Dad, are we pyromaniacs? Yes, we arson.
She was only a moonshiner’s daughter, but I miss her still.
What do you call a pig with laryngitis? Disgruntled.
Why do bees stay in their hives during winter? S-warm.
Just so everyone is clear, I’m going to put my glasses on.
I lost my job as a stage designer. I left without making a scene.
Never buy flowers from a monk. Only you can prevent florist friars.
How much did the pirate pay to get his ears pierced? A buccaneer.
I once worked at a cheap pizza shop to get by. I kneaded the dough.
I lost my girlfriend’s audiobook, and now I’ll never hear the end of it.
Why is ‘dark’ spelled with a k and not c? Because you can’t “c” in the dark.
Why is it unwise to share your secrets with a clock? Well, time will tell.
When I told my contractor I didn’t want carpeted steps, they gave me a blank stare.
Scientists got together to study the effects of alcohol on a person’s walk, and the result was staggering.
I’m trying to organize a hide and seek tournament, but good players are really hard to find.
I got over my addiction to chocolate, marshmallows, and nuts. I won’t lie, it was a rocky road.
What do you say to comfort a friend who’s struggling with grammar? There, their, they’re.
I went to the toy store and asked the assistant where the Schwarzenegger dolls are and he replied, “Aisle B, back.”
What did the surgeon say to the patient who insisted on closing up their own incision? Suture self.
I’ve started telling everyone about the benefits of eating dried grapes. It’s all about raisin awareness.
But remember to post your Memes not DAD Jokes- JK
They don’t teach that in school anymore, just like cursive, that is now called an ancient language.
MEME WAR UPDATE
@Todd30 I want a re-count!
Scoring will be posted at the end of the competition. By the way, LIKES are a key component to the scoring!
Breakdown regarding quality of Memes…because @Todd30 cheats…
Witty, if people LOL, 10 or more likes 10
Silly but funny nonetheless 5
Anything by @OldDude49 0
People still working but spend time
On the site despite the threat of
Losing their job 10
Punny stuff 3
Underlying sexual implications
Including talk of “boobs” 10 - It will get 10 likes anyway…
Tangential conversations about
Weird stuff like electric cars -80
Posts by women (ahem) + additional 50
Did I miss anything??
If you have 100 - 5 likes it benefits you too! Not as much as 11 - 20 likes
or If you have a post removed, it does not benefit you!
The number of posts will not be a part of the scoring for there are those that can post every stupid meme there is and get some likes!
Think of it as an average amount of likes with top three likes amount and the median/2 =W to accumulate your score.
Just remember, it is about quality!