Dumb Parenting Mistakes

So as we all need to have a laugh from time to time, I decided to take a different path and each of us can share our own parenting fail.

My parenting fail happened when my daughter was almost 2 years old. I was a single father and my pit/lab mix dog Shyla and I were basically raising this little terror of mine together. One day, I was changing a particularly awful diaper only to realize I hadn’t grabbed a new diaper yet. Not wanting to leave the little climber alone on the changing table, I picked her up and learned first hand why diapers are a must. She peed on me. No worries…I cleaned her up and set her on the floor so I could change my shirt and get a new diaper. Unfortunately, as any parent learns the hard way, I walk into her room to retrieve her and put a new diaper on and I see her squatting over her rug pooping on the carpet. Now my day is complete, I’ve been peed on, my daughter pooped on the carpet and I’m beginning to wonder at what point I can have myself committed. I grab my daughter, clean her up, PUT A NEW DIAPER ON HER (won’t let that happen again) and then make my way to the kitchen to grab paper towels to clean up the floor. When I get back into my daughter’s room, there in the middle of the room I walk in to find my dog, Shyla, pooping right next to my daughter’s pile. Apparently she didn’t want my little knee biter to get in trouble alone so she dove on the grenade herself and crapped on the floor also. So, now I had two piles of crap to clean up. I still smelled like urine, and I began seriously rethinking my life choices.

I’ll also add my brother’s favorite story as well:
So my parents are enablers and love to shower their grandkid’s with gifts as often as possible. My brother’s boys are 2 years apart. The older son loves to take his younger brother’s stuff because it upsets his little brother so much. Well one day my parents arrive and give both boys a coloring book and their own set of crayons. As I heard it, everything was going fine until once again the older brother wanted to lay claim on his little brother’s gift which caused the younger brother to grab his coloring book and crayons and run into the play room with his brother not far behind him. Soon later, my parents said they heard a scream from the older brother and went to investigate. My mother said she walked past the older brother crying in the hallway and opened the door to find the youngest had placed the crayons and coloring book on the ground and was peeing on it. When questioned, he said if his brother wants it now, he can take it. My parents said ok, closed the door, walked into the kitchen where my brother and sister in law were, told them what had happened, said their goodbyes and left. I got the call on the road while both of them were laughing hysterically.


My kids were notorious for getting into food in the fridge when we we were not looking. After having major problems with this, having lost the items used for what dinner was going to be, I baked a “cake!” The cake part was a white cake with wasabi and I added jalapenos, cinnamon, cayenne pepper. Then for the frosting I mixed powder sugar with cocoa, cinnamon, cayenne, and pickled jalapeno juice.
I figured that will fix them! They still talk about how good that cake was!


That’s flipping Hilarious!!!

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Do not buy this for your kids!


They will get bored playing on the carpet and will make the game more exciting by dumping them in the toilet to fish out as many as they can while the toilet is being flushed.

Had to take apart 3 toilets to get these damn fish out. Good thing they ended up in the neck and did not get stuck further down the pipe which would have required professional intervention.


OH MY GOD!!! Th.at is “crappy” hahahaha

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I remember when my daughter was about 5 months old I had just got done giving her a bottle of formula. My wife comes home from work and picks her up and lays down on the couch with her. Well my wife’s laying on her back. she begins to toss my daughter up into the air .

I said “hey honey you might not want to do that she just had a bottle of formula.” She said and I quote " it will be fine" as the word “fine” came out her mouth, puke came dropping into her mouth from my daughter. All of it got her mouth and all of it fell to the floor with little added extra from my wife.

She hit me so hard after I fell to the floor laughing so hard my face was purple.

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I’ve gotten a mouth full of that myself and honestly it could be used for crowd dispersal…it’s nasty!

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