An airline pilot had just died and was waiting at the Golden Gate where St Peter was sitting scrutinizing the people who arrived. Behind him was a High Cleric Priest with the rank of Senior Cardinal.
When St Peter saw the pilot, he smiled a heartwarming smile and exclaimed: Oh dear friend, you don’t need to wait, just walk on right in……
The Cardinal got a little upset here and said: -I should go first. I have devoted all my days to God and what has he ever done to deserve God’s grace?
St Peter looked at the Cardinal and he said: - No, you should more likely be down (pointing down)there but my friend here is always welcome into heaven.
-So, how can a pilot who’s live around, drinking and being crazy about beautiful girls be so loved by God?
-Well, said St Peter. Look, every Sunday, you were preaching to people in the Church about the Bible and how they would be punished if they didn’t follow the book. So, what happened? People were sleeping over the benches instead.
-No, when people were flying with our dear friend here, service to God was excellent. People have never prayed so much in their lives as when our friend here was flying the plane. -So you see, you belong down there and he belongs here……….
A man was driving to work one morning.
Suddenly, he hears a police siren and sees the familiar flashing red and blue lights in his rearview mirror.
He drives on a little bit further, hoping the police will pass him to pull over someone ahead of him.
When that doesn’t happen, he finally pulls over.
The police officer walks up to his window and asks for his license and registration.
As the man hands them over, he says, “Officer, I have a good explanation for why I was speeding.”
The Officer responds, “Well, make it good or you’re getting a ticket. Especially since you didn’t pull over right away.”
The man says, “I can explain that, too.”
Police officer, “Okay, but this better be good, because I’ve heard them all.”
Man says, “You see, my wife ran off with a Police Officer last month.”
Officer says, “And?”
“I thought you might be him trying to return her.”