Favorite Gun Memes II

Tueller’s rule applied :+1: :wink:


Did he legitimately feel his life was in danger or a threat of great bodily harm? Absolutely.


Lara Croft vs Indiana Jones. Epic Rap Battles Of History. - YouTube

Grandson: Grandpa, why are you studying Hebrew? Are you going to move to Israel in your old age?

Grandpa: No, I am studying Hebrew because when I die and go to Heaven, I want to be able to talk to Abraham and Moses. Everybody speaks Hebrew in Heaven.

Grandson: But… If you go to the other place?

Grandpa: Its OK, I already speak Russian.


A woman and her 13 years old son were inside a Taxi. It was raining and all the twilight girls (Prostitutes) were standing by the roadside.

The Boy asked; “Mummy, what are all those women doing?"

His Mother replied; “They are waiting for their husbands to come back from work.”

The Taxi driver turned around and said; “Why don’t you tell him the truth? Little boy, they are prostitutes, they sleep with men for money." Said the Driver.

The Boy’s eyes got wide and asked; “Mummy is that true?” His mother, glaring hard at the driver replied; “Yes.!!”

After a few minutes, the boy asked, “Mummy, what happens to the babies those women have?.”

She replied, “Most of them become Taxi drivers."


A guy walks into a bar, orders 12 shots of whiskey, drinks them and collapses onto the floor.

At closing time he is comatose on the floor.

Barman gets his ID and asks if anyone can take the guy home.

A little gay guy jumps up and volunteers.

This goes on all week, the guy comes in, orders 12 shots of whiskey, drinks them, and collapses. And at closing time the same gay guy volunteers to take the guy home.

After a week the guy comes in and orders 12 shots of brandy.

The barman enquires why the change.

“Your whiskey is giving me a pain in the ass”


A woman was teaching Sunday school for a small group of four-year-olds. Unbeknownst to her, she breached a surprisingly controversial topic when she discussed Jonah and the whale. “The prophet Jonah got thrown out of a boat, and was swallowed by a whale, and then was discharged three days later,” she said.

One four-year-old boy spoke up and said, “Nuh-uh! There may have been a prophet Jonah, but he didn’t get swallowed by a whale! It didn’t really happen! That’s just symbolic!”

Another boy said, “Nuh-uh! It did too happen!”

The teacher spoke up and said, “Now boys, it’s just a story, let’s not…”

“Ah-HAH!” said the first boy. “She said it’s just a STORY! You heard her! It didn’t happen!”

“Nuh-uh!” said the second boy. “Just because it’s a story doesn’t mean it’s not true! The largest whales on earth are hundreds of thousands of pounds! They could too swallow a person!”

“Yeah, but there’s a problem, numbskull!” said the first boy. “Whales only eat krill! Their throat is only a few inches wide! They couldn’t swallow a grown man!” said the first boy.

“Like f*** they only eat krill!” said the second boy. “The sperm whale eats giant squid! Even colossal squid! The text never says it was a BALEEN whale!”

The teacher, frustrated, said, “Boys! Let’s not…”

“But live squid are only found hundreds of feet below the surface, numbskull!” said the first boy. “They wouldn’t be eating a person who just fell off a boat!”

“They could too, dimwit!” said the second boy. “And it might not have even been a whale! The term used in the original Hebrew text is ‘dag gadol,’ and that could refer to any number of large aquatic species, even non-cetaceans! It’s not like they had the Linnean classification system back then, you moron!”

The first boy replied, “Well, you can take your Physeter macrocephalus and shove it! Why don’t you just ask Jonah for yourself if he was swallowed by an animal, and you can confirm it that way!”

The second boy, being very young and not yet familiar with the concept of the typical human lifespan, thought this was a practical way to solve the disagreement. “All right,” he said. “After I get home today, I’ll find out Jonah’s email and send him a message asking him. And when he replies, I’ll give you his answer.”

“Yeah, except you CAN’T!” said the first boy. “Jonah’s dead! He died thousands of years ago! So ha! I win!”

The second boy, being very embarrassed for not knowing this, said in reply, “Well, when I die and go to heaven, I’ll ask Jonah myself! Then I’ll get an answer!”

The first boy then said, “Oh yeah? And what if Jonah went to hell?”

After a few moments of silence, the second boy replied, “Well, then YOU can ask him!”


That my friends is a shaggy dog story!

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Oh my god, my brother and I had several of these and we had a blast!!



But you should be looking for those idiots with HAMMERS!!!


If you look around on the net there is a video of 2 black guys arguing…

one is keeping his arms at his side while the others is talking and waving his arms around…

suddenly the one that had his arms at his side swing and hits the other guy in the head with a hammer he had sorta concealed…

knocked the guy down and continued hitting him in the head… pretty sure he killed the guy…

then he did a quick search of the guys pockets took something and then kinda strutted away…


When I was living in Kalifornistan I could not carry but I always had a weapon in the car. Usually a straight claw electricians hammer. It is a nasty weapon but still a tool.


California might be banning assault hammers soon. Wait and see.


The new California compliant limited capacity framing hammer. Must be 8 oz maximum capacity.


Home Depot and Lowes terminals are now hooked up with DOJ because you also need a background check.



Is this an assault hammer?


Can’t have that hammer brace.


Does it have a bayonet lug or high capacity clip thingy?