An elderly woman wants half a head of lettuce at a grocery store, so she tells the young man at the checkout, “I would like to buy half a head of lettuce.” The young man says, “I’m sorry we only sell whole heads of lettuce.” The old woman says, “Well you see I’m old, and I don’t eat very much, and so when I buy a whole head of lettuce, the other half usually goes to waste. Would you ask your supervisor if there is something he could do?” The young man, rolls his eyes, lets out a sigh, and walks into his supervisors office. “Hey, some dumb old hag wants to buy half a head of lettuce…” His supervisor looks up from his desk and is shocked to see the elderly woman had followed the young man. She’s right behind him at the door and heard what he said. The young man turns around, sees her, realizing his mistake blurts out, “But this beautiful young lady would like to buy the other half of that head of lettuce, so it works out, right?” Everything is worked out, the elderly woman leaves happily, and the supervisor says, “That was close. You’re pretty quick on your feet. Where you from?” The young man says, “Oh, me? I’m from Canada, but I left because it’s just filled with hockey players and prost!tutes.” The supervisor, crosses his arms and says, “Hey, my wife is from Canada!” The young man responds, “Oh that’s wonderful… what team does she play for?”
A cleaning old woman was applying for a new position. When asked why she left her last employment, she replied, “Yes sir, they paid good wages, but it was the most ridiculous place I ever worked. They played a game called Bridge, and last night lots of folks were there. As I was about to bring in the refreshments, I heard a man say “Lay down and let’s see what you’ve got.” Another man said, “I’ve got strength but no length.” Another man said to a lady, “Take your hand off my trick.” I pretty near dropped dead just then when the lady answered, “You jumped me twice when you didn’t have the strength for one raise.” Another lady was talking about her protecting her honour, and two other ladies said, Now it’s time for me to play with your husband and you can play with mine. Well, I just got my hat and coat and as I was leaving. I hope to die if I didn’t hear someone say, “Well, I guess we’ll go home now, that was the last rubber.”
Bill will identify as a woman, get sent to a women’s prison🤣
Are you the one in the black dress? 
Personally, I hadn’t noticed their faces, or lack there of, until the BB pointed it out. 
Nah! My LBD (Lil Black Dress) is strapless! Muahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!
A New ‘Oscar’ class Nuclear submarine is unveiled by China, Codenamed ‘Myer’ boiled down to be a serious threat to the safety and security of the United States!—To be ‘Frank’ Sonar Operators nicknamed her the ‘Furter!’…. I had ya going there didn I? ‘Nathans’ around the world are trying to get her to advertise their next Coney Island event! ARGH! Story by BUN E. King!
Must(ard) I continue?, I relish the thoughts you have on this subject,…. 
A NEW
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It’s actually a real story on MSN
North Korean leader Kim Jong Un has examined an “8,700-ton nuclear-powered strategic guided missile submarine,” state media reported on Thursday, releasing the first complete photographs of the vessel.
Kim bragged about the project’s sophisticated progress while positioning it as an essential defense against South Korea’s recent declaration of intentions to construct its own nuclear-powered submarine with U.S. help on fuel provision. We tink dis is a weal Weiner! in da Arms race! says Propaganda Minister Chong yong dog Fat
MERRY CHRISTMAS YA FILTHY ANIMALS! 
The black squares are religious and Epstein was a politician? 