, I pulled out my harmonica and started playing. Five minutes later I had a crowd around me of Japanese men dancing to my playing and when the train did arrive, I received an ovation from at least a 100 people. My 15 minutes of fame. Some of the people were chanting," Cowboy

In Okinawa, at morning formation Lance Corporal Chuck showed up in Bermuda shorts and carrying two cases of beer. Master Gunnery Sargent approached him and told him that he was out of uniform, and he replied," My name is Chuck, and I don’t give a F!" He did after that!

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First things first. There is no single more destructive force on this planet than bored Service Members, and it increases exponentially the more bored they are and how many there are

I might have heard something about a couple of EOD guys on different ships, knocking the gauges off of a couple of Compressed air tanks and shooting them towards others ships in the harbor.

There is nothing

Was all fun and games until deck watch saw the wakes and called torpedo in the water.

I also may have heard about some massively drunk guy putting a rhesus monkey :monkey::monkey_face::monkey: in the XO’s cabin

A) XO was a massive douchebag
B) It probably wasn’t the incredibly drunk guys fault.
In the incredibly drunk guys defense he was left unsupervised.

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I remember reading somewhere that the only thing more dangerous than an employed band of mercenaries is an unemployed band of mercenaries.

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The army airfield I was stationed on in Germany had contractors as guards. We called one of guards, a Polish national, Barney because he carried his ammo in his pockets.

We landed in a remote site with a VIP, a major general (2 star). As we hovered in a guard with his K9 took up a position not far from our Huey. The General took it upon himself to go over a pet the K9. Our next move was medivac, after the dog bite the hell out of his arm and hand.

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That made me glad my bowl of chili got finished before reading this post. Pepper seeds up the nose…not good…

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I do not know if these are silly but while serving in Korea I was a unit police for 6 months and on this one night all was quiet until close to midnight when one of the fence guards whistle went off and i had to run around the outside of the fence to find out what was happening and seen this guy climbing the fence to get back on post. I had to climb halfway up the fence to grab the guy and push off hitting the ground only to find out it was my buddy who did not have a pass to go off post. I asked him why he did not just come in the gate, he would have seen i was on duty.

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I was walking a fence around our air field on Guard Duty late at night. I heard then saw someone coming down the fence line. As this person approached I challenged him, “Front Lean and Rest Position, NOW!”. He responded with “Officer of the Day”, Again I shout "“Front Lean and Rest Position” and unshoulder my M16A1. He drops to the push up position and I called the Sargent of the Guard on my radio. When Sgt. Watson got there he let the guy get up, it was in fact the 2nd Lieutenant OD. He accused me of knowing it was him and that I was being insubordinate. When we went in front of the C.O. he laughed and told Lieutenant Hodges he was lucky he didn’t get shot. Latter the C.O. told me “I know you did that on purpose, we’ll keep that between us…”.

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You was looking for trouble. lol

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We were inside our wire one night during a training mission and everyone was asleep except for the Perimeter Guards and the LPOPs at about 0230 a Hummer comes barreling down the road and right into a section of our triple strand Concertina. The wire was wrapped completely around the Hummer and entangled in all four wheels, the hummer went on for 30 feet after hitting the wire so they must have been been going pretty fast.
We found out later it was 4 MPs out for a joy ride in a new Hummer and were not supposed to be in our training area.
The OIC had to call into Maintenance the next day and have them bring out a cutting torch and various other tools just so the vehicle could be towed out of our area. :rofl: :us:

About 6’ wide and 6’high. All with markers and flags and they still run into it. :roll_eyes:

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:joy: I know they hated that. Sounds like a few Articles 15 to me.

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I just happen to be working at Pearl Harbor, here is a photo I took today from the Battleship Missouri pier:

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All 2LTs need help with their education.

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I have for decades told folks that as a new 2nd Lt I was issued out on a hand receipt to the Chief Master Sergeant (USAF E-9) in my squadron. I knew darn well who was the learner and who was the learned.

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