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Pregnancy Q&A
Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.
Q: I’m two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.
Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby’s sex?
A: Childbirth.
Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she’s borderline irrational.
A: So what’s your question?
Q: My childbirth instructor says it’s not pain I’ll feel during labor but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes in the same way that a Tornado might be called an air Current.
Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you’re pregnant.
Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
A: Not unless the word -alimony’ mean anything to you
Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.
Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby’s diaper very quickly.
Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.
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I was mugged by a thief last night on my way home.
Pointing a knife at me … He asked me “your money or your life!”
I told him I am Married… so I have no money and no life…
We hugged and cried together.
It was a beautiful moment…
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Yup, her tank top was an upside down pair of tighty whities.
I’m excited because of her tramp stamp tattoo.
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Windy day balloon man.
If I were he, I’da opened a back door, climbed in with the balloons, closed the door, opened the other one, and climbed out.
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