Kamala Harris has been very secretive about her policies — in fact, no one really knows if she even has any. Unbeknownst to everyone, however, Kamala has been preparing several policies this whole time.
In a world exclusive, The Babylon Bee has gone deep undercover to find the following list of secret policies Kamala Harris and Tim Walz want to institute when they are elected:
Get rid of dividers between urinals: Tim Walz was reportedly a big proponent of this one.
A new tax on money you saved by purchasing something on sale: What are you trying to do, rob Uncle Sam? Nice try.
Outlaw males: Tim Walz wouldn’t be affected by this one.
Institute special joy camps where people without sufficient joy can go: Get ready for the happiest gulags you could ever imagine.
Re-tax all taxed taxes: The re-taxed taxed taxes will then be taxed again just in case they missed anything.
All McDonald’s Happy Meals will now come with a free tampon: Start training them while they’re young.
Require proof of transgenderism for assault weapon purchases: Trans rights are gun rights.
Kill all white people: The white supremacy problem will be solved once and for all.
Outlaw interviews with the president: Cutting down on misinformation, one step at a time.
Make every month Pride Month: Why would we even want to have other months if they’re not going to be gay?
Finally, voters can know where Kamala Harris and Tim Walz stand on such important issues that so many people are concerned about. Remember, a vote for Harris-Walz is a vote for taxpayer-funded energy-efficient mosques in every American city!
I think #8) MIGHT ENCOUNTER SOME “RESISTANCE” YA THINK?
“The Bubble Pirate” found himself facing criminal treatment after attempting to bring joy to children at a public park in California.
Sandy Snakenberg, a 63-year-old disabled homeless veteran and self-proclaimed “bubbleologist,” was simply blowing bubbles when he was cited on Aug. 24 at La Jolla Cove in San Diego by Rangers with San Diego Parks and Recreation for “liquid littering.”
In the state of California, where the streets are marred by the waste of the growing homeless population, it’s ironic that a bubble-blowing disabled veteran is being penalized for littering.
The city insists that the “Bubble Pirate’s” actions are more serious than they seem.
“In this instance,” a city spokesperson told KGTV-TV, “park rangers attempted to educate the individual numerous times that the residual substances from the bubbles are in violation of the City’s municipal code as it relates to littering.
Mucking Reedikulus! The Worlds got Mad I tell you!
Seems to me that blowing soap bubbles (especially VERY large ones) would help clean up the streets and should be required of every person present outside and using any street, sidewalk or park . It might also benefit the quality of life and increase property values, as well.
Soap bubbles= Littering
Children experiencing ‘JOY’= Illegal
Disabled Vet making people happy= Can’t have that!
Public display of Major Narcotic drug use= Legal
Public Defecation= Legal
California City Council= FASCISTS!
Is it just me? I can’t laugh a the truth anymore!
I know that’s meant to be funny, I’m just taking this stuff too seriously?
There’s a chance all of it could come to pass.
If so, I’m not going to take it well!
Phuck with my money or my happy meal and there will be repercussions!
Mr. Scott, “Beam me up there’s no intelligent life left down here”
The strain is palpable. People are feeling it
Even the Sheeple, though Lord knows they may be too Indoctrinated
to know what/who is doing it. Simple fact (MOO!) is they BLAME all
their Woe’s on Donald Trump—He hasn’t been in Office for almost (4) years yet the
likes of Galen1 and the Media, Politicians make him the Boogie-man for all their
current problems and Social unrest (that THEY created!) It’s absolutely amazing
people fall for the sh!t they do. The hook is firmly set in their mouths and they don’t
even know it.
I’d rather be US and see the oncoming fight than it thrust upon us (before the Election) and be Blindsided. At least we are ready for the fight. Being clueless (Blue Pill) is mucked-up. I don’t recommend it.
God Bless my Warrior. Stay Frosty Brother. We need you in this coming War.
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