Welcome to Aftermath, a portion of our First Line email newsletter where Attorney Anthony L. DeWitt walks you through a real-life self-defense incident and shares his key takeaways.
A Connecticut man accompanied a woman and her son to help her estranged husband move out of his recently sold residence. While items were being moved downstairs, a fight broke out upstairs. Hearing a gun shot, the man, along with the woman’s son, rushed to investigate and found the woman had been shot. The estranged husband shot her again and, when the son tried to protect his mother, shot the boy as well. The shooter then turned his gun on the defender, who drew his firearm and fired first. The defender called the police and requested medical assistance, but the mother and son were already dead. The attacker also died from his wounds.
If you know tension exists between people you’re assisting, how do you balance being prepared for danger with avoiding an escalation? What would you have done differently?
I would have instructed the woman and her son not to be there. Get someone else to do it.
When my ex-wife decided she didn’t want to live with me any longer, she said she would come by and pick up her stuff when I was at work. I agreed. What she didn’t know until she got there was I had already carried all her stuff outside on the curb and the locks had been changed so she couldn’t get back in the house.
I understand the woman in this story may have only been trying to help, but after a breakup tensions are high and the littlest thing could set someone off. Best advice is to not be there and don’t let them back in the house.
I helped one of my son’s friends move out of his uncles house, uncle had threatened him, tension was definitely high…. I was armed,… so was the kids dad who is a Colorado highway patrol officer! (Off duty of course)
I had recommended that he call our local PD, but he didn’t want to do that because his uncle is a felon and a bit of a dumbass and he didn’t want him to go back to jail.
Uncle stayed pretty level headed with kids dad and myself both packing heat, kids out of there and everyone is safe now.
I had plenty of police involvement In evicting my ex-girlfriend, all her stuff was outside, I was home and had the doors and windows locked when she showed up to get her stuff…. I already had her on video showing up while I was at work and threatening my kids…. So the police showed up shortly after she did!
She unplugged my security camera, and I called the officer to inform him and request it be plugged back in…..
When it finally rebooted he was STILL chewing her ass about how limited her rights were in that situation!
TLDR;
Don’t go into a sketchy situation unarmed and unprepared, call for police presence ahead of time!
In my forty five years of law enforcement experience, I have learned that domestic situations are the most unpredictable setting one could find themselves in. Knowing that the husband was estranged, returning to the home with her son was inviting trouble. I would have advised her not to do so, and if she simply had to, request the presence of police officers. Even then, given the unpredictability of domestic unrest, there is no guarantee that violence would have occurred anyway. Probably the best outcome would have them not go to the house at all.
Connecticut guy unfortunately did not follow John Farnam’s “Rule of Stupids”. Do not go to stupid places and do stupid things with stupid people. He’s armed. He accompanies a woman and son to the residence of her estranged husband to move belongings. Did he give any thought to what estranged husband was going to think when he saw him with his ex-wife? That they are just “friends”? Second question, why is the wife-son moving ostensibly the husband’s belongings out of his residence? Doesn’t “being separated” mean just that? So the result is three people are dead, one of whom was killed by Connecticut man. I don’t know what the gun laws are like in Connecticut but if they’re anything like they are in California, this fellow is in serious trouble. If I were a zealous DA I would try to prove that Connecticut guy deliberately provoked a confrontation with the (former?) husband and if there was any relationship between him and the woman, I would say that he has some serious ‘splainin’ to do. To answer the original question, I would have been unavailable for any assistance in this matter.
I would have contacted law enforcement to send an officer to protect the peace. Knowing there was animosity between the two parties there was no reason for this confrontation to have taken place to begin with. Three people are dead, two of them innocent, over a situation that could have been easily avoided.
I would think the Connecticut guy could have some serious legal repercussions to deal with and would certainly have a hard case to defend if the survivors of the dead man brought a law suit for wrongful death.
The defender didn’t prevent anything. In fact, his presence may have escalated the situation. Don’t get involved in someone else’s personal, Emotional, relationships. Mind your own business.
It’s only “stuff.” Not worth the risk when the husband is present. Turn around and leave. In my 30+ LE experience, too many people are injured or killed to get STUFF. Having said that, looks like justifiable use of force.
That’s Ridiculous !!! … we have an obligation to protect lives Whenever we possibly can .. .The gentleman helping did the right thing.Forget about the Castle doctrine! The gentleman helping prevented a deranged man from possibly harming others . 5 stars to the gentleman helping. Furthermore We….Expect USCCA to have our back in this particular issue especially ,if we are not protected by the USCCA ….then what is the sense of having it . This is where we rely on the USCCA .. To have our back ! The Gentleman was without a doubt ….In The Right !!!
Hi James 1680. Great comment. I’m sure your years of experience and training will be of great benefit to the community.Thamk you for being willing to share.
