I remember going to buy a pack of cigarettes for me and saying that they were for my mom, for 25 cents.
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Nah man, that’s from the dollop of sour cream they dropped on the floor an hour earlier and never cleaned up. Then when they went to make your taco they dropped the shell into it and went with it.
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Thats me right there Wanda LOL
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@Arnie_W me too!
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An old married couple no sooner hit the pillows when the old man passes gas and says, ‘Seven Points.’
His wife rolls over and says, ‘What in the world was that?’ The old man replied, ‘its fart football.’
A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says, ‘Touchdown, tie score…’
After about five minutes the old man lets another one go and says, ‘Aha. I’m ahead 14 to 7.’
Not to be outdone the wife rips out another one and says, ‘Touchdown, tie score.’
Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says, ‘Field goal, I lead 17 to 14.’ Now the pressure is on for the old man.
He refuses to get beaten by a woman, so he strains real hard.
Since defeat is totally unacceptable, he gives it everything he’s got, and accidentally poops in the bed.
The wife says, ‘What the hell was that?’
The old man says, 'Half time, switch sides.
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I remember going out to the barn pullin’ some dried tobacco off and rollin’ it up and smokin’ it!
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