This year especially, many parents are enjoying getting into a regular school year routine again.
If you’re like a lot of parents of school-age kids, your day may include waking kids up, getting them fed and on the bus, picking kids up from sports after school, helping with homework, and ensuring they go to bed at a decent hour. And, unfortunately, you may also be hearing about your child being bullied.
What percentage of students report being bullied?
What do you teach your children to do when they’re being bullied?
Report being bullied? I think the numbers are far lower than those who are bullied.
My experience with bullies - as one who was bullied - was that only violence in return had any impact. It’s the only language they understand.
It may not be right, but it’s truth.
Now, did I teach my daughter that? No, I didn’t. However, she learned it on her own.
Happy anniversary @OldGnome and God bless you with good health and long life. Nice to have you as part of the community/family brother.
My kids are grown and they are men now. But when they were kids both learned tae kwon do karate and were good at it. I taught them never to be an aggressor even though they knew how to take care of themselves. I never encourage violence but taught them to avoid situations. Be that as it may a bully will always exist. I also advised them to stick up for themselves and to speak up or come to me if someone is bullying them. Only my oldest son who is now 38 once got into an incident in high school where a bully thought he was a punk. It didn’t turn out to good for him after a palm strike from my son broke his nose. I don’t agree with the way schools are handling these reports on bullying, they try to sweep it under the rug and that’s how kids being bullied become mass shooters. I advise parents to make surprise visits to there child’s schools when they get a chance and talk to there teachers and counselors.
It’s for real around here. 2 of my kids were seriously bullied. One, who is an amateur fighter now, took care of business on the spot. My other son went from straight 'A’s to dropping out in the matter of 2 years. In each case the school exclaimed their Zero Tolerance policy and gave all involved days off, nothing more. I was bullied in Jr High, until I fought back, after that I was known as the crazy guy not to be messed with.
It’s unfortunate that bullying is still an issue. I suspect many of us have been victims of physical or phycological bullying at some point and to different extremes, each leaving their own scars. Collectively, as a community, we can help fight bullying by following the path of “see something, do something”. As protectors this includes confronting a bully directly or at minimum reporting to the proper authority. I too was bullied as a youth and still carry the insecurities from that to this day. Let’s just say I was in need of some front teeth correction It doesn’t bother me like it once did, (many thanks to my orthodontist) but it does find its way to the front of my thought from time to time. We all must do better and teach our children and others from upcoming generations to do better. Bullying is not okay and not to be allowed or tolerated.
May peace be with you and your families.
I tend to agree with OldGnome. Had a guy back when I was in jr high who would always come up to me and punch me in the arm for whatever reason. One day I punched him in the mouth. That resolved that. These days, however, you’d have charges pressed, federal time, and 100 years of worthless counseling sessions (I had to hear the worthless words of unrealistic social workers for years as a child).
Happy Anniversary @OldGnome glad you’re here, to bad the cake isn’t real. Have a good one.
I taught my kids to fight back, like I did when I was younger.
The best defense is offense.
It is unfortunate most schools proclaim “0 tolerance” for violence, without trying to separate victim from bully. It should not be a surprise given how much we learned about teachers and school boards in the past 2 years. To some extent the situation resembles what happens in the self-defence incident once our system of justice appears on the scene, including “race to 911”, or who cries to the teacher 1st, and other nasty aspects that don’t belong even in the adult world.
Never leave your child alone against the system. Don’t just tell you son or daughter they have to deal with it, that it is their fight, etc. If you can afford it, hire an attorney, bring it to the bully’s parents, they feed him, clothe her - let them feel fear. Let individual teachers and the school district understand if they pay lip service to their policy, they will pay from their wallet. If you cannot afford legal action - move the child to another school, move off the X.
I’m from that old school the only thing a bully understands is a good ass whooping, and most of the bullies that I end up whooping their ass, we became good friends
I too was bullied in elementary school. Dad put me in Judo, taught me self-confidence! Once I began standing up for myself, most of the bullies became my good friends (and still are to this day)!
If your kid is a bully, you’re failing them as a parent!
thank you AL34, God bless you and your family
At the time I would have said I could do without the bullying in elementary school and junior high, but I don’t think I would be as competent a man today if I hadn’t gone through it. Kids need to he kept safe from torment, not from challenges. We need to intervene when things cross a certain threshold. Everything in excess can have unexpected and negative consequences, including fostering the feeling that somebody will always be there to protect you.
And yet, I still wrestle with internal demons because of it.
I was bullied by not only other kids, but teachers as well… in elementary, the gym teacher’s first activity EVERY Thursday was to have the students dog pile me. 5th grade… the teacher said “the kids don’t want to play with you… go sit over there”, one day while sitting “over there” a dog come up to me and we started playing-- that same teacher said “that dog don’t want to play with you- leave it alone”. 7th grade… the science teacher (yes, I remember his name) would take me out back of the school an put me in one of those “escape” window wells and let other students take shots at me. 8th grade… I rode a bus to and from school and a certain teacher would say “wait for me in the classroom” (where I could see the buses lined up) and after the last bus left she would say “you can go now”. 9th grade was the worst ever-- I was finally kicked out of school forever --I won’t say why here, but the reason ended all bullying.
ALL this to say… It made me the man I am today, and as @OldGnome said… “And yet, I still wrestle with internal demons because of it.”
Bullies got to say what they would to my son but if they touched him he was instructed by me and did bust them in the nose. Happened once in Jr high and once in high school, never happened again. When called In the principals office I repeated our don’t touch policy. They said we couldn’t have this policy. I suggested they tell the bullies to stay away because that was indeed our policy.