U.S. — Former Vice President Dick Cheney excitedly joined the Democrat Party today after seeing that Democrats are allowed to shoot humans at their local gun range.
Cheney announced the move after learning that Missouri Senate candidate Lucas Kunce headed to a gun range, shot a man, and then took photos with the human he’d nailed.
“I can’t believe I’ve been missing out on this,” said Cheney, happily loading up his rifle. “Boy, do I love shooting humans. Looks like that Missouri fella shot his human in the arm – I’m more of a shoot-him-in-the-face guy, but to each his own. Sign me up.”
The entire Cheney family has decided to move to the Democrat Party, although Liz Cheney has adamantly stated it’s not because she likes shooting people. “Don’t get me wrong, shooting people is a perk,” said the former Congresswoman. “I’m joining the Democrats because I was forcefully ejected from the Republican Party for being awful. So, I guess it’s a little bit different.”
At publishing time, former Vice President Cheney had asked a photographer to accompany him to the gun range so he could get a professional picture of whatever human he bagged.
(No comment needed by the Poster)
And in OTHER NEWS!
It’s time to confront the reality that the media has been trying to warn you about for nearly a decade: Donald Trump and Adolf Hitler are exactly the same. If you still deny the blatantly obvious evidence, maybe you’ll be swayed by cold, hard facts.
The Babylon Bee has put together the following list of startling similarities between Trump and Hitler to help you see the light:
- Mein Kampf is German for The Art Of The Deal: Some people may try to tell you that’s not the correct translation, but that’s just revisionist history.
- Both were called Hitler by their political opponents: Obviously not a coincidence.
- If you rearrange the letters in “Trump” (while eliminating the U, M, and P and adding H, I, L, and E) it spells “Hitler”: Things like this don’t just happen by chance.
- Both briefly worked at McDonald’s : Hitler reportedly loved serving up nein-piece Chicken McNuggets.
- They have the exact same mustache but Trump’s is blonde so you can’t see it: Trust us.
- WW2 and January 6th were basically the same: If you don’t believe J6 was that bad, you can subscribe to The Babylon Bee and watch a documentary that will prove it.
- Hitler was a painter and Trump one time did pottery in a commercial: This is no accident.
- Both had cameos in major films: Trump in Home Alone 2, Hitler in Blitzkrieg Of Poland, which are essentially the same.
- Hitler also got two scoops of ice cream when journalists only got one: The true mark of a genocidal fascist.
The Democrats have been saying for eight years now that Trump is Hitler, but we have foolishly failed to listen. We hope this list helps redeem ourselves.
******Hitler reportedly loved serving up nein-piece Chicken McNuggets.
OH I PEED! Nein! Nein! Nein! 