Mysterious User ‘OrangeMan47’ Snatches Up All Border Wall Materials In Online Auction
U.S.·Dec 13, 2024 · BabylonBee.com
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U.S. — Just days after news leaked that President Joe Biden was quietly selling unused border wall construction materials via online auction, presumably as a gesture of defiance against incoming President Donald Trump, a mysterious user named “OrangeMan47” swooped in to purchase every listing.
Evidence indicated OrangeMan47 was a new account on GovPlanet, the online auction house used by the Biden administration. The account has zero user feedback and an incomplete profile, but President Biden was unconcerned. “Money is money,” the president said. “Whether it comes from someone in the United States… or Ukraine… or China… or… or… wherever. I’m happy to take money from… from… the places. Listen, folks, we just want to unload this wall stuff before that other guy takes power. We’ve got to keep it away from him.”
The construction materials auctioned off included large steel bollards and bags of concrete, with various lots being auctioned off in separate sales with bidding starting at just $5. Now, OrangeMan47 has purchased it all at a significant discount.
A review of the sale from OrangeMan47 read:
These are bargain bin prices. Can be used to build a big, beautiful wall. Would buy from again! A++++ MAGA!
Administration officials admitted they were not aware of the buyer’s identity. “It doesn’t matter who buys it, really,” said one White House source. “As long as it’s all been sold off before Trump takes office, we’ll be good. I can’t wait to see the look on his face when he finds out all his precious border wall materials are gone.”
At publishing time, OrangeMan47 had reportedly requested to be allowed to pay for the auction with limited edition Trump collectible NFT trading cards.
You know my Friends it’s kinda scary (in a great way) just how much President Donald Trump as done already, how much he KNOWS (kinda like Santa), His Administration picks are spot on, He’s already ‘re-connected’ with World Leaders and with ‘Geriatric Pudding Pants’ trying to do a Doctor Strangelove on the Country before he’s buried on the Beach he’s holding this country together. For all the Disruptions, the Daniel Penny case. Racial tension that thankfully hasn’t amounted to squat, Penny received his Christmas present early this week being invited to the ‘Army-Navy’ game (Navy Won 31-13!) marked a’ IN YOUR FACE NOTE RACISM/Lawfare against a Hero will not be tolerated!'.
That alone should give us all an early Christmas present for under the tree this year.
You know when on Christmas EVE everything (@ least for me), the air outside is a little crisper and cleaner, The Lights a little more vivid, the Cocoa a little more chocolaty, the Cats not trying to fell the Christmas tree… well, 3 outta 4 ain’t bad on the Eve when Christ was born huh?
I feel hopeful for this country’s future.
God Bless WARRIOR’S!
MERRY CHRISTMAS! SANTA ORANGE IS IN DA HOUSE!
Where We Go 1 We Go All
No Step ona Snek
