It’s not my fault!

Good evening!

My straight “A” high schooler did not do so well on a quiz. As a result, the overall grade fell to a “D.” My wife and I have always focused on effort and not grades. We will take a tough “C” over a soft “A” any day of the week. I began to ask questions. Some of which are listed below.

  1. How comfortable and confident were you while taking the quiz?

  2. Do you feel as if you second guessed yourself?

  3. Were you allowed to use notes while taking the quiz?

Pause… let’s focus on the question number 3.

“The teacher did not assign or require a note book as part of the school supplies list.” Me…:eyes::eyes::eyes:

For the record, no notes were taken.

I explained the fundamentals of learning. Mind you, I am not educator so bare with me…

  1. Pay attention
  2. Seek clarity in order to understand
  3. Establish a connection to something you already understand or mastered.
  4. Take “notes” for future reference. More importantly, you will find yourself reading the material as you write which creates memory of the understanding.

I had to explain reality. “The quiz results were not related to the school supplies list. It was related to how you studied. Your success thus far is directly based on your effort and commitment regardless of subject or activity.”

As parents, we cannot allow our children to assign blame without exhausting their actions and inactions toward a problem. We cannot allow them to carry the “it’s not my fault” torch any further.


Bless your heart. I couldn’t agree more!


This is a wise philosophy I wish many entitled adults would learn. Very well stated. I’ll bet you’re a great parent.


As a parent of a 13 year old boy I am so tired of hearing ‘the teacher didn’t…’, he can’t seem to grasp that he has to be responsible for himself. I feel your pain.


Well said sir. I am just now starting to wade into the world of education with my 4 YO starting young 5’s kindergarten this year. This story is an excellent life lesson for all of us with children to teach that we are responsible for ourselves. That includes food, shelter, education, security. It takes nothing to show up and sit in a class. It takes engagement to learn. And I like your list of the fundamentals of learning, which really comes down to engagement with the educator and being an active participant in the learning process.

Now, question for all of us on the forum. What is your approach to learning when you take a class? Even if it has no classroom instruction, how many of you carry a small notepad and pen/pencil in your pocket? How many have asked an instructor to pause for a second so that you could jot down a piece of information that seemed particularly relevant to you? You might be surprised to know how much just the act of writing something down, even if you never look at it again, will reinforce a point in your brain.


Very wise!

I could apply this to my self-defense fundamentals as well as my course work :joy::joy::joy:


@Brian139 It’s funny you asked. I provided my high schooler an example from the day prior. I attempted USCCA’s class on “Navigating The Law After A Self-Defense Incident.” Nowhere in the course description did it advise what to bring. Guesss what, I arrived with a notepad and pen. I took notes, participated and asked questions. We are responsible for ourselves.


I seen they were having one of those seminars here in Louisiana too.