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You’ve shared one of my personal favorite memes EVER!
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What time did the man go to the dentist? Tooth hurt-y.
Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint.
A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer. Bartender says, ‘Sorry we don’t serve food here.’
Child: ‘Dad, make me a sandwich!’ Me: ‘Poof, You’re a sandwich!’
Anyone: “I’m full/tired/etc.” Me: “Nice to meet you, Full/Tired/Etc. I’m Joe.”
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80% of statistics are made up on the spot.
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I thought it was 92.7???
One that gets my kids every time. “Hey do you smell popcorn?”
Use that whenever there is something that smells bad…
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three legged dog walks into a bar. says to the bartender, "i’m lookin’ for the man who shot mah pah!
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A Priest, a Rabbi, a blonde and a horse walk into a bar. The bartender asks: What is this, some kind of joke?
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Wow, lmao
I fully endorse this music video!
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It’s almost like they wrote it for me.
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Why didn’t the toilet paper cross the road?
Got stuck in a crack.
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Ya mean, you farted?
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What did the Turkey say to the Turkey hunter?
Quack quack.
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I’m bumping this topic up in preparation for a bunch of upcoming family time… So when the political conversations start, you can always redirect the conversation with an Epic Dad Joke!
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One of my favorites! It’s better because I have long hair so I can imitate it.
A string walks into a bar with a few friends and orders a beer.
The bartender says, “I’m sorry, but we don’t serve strings here.”
The string walks away a little upset and sits down with his friends.
A few minutes later he goes back to the bar and orders a beer. The bartender, looking a little exasperated, says, “I’m sorry, we don’t serve strings here.”
So the string goes back to his table. Then he gets an idea. He ties himself in a loop and messes up the top of his hair.
Then he walks back up to the bar and orders a beer. The bartender squints at him and says, “Hey, aren’t you a string?”
And the string says, “Nope, I’m a frayed knot.”
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