Ramping up for national fart day
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A former boss called me an “excel wizard.” I believed it then and still believe it now that it was an exaggeration. However, I do believe I’m good at it.
One day, I put all my usernames and passwords in an excel spreadsheet,
password protect the sheet,
and password protect the workbook.
I forgot the workbook password.
Everything was forgotten and lost. 
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Looks better then fruit cake.
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A lawyer, a priest, and a young boy were in a plane that was going to crash, yet they only had 2 parachutes.
The lawyer proclaimed that since he was the smartest man on the plane, he deserved to survive. He took a chute and jumped.
The priest looks at the young boy, and reflecting back on his life, tells the young boy to take the last parachute since he has already lived a wonderful and full life.
The boy replied
"You can have the other chute because the smartest man on this plane just jumped out with my bookbag!”
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