I have a very good woman at my side
Reminds me of some discussions with certain guys who claim their grrrl REALLY loves them. I tell them:
“Hand her a loaded firearm, and turn your back on her…”
My grrrl’s got my back.
don
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Mechanically separated meat AKA “Pink Slime”?
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My girl has my back but unfortunately she would look down the barrel to see if it’s loaded. She has zero interest in guns or learning about firearms. Love her to no end though.
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Just don’t eat McDonald’s Brother, That’s all I have to say about dat!
Shivering in me timber’s just thinking 'bout it!
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I was at Marc’s buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Willie, the Wonder Dog, which weighs 23 lbs.
I was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had an elephant?
So because I’m retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn’t have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again.
I added that last time I lost 50 pounds but I probably shouldn’t do it again , because I ended up in the hospital and woke up in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that it works is to load your jacket pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again.
At this point practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me.
I told her no, I stopped to Pee on a Fire Hydrant and a car hit me,
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.
Marc’s won’t let me shop there anymore. Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the World to think of crazy things to say
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That’s some funny shizz.
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