@Tom56, a couple more thoughts. Would Bob be willing to join the forum here and perhaps talk with us, either publicly or privately? I am sure there are people here would be more than willing to have conversations with Bob.
Also, I know its closing the barn door after the horses are out, but here is a post of something I made a couple years ago. Perhaps going through the process of making something like this can help him feel like he is regaining control and taking steps to actively create a safer environment.