I’m a Public School guy Brothers, ‘Venn Diagrams’ (without a definition or explanation) Do Wiz by my like a Tractor Trailer on I=40 Zoomie-ing past a Tesla!
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Yes Sir, was adding to the nonsense. Everyone knows she would fight off any attacker with a yellow school bus. She does love them busses. I mean, who doesn’t?
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Don102 sir I wish we could hold all the Leftest accountable and not send them any where but Home. I know it’s Dangerous kaz i was thinking again . Sir. They should Be charged an after conviction sent to a third world country with their Leader Garca their poster Boy !!! Thank you for your service sir . Love Bobby Jean and Debbie ann sir
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The Dem Leftists have Ruined my Buzz lol ps I am under cover 
it’s not me
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10 Irrefutable Signs Trump’s Health Is Declining
Politics·Sep 2, 2025 · BabylonBee.com
Speculation has been swirling about President Donald Trump’s health, with some people even spreading wild rumors that he died over the weekend. What’s the real story?
The Babylon Bee has come up with the following list of undeniable signs that Trump’s health is going downhill:
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Trump has been occasionally posting in lowercase on social media, and his posts have been more coherent: This is not normal.
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He is sometimes seen sitting down: A sure sign of failing health. Obviously weak.
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He only managed to eat eight Big Macs today: It’s like he’s slowly fading away.
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The man’s frickin’ 80 or something: Obviously, anyone over 80 years old is at death’s door.
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Trump shakes hands with nobody, says nonsense, and wanders around aimlessly: Oh, wait, that was the last guy. (NAILED IT!)
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He shot a mere 36 on the links this weekend: Sources close to Trump say he’s a shadow of his usual 24.
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He only works 23 hours a day now: A shocking decline in stamina.
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JD Vance beat him at Super Smash Bros. yesterday: This NEVER used to happen. Trump’s losing his touch.
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He introduced just 68 new tariffs in the last eight hours: This drop in productivity is concerning.
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Trump’s normally tangerine skin color is slowly fading to a burnt sienna hue: The end is near.
This is terrifying evidence. It’s obviously only a matter of time before Trump is out of commission. Did we miss any warning signs? Let us know in the comments.
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Did he just say ‘Reports of my death are greatly exaggerated’? Now he’s a Plagerist too! Shame Shame!
Mark Twain
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NO WARS! He doesn’t START FIGHTS, He ENDS THEM
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I think he pinched a finger when he slammed the Southern Boarder Gate shut! Yeeeeeeouch! That Smarts! (sure sign of….of….of… whispers dementia Don…Yeah Yeah Dementia!
)
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I love the fact that the dimocrats that are saying that Trumps health is declining, only a year ago were saying how healthy, alert and spry that the creepy old pedophile was.
You can’t make this stuff up.
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More Winning: Trump Bombs Ship Smuggling 30,000 Kilos Of Pumpkin Spice
U.S.·Sep 4, 2025 · BabylonBee.com
DT phots1 / Shutterstock
U.S. — In the latest in an ongoing streak of victories that experts predicted would significantly improve the lives of Americans, President Donald Trump announced that he had ordered the U.S. military to bomb a ship smuggling over 30,000 kilos of illegal pumpkin spice.
Though the unilateral strike in international waters caused shockwaves in the global community and drew criticism from other nations, Trump said that the seizure of the black-market pumpkin spice supply would make the fall season safer for the American people.
“This is a big victory for America,” Trump told reporters. "For far too long, illicit pumpkin spice has been flooding across our borders, creating a growing epidemic of addiction and destroying the lives of millions of American housewives. Very sad, the pumpkin spice problem in this country. Today, we tell the pumpkin spice cartel, ‘No more.’ I told them to write that on the bomb. Maybe now, Americans can enjoy the fall season in peace."
Critics said Trump’s unauthorized move would destabilize the pumpkin spice industry and create an even more chaotic autumn. “This will only make things worse for American families,” said Senator Rand Paul in a televised interview. “The United States is not the world’s pumpkin spice police. If the president is going to do this without proper congressional authorization, what’s next? Unilaterally bringing back the McRib against the wishes of McDonald’s? This is a terrifying slippery slope.”
At publishing time, in another step toward keeping fall excitement under control, Trump announced 50% tariffs on all flannel shirt imports. OH LORDY! Too Duckin’ Funny!
Editor’s Note: Since coming out of ‘PUMPKIN SPICE REHAB’ LAST MONTH (I KNEW I HAD A PROBLEM WHEN I TRIED TO ORDER A ‘PS BURRITO’ OH BOY WAS I ADDICTED! 
Next I here he’s going to blow-up COCA-COLA (Then I’ll really be in Trouble!)
IF YOU KNOW ANYONE WHO IS SERIOUSLY ADDICTED THE DEADLY DIET COKE THERE IS HOPE IN DONALD TRUMP—GET THEM HELP OR THEY WILL SUPER SIZE THEMSELVES TO DEATH!
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With violent crime continuing to plague American cities, the time has come for truly radical measures. Here are seven ideas for extreme changes to make our cities safer:
- Have highly trained guys with guns patrol dangerous parts of the city to protect innocent people: They could even wear like a badge so people know who they are.
- Take the violent people you arrest and keep them in some sort of building away from other people: It’s crazy, but it just might work.
- If someone gets arrested a dozen times, they actually have to stay in the building away from people: Extreme, we know.
- Get a billionaire orphan whose parents were killed by a criminal to dress up in a cool outfit and protect the city: Brilliant.
- Appoint judges who have passed some kind of exam to prove that they know about the laws: Revolutionary idea.
- If someone stops a violent criminal, don’t arrest that person: Whoa. Total game-changer.
- Bring back the gallows: Now we’re talking.
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World Deemed Unworthy Of Charlie Kirk
Christian Living·Sep 11, 2025 · BabylonBee.com
Gage Skidmore / Wikimedia
HEAVEN — Charlie Kirk, faithful follower and witness of Jesus Christ, has been welcomed home to enter into the joy of his Lord.
Heavenly sources confirmed that, after 31 years of graciously allowing everyone on Earth to benefit from his life, God deemed the world unworthy of Charlie Kirk and brought him into eternal glory where he belonged.
A gifted and articulate apologist for Christianity and American values, Kirk was on record as stating that, despite building a massive following and influencing global events, “It’s all about Jesus.” Reports from Satan’s kingdom, conversely, indicated that there was joy and celebration that such a formidable warrior had been taken out of the fight.
At publishing time, Charlie Kirk, good and faithful servant, had arrived into the open arms of his Savior.
ME: ‘My Sister just said Charlie Kirk FAITHFULLY FULLFILLED HIS CONTRACT AND THE LORD CALLED HIM HOME’…. well said Sis.
God Bless the Babylon Bee—–
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‘Why Won’t Conservatives Give Up Their Guns?’ Ask The People Shooting At Them
Politics·Sep 11, 2025 · BabylonBee.com
1000 Words / Shutterstock
U.S. — A new poll suggested ongoing confusion as to why conservatives won’t give up their guns among those who keep shooting at them.
“I don’t get it,” said one violent left-wing activist. “It’s like they want to be able to defend themselves or something.”
According to the Gallup poll, approximately 97% of armed assailants expressed surprise and bewilderment that conservatives won’t simply lay down their arms and allow themselves to be controlled or openly attacked.
Meanwhile, conservatives were reportedly more enthusiastic than ever to buy more guns. “I want to be able to defend myself and my family,” said local conservative Gary Russell. “I mean, people who disagree with me want me and everyone like me to die, so it’s a good idea to have protection.”
Democratic leaders likewise expressed dismay that conservatives would continue to refuse to disarm themselves in the face of open, murderous hostility. “What surprises me most about conservatives is that they aren’t afraid of guns,” said Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer. “Despite the fact that people are aiming guns at them and trying to kill them, they still want to have guns of their own. It’s troubling.”
At publishing time, liberals expressed further surprise that people being victimized by political violence wanted them to stop calling for political violence.
Me: I get more info from ‘Da Bee’ than I do FOX NEWS!
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Once again, Babylon Bee has the truest of truth. That piece got to me, brother.
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Yes Sir, They have a habit of doing that don’t they?
Between ‘Sinbad’s’ Post yesterday and this at least Humanity has a chance of surviving itself…I was starting to worry…
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Satan: ‘I’ve Made A Huge Mistake’
U.S.·Sep 21, 2025 · BabylonBee.com
U.S. — Surveying the hundreds of thousands gathered for Charlie Kirk’s memorial service, along with the millions watching across the globe, a despondent Satan declared that he had “made a huge mistake.”
“Well, this isn’t going like I planned at all,” sighed Satan, as churches once again were filled to overflowing around the nation. “Listen to all that worship. How are even more people praising God in the face of death? Ugh. I’ve really screwed the pooch this time.”
At publishing time, an enraged Satan had learned that thousands more souls had slipped out of his grasp.
Yes, you Twisted Sister! YOU SCREWED DA POOCH!
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Nazi Rally Inspires Millions To Forgive And Love Their Enemies
Worldviews·Sep 22, 2025 · BabylonBee.com
GLENDALE, AZ — Revival seems poised to sweep around the globe, as an enormous Nazi rally held at State Farm Stadium reportedly inspired millions of people throughout the world to forgive and love their enemies.
The worldwide stirring of forgiveness resulted from the unprecedented Nazi gathering, as hundreds of thousands of bigoted, fascist attendees met to use their evil hatred to spread a message of love and salvation from sin.
“This horrifying event is flooding the world with love,” said one stunned journalist who was present at the rally. “In an unexpected consequence, these hundreds of thousands of Nazis have shown mankind how to turn away from hate and choose to offer forgiveness to their enemies. The danger here cannot be overstated.”
Video clips of the rally, filled with Christian worship music, quotes from the Bible, and urgent pleas for people to repent of their sins and turn to Jesus Christ for salvation and peace, quickly went viral on social media, with accompanying content warnings to notify users of the graphic words and images.
“Everyone should be aware that these Nazis are — by their own admission — out to ‘conquer the world,'” said one outraged social media user. “They keep talking about their leader who supposedly died and came back to life, and is now apparently saving people from their sins and giving them the ability to love and forgive their enemies. Terrible, horrifying stuff.”
At publishing time, concerned Democrats were asking television networks and social media platforms to remove all videos from the event to prevent further Nazi radicalization.
I HAD NO IDEA I WAS A NAZI? Muahahahahahaha!
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Oh, come on, we all knew it… just look at your screen pic, so obvious.
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Oh, that is a kitten… as Gilda Radner would say, “Nevermind.” 
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Easy for you to say.
But I’m NOT a kitten !… I’m a SHARK see! Da-Naa! 
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Clarence Thomas Gently Explains To KBJ That Not All Black People Are Mentally Disabled, Just Her
U.S.·Oct 15, 2025 · BabylonBee.com
WASHINGTON, D.C. — After Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson claimed in court today that all black people are mentally disabled, Justice Clarence Thomas gently informed her that it’s actually just her.
Not wanting to embarrass Jackson in front of the rest of the court, Justice Thomas waited for a brief recess to explain.
“I don’t know how to say this best, Ketanji, but not all black people are mentally disabled. It’s just you,” said Thomas. “You having an exceptionally low IQ has absolutely nothing to do with your skin color, Ketanji. You’re just an idiot. I know this is hard for you to understand… I mean, of course it is, you’re mentally handicapped.”
Onlookers reported Jackson was stunned by the news, shocked to learn that not all black people are mentally disabled. She sullenly closed the Leapfrog tablet she had been playing Sesame Street puzzles on, before hurling it at the wall in rage. Justice Thomas, however, managed to lift her spirits with a brief game of peek-a-boo.
At publishing time, Justice Thomas had been forced to have the same conversation with Justice Sotomayor about Hispanics.
I do not understand how this person is a SUPREME COURT JUSTICE still…. Amazed in Albuquerque
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