As far as I can tell, and I have called and inquired even to the NJ State Police Firearms Division, that there is no logical reasoning behind banning hollow points in NJ. I agree with you that it makes sense to carry them as they would not go through and through and kill someone else. They do not penetrate bullet proof vests so they should not worry about that.
I don’t have a carry permit in NJ but I do have a VA Non-Resident (which is not valid in NJ) so I am not in a position to personally address this issue.
In NJ, it might be a long time and a long fight to get things straight.
NJStraightShooter