Well, I can’t really say 45 is not for her. I tried to tell people that a gun is up to the person who holds it, how comfortable it feels in their hand. One gun for you may not feel good to another. With that being said I think she need to go to a range that Sells, Has a range that allows you to rent their guns. She needs to pick up many guns to feel how comfortable they are to her.
Then she needs to take those guns, and fire them.
She may wanna 45, but that may be too strong when she shoots it, or she may love it.
I took my wife shopping for her firearm and they wanted to give her a 45 which I was completely against. She fired my Glock 19 once and felt that it was kind of overpowering for her but a 45 Would be way too much. She did settle on a Smith and Wesson LD9 which I think is still too big for her hand but she liked it.
It’s all about what’s comfortable for the shooter