That is precisely how I feel, and why I taught my son how to handle bullies, and it was not by running away and telling a teacher. He had tried that approach to no avail. Typically bullies are cowards that never expect resistance. They don’t want to get punched in the nose, or kicked in the jewels any more than the next person. Sometimes force must be met with force.
Isn’t that the reason we carry rather than just planning to run away, or beg for mercy from a deranged criminal?
I believe a bully has something wrong with him or her, something is broken in their mind. It may not entirely come from family, or from trauma. It is a disorder, especially if we are talking beyond middle school, adult bullying is widespread from college to work place to nursing home even.
I remember one kid from my teen years. He would become unbearable, just kept coming and coming at you. Punch him in the nose -wow, now he talks like a friend, can communicate normally. He would be good for a couple of months, then another treatment would be required.
Well, you are no longer talking suspension in school. You are always bigger than the other person with a weapon on your belt. Many combat experts will tell you to temper your ego when you face an idiot.
I am not looking at it from an ego stand point, rather as a protector. And yes, I did protect kids against bullies during school…many, many years ago. By that same mind set I am a protector today.
I’ve been raising my boy that words are just words. Weak people will try to tear you down. Who cares what they think. However NOBODY gets to puts hands on you that you don’t want touching you. And that he’ll never get in trouble for standing his ground. As his brother grows older he too will be taught this. This summer he becomes old enough to join jujitsu and he couldn’t be more excited.
I agree with the article we’ve been raising victims. At some point everyone will be challenged and of course you feel weak, insecure and worthless for shrinking down. Failure isn’t a bad word. Learn, train harder and move on.
After thousands of recess and lunch duty assignments I developed sudden temporary blindness , usually occurring simultaneously with a retaliatory attack against a known bully. Don’t worry about my health. It always resolved itself quickly.
Yeah this guy pretty much nailed it.
I’ve only ever had but a few rules for my daughter. She was a nationally ranked All-Star Flyer (doubt many know or care) but she has always been at the height and peak of performance physically.
Most important rule. If you tell the truth, you will not get in trouble. If I find the truth on my own, rule #1 still stands if you are honest with your answer.
Before TV or playtime, Homework, chores and exercises. Homework was done before she got home usually, chores was a 6’ by 11’ rug she vacuumed. exercises were stretches her coach gave her to keep her flexible.
Get in trouble at school, you get in trouble at home.
I am out of town and school calls and tells me there has been an incident. I get there as fast as I can… when I arrive boy sitting outside with big angry bruise on arm.
Go in and ask what happened? Principal starts to answer, I tell her I am not talking to you. My daughter tells me she got up from her seat and the boy had taken it and that if she (my daughter) didn’t like it, he would choke slam her, so she pinched him. I asked her if this was true, my daughter said yes and the principal said yes.
There was this little pack of jackals headed up by a young lady who’s mother screamed discrimination every time her daughter got called out for bullying.
Well I had 4 run ins with the school over this girl and her clique trying to bully my daughter,because my daughter had tried defending another little girl.
I asked if the children could leave the room and I pulled out my 4 previous tapes (Alabama is a 1 party consent state, for recording audio). Of the Principal saying they were afraid of disciplining the bullying child because they were afraid of her mother. Then I played the one of that day.
The calmer and quieter my voice gets, the more I am throttling my anger.
I told them they were going to solve the problem immediately about the bullying, that there would be no consequences to my daughter or they would see me and my attorney. That if they thought the other parent was bad, wait and see what I did with my attorney.
I had my attorney prepare a letter for the school board along with notorized transcripts of the tapes and what I planned if they did not stop this bullying immediately.
After we finished the talking amongst the grown ups. The children were allowed back in. Had my daughter tell me what had happened again, gave her a high 5 and asked her where her and her friend would like to go to dinner and then we would go to DQ afterwards.
I try to support the law and the rules as much as possible, but there are things I will not stand for. My wife and my daughter, are those things.
Great article, thanks for posting.
Good article. I have always taught my kids to stand up for the little guy.
About 10 years ago, my son (in middle school at the time) got in trouble for fighting. When I went to the principal’s office with him, I found out that he standing up for a classmate who had CP. He decked the bully and dared him to stand up.
When I asked the principal what he should have done in that situation, we were told he should have gone to get a teacher.
So, he’s supposed to leave a kid with a bully and go try to find a teacher???
I turned to my son and told him, “Well done. If it happens again, I will expect you to do the same thing you did this time.” I looked back to the principal and asked him if there was anything else. He just smiled and said, “Have a nice day.”
I feel bad for a lot of teachers who are caught in the leftist environment that is most of mainstream education. I was pleased and relieved to see there are still some people out there who can think critically about the policies they are told to enforce and see their way clear to do the right thing.