I think my wife is out to get me

I’m not crazy or I don’t think I am. I’m not a huge fan of any particular Professional sports team. Its more that I follow a few players.

So during the first half of Super Bowl 52, the Atlanta Falcons are beating the brakes off of the Patriots. I’m not a fan of the Patriots. I am a fan of Gronk, Eidelman and Brady. I say oh well and go to bed.

As we all know, Patriots pull off the biggest come from behind victory in Superbowl History, in the second half.

I buy my annual Superbowl Championship hat, and put it with the others. Except I pay the money to get an autograph from Gronk.

For some reason yesterday my wife decided that my hats need washing, and then needed to be run thru the dryer. What comes out is not a semi cool collection of hats. Instead, a big melted mass of fabric, stickers, plastic, and rubber come out in one big amorphous blob.

She then tells me, “don’t worry honey I can fix this”.

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You cant make this s**t up

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Yeah, I am mildly curious where she is going to get the Gronk autograph from.

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Yup, she Hates you. :rage: Better have the dogs taste test your food for awhile. :rofl:

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I’m sorry…:disappointed_relieved:

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Clearly she’s out to get your hats, not you.

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The hats are only the beginning, :imp: Beware. :rage:

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I would but I’m fairly certain my dogs would be in on it too. :eyes:

She feeds them.

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I worry when my wife gets a s**t eating grin on her face and silent.

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She brought me my favorite breakfast and puppers noped out on me. I figured today was a good day for pop tarts. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

P.S. Secret NSA guy who’s list I am on this is all in good fun… Unless she really is out to get me. :crazy_face::eyes::innocent:

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I think you need to turn this into a reason for a new gun. Or two. Or three. Just sayin.

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I brought this up, very emphatically, as I am the injured party . I belief if I translated it correctly. Her reply was “yeah right”. I decided a “yes, you are right honey”, was my best response. It was a very manly yes , you are right, honey. Maybe, a bit too much bass.

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@Zavier_D I kind of like having lost a little hearing, personally–I would just buy some and say “I know I heard you agree with me?!”

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My wife has a hat, boot, and tool fetish. She has her own rolling tool box (she keeps it locked most of the time). And of course I have a tool fetish. The mrs also has more guns than I. A year and a half ago when I spent 36 days in the burn unit, she never left my side. To this day, I dont know how she did it.

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That’s a good woman, brother.

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Happy wife, happy family Xavier,

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Darn darn…I have been married and divorced a few times, been on a first named basis with the deeevorced (spelling my humor) judge. I didn’t know how to pickum. My mrs , justfibly so, rags on me about my messy office, and threatens to shovel it in the dumpster.

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I’ve been fortunate, horrible childhood. But I think God looked down on me and said “you know, I kind of messed up the whole childhood thing. But I’m going to put this amazing woman in your life” going on 30 years. Marriage has been good. Plus we raised an amazing daughter.

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A little background…on our own range, over the last few years, the mrs devised a way to pick up our brass, collect, and clean the dirt, as our range is outdoors. Locally brass prices have peaked a bit, and we have several buckets in various places collecting dust and taking up space. We have a disabled fellow that collects our aluminum and is heading to recycle, so I thought I have him take the brass. The mrs clearly informed me and this nice fellow, that the brass was hers, and the $$$ from the sale were to go to her. I thought I would buy more ammo…so last night I asked what she would do with her $$$, hmmmm the reply again was nunya. Gotta laugh! I keep forgetting Idaho is a community property state.

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Still no replacement hats, or Gronk autograph. Starting to think this may not be as simple to fix as she thought. Oh well, if this is the worst thing I have to deal with, I can use it as a get out of jail free card sometime in the future.

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