U.S. — A film legend was memorialized today as the nation’s men announced plans to honor Val Kilmer by quoting Tombstone all day long, just like they always do.
With the news of Kilmer’s death breaking late last night, American men collectively banded together to pay tribute to the late performer by doing the same thing they do every other day — communicating almost exclusively through Tombstone quotes.
“Skin that smoke wagon and see what happens,” said mourning Kilmer fan Michael Garrison. “Yeah, we’re all really heartbroken about the loss of Val. We wanted to do something special to pay our respects. We decided the best thing to do was quote Tombstone all day long, just like we do every day. You’re a daisy if ya do!”
Other Kilmer fans agreed with the sentiment. “I’ve got two guns… one for each of ya,” said Mark Talbot. “It’s a shame to hear about Val Kilmer passing away. He gave the world the greatest gift he could possibly give — his performance as Doc Holliday in Tombstone. It’s our responsibility… our duty… to honor him by doing the same thing we do every day of our lives. Thank you, Val. Rest well, sir. We are all… your huckleberry.”
At publishing time, the nation’s wives issued a collective press release asking their husbands to stop responding to every question with “Say when.”
‘You ain’t no daisy at all!’
‘I’ve not yet begun to defile myself!’
‘Why Johnny Ringo, looks like somebody just walked over your grave!’
‘’ Go grab that spirited actress and make her your own. Take that beauty and run, and don’t look back. Live every second. Live right up to the hilt. Live, Wyatt. Live for me.”
OH LORD, I’m going to miss Val—Gone way too soon!
