Welcome to the family brother @Gary263 and you are blessed to be here.
Thatās a question of the age! Tho the only real answer I feel safe giving to someone who asks is typically a small list of pistols to try. Tho itās more of an opinion than a answer. Try all the big name ones that are out there. This year more then ever weāve seen huge developments in regards to high capacity concealable handguns.
Sig p320 or p365
Smith and Wesson shield and family
Glocks-17, 19, 43x
Springfield hellcat
Itās truly dependent on your fit and feel when the user handles it. All brands are fairly reliable, well priced and well made.
Personally I like sig. to me itās hard to beat the feel and how they operate. Itās also one of the few pistols on the market thatās super modular. Change the slides, grip module, magazine. Pending on situation and style. You can morph your handgun into what you need it for.
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@DeeB , I love this question, thanks for asking it! And the reason I love it is this. Thereās a tradeoff, isnāt there? At some point capacity comes at the expense of concealability. Thank goodness there are a lot of options available.
Capacity is a good thing, but Iām going to ask a question here that will get me pilloried. If I canāt get the job done with 10 rounds, will I really be able to get it done with 14 or 17 rounds?
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I carry a Glock 26 or Glock 19. I have many magazines that hold 10, 12, 15, 17 and 33 rounds. Every magazine works in the G26 and all but the 10 and 12 round mags work in the G19. My spare mage is usually a 15 round which works in whatever I am carrying.
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I like @MikeBKYās philosophy.
We have to use such strategy in Chicagoland. Itās better to carry the same tool but load 10rd magazine instead of 15-17rd once visiting certain areas.
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I carry a M&P Shield EZ 9mm which the magazine holds 8 rounds (I know itās not too many) however, I always carry an extra mag. Amazing firearm by the way.
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This is the exact question-comment on revolver vs. semi. There is truth in your statement and is pretty much my response. Well said.
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Yes, you will. However if you waste another 4 or 7 rds that means something is not right with your skills / training. 
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This isnāt the question I ask. I ask, āWhat am I carrying today?ā While itās usually the same gun, sometimes itās not.
However, I am entirely certain I will never say, āI wish I hadnāt brought so much ammunition.ā
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I understand what you are saying @Paul1, but in real life 5 or 6 or 10 or 50 may not be enough. Since you do not know what might happen, itās hard to say for even the most proficient shooter how many rounds for any particular incident would be needed. But what if there are multiple assailants? How proficient are even the best shooters when the feces hits the fan. Generally, police standards for firearms proficiency require a score of 80% to pass qualifications. However, real life research shows police hit their targets in the field at 20% or less proficiency. And keep in mind that the 20% (or less) that hit the target may not stop the target.
I stated in another thread on how much do you carry that all I ever want to have on me is enough. Hopefully enough would be 1 round but life tells me that 1 is not enough.
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And then, thereās also the question of should I carry more than one gun?
One is none. Two is one.
But, thatās a question already asked in another thread.
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@MikeBKY Agree on all points. Iāve never been in the heat of battle or facing armed assailants. Probably many of the people on this thread fall in that category. More rounds definitely improve the odds of a positive outcome for me and a negative one for my assailant(s). But it comes with baggage as well ā¦ more weight, larger gun, etc.
At the end of the day, I think itās great that we have the option to carry lots of rounds. Itās just not for me. I carry all day, every day, and my personal preference is a 10+1 polymer frame semiauto, because itās comfortable and because Iāve put 3,000+ rounds downrange with it. Iām not a soldier. Iām not an LEO. I just want an honest chance to stop the Bad Guy. Great post sir.
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I agree completely @Paul1! More often than not, I carry my G26 with a 12 rd mag and one in the pipe and a spare 15 round magazine. If I am going somewhere that I believe the threat may be higher, I will carry the G19 with a 15 rd mag and 2 spare 15 round mags. Itās all part of the risk assessment when I am walking out the door, just like what clothing I should wear for weather.
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Sure many defensive situations can be handled with a low capacity firearm, but I have seen and read of many that could not. If you tell me that on Friday at 3 I am going to be attacked and there is no way I can avoid it then I am showing up with a semi auto rifle with a bunch of 30 round mags, a backup handgun, and the best body armor I can find. Obviously we canāt all walk around like that every day and I certainly wouldnāt want to. But more capacity gives you more options to face a wider variety of threats and circumstances.
I sometimes carry a tiny 7 round pistol which is way better than carrying nothing more than a knife as I am often forced to do. But I feel much more capable of handling most of the situations that could arise when carrying a pistol with a 13 round or higher capacity. The Sig P365 and Glock 19 are my current preferred choices.
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I love my Hellcat! I bought it when it 1st came out and would love to get a 2nd one thatās an RDP version. I have a Glock 19 MOS thatās larger. In between, I also have a Canik TP9 SC that came with reflex red dot. The trigger is amazing and it came with a 12 & 15 round mags. I see there are larger capacity mags for it but I donāt see the need to get that crazy with mag size. 
. I can easily conceal my Hellcat or the TP9 with 12 round mag.
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You can conceal pretty much anything. It depends on whatās comfortable and concealable for you.
I carry an M&P9 17+1. You might find a Shield + more practical 13+1.
I carry a full size primarily for the shootability. The capacity is kind of a by product.
Lots of options these days! G17,19, 19X, 43X, 48 M&P shield, shield plus, full size, compact, subcompact, hellcat, p365, p365xl, rugar max 9
We are in the golden age of firearms!
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I just started thinkingā¦what āhigh capacityā actually means these daysā¦ 
12? Few years ago it was super high capacityā¦today even small fully concealable handgun gets this amountā¦
17? Yes. This one has been HC for a long timeā¦
But we can have 19, 21, 25ā¦ even 30 
and still somehow concealableā¦
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āAre you concealing a 30, or are you happy to see me?ā
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Need to consider not AIWB thenā¦ 
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Deeāplease make sure you try them out (rental) before buying. Itās going to come down to
-what is the most accurate for you
-what is the most comfortable for you
Essentiallyāyou need to have confidence in your selection.
Iād look at Pew Pew Tactical on the net. They have reviews of these that should be helpful.
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